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astaut
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 03, 2009
Posts: 44
Location: Mississippi
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 Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:03 am Post subject: |
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| knutella wrote: | | buryuntime wrote: | You've only been together 4 months though.  |
It has been my experience that most girls have sex with me in the first week to month of a relationship but I've mostly dated NT girls. I mean this girl and I sleep in the same bed half the week, its not like we aren't seeing each other seriously.
If its just a matter of giving her more time I'd feel some relief though, i'm more worried its a case of "never" and this will end in disaster  |
I don't think 4 months is time to start being worried that you haven't slept with her. And she's only 22, it wouldn't be strange if she was a virgin. The longest relationship I was in was almost two years and we never had sex. I know you're worrying about staying in the relationship because you aren't sure if you two will ever sleep together, but she may be worried about staying in the relationship because she feels pressured to sleep with you. I would just try asking her and explain you aren't trying to pressure her, that you just want to know if you two are on the same page. Maybe she doesn't want to have sex before marriage, that's something you could ask. |
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outlier
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2008
Posts: 1501
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| Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:21 am Post subject: |
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| Azharia wrote: | | And if only one party is enjoying it... why do it? Surely men wouldn't want a woman to do that and hate it just for them to get their orgasm if waiting a while would mean they could both enjoy? |
Both courtesy and reason would be required for the above. In my case, they did not worry about it. Although they were not usually pressurizing either, emotional intimacy or physical pleasure in the other barely occurred to them. They were self-focused and anxious about performance, as though it were a test. In their presence, even the good ones, I would feel like an object, which was a turn off. They also could not understand the concept of gender identity or really believe in mine. Although I was the autist, they too did not understand emotional intimacy and reciprocation. |
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jessmc
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 14, 2009
Age: 29
Posts: 31
Location: sacramento
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| Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| This is just a different opinion. Maybe the other girls who slept with you soon did it because they were pressured by society, media, and men. Whereas a person with AS is not likely to make decisions based on those reasons or what may or may not be socially acceptable in a relationship. She is going to make decisions based on her own conclusions. As a girl with AS I find 4 months to be a very short amount of time. It takes me 4 months just to consider a new person my friend. If she thinks you are comparing her to other girls she may feel a lot more reluctant to talk about it because she knows she is very different and you may not understand. |
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Azharia
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 363
Location: Cork, Ireland
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| Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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 I know.
But I still think that there is no need to rush into that for a realtionship. Surely there should be more about one that would keep a partner with them. What happens if one party develops sexual problems later in life. Is the relationship over or the marriage ended just because sex is no longer available? |
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knutella
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 10, 2006
Posts: 14
Location: Las Vegas, NV
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| Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| Well bad news, after 5 months of this and her becoming very disrespectful of me I broke up with her. |
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Meow333
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 22, 2009
Posts: 50
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| knutella wrote: | | Well bad news, after 5 months of this and her becoming very disrespectful of me I broke up with her. |
That's good. I'm sure you couldn't have loved her, as true love is not one person wanting to have sex if the other isn't ready. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 25
Posts: 7536
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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| knutella wrote: | | Well bad news, after 5 months of this and her becoming very disrespectful of me I broke up with her. |
Disrespectful because she wouldn't put out?
Or some other reason?
_________________
The www will take you to paradise. |
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Meow333
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 22, 2009
Posts: 50
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| Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:49 am Post subject: |
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| I would take it he meant "5 months of this" meaning she wouldn't put out for him. Good for her! All he seems interested in was sex anyway and they did have a 10 year age different. He at least could have respected her not wanting to have sex with him. |
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