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privateperson1
Emu Egg
Joined: Feb 09, 2006
Posts: 6
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 Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:13 pm Post subject: Why do we make enemies so quickly? |
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How can it be that we are often the subjects of someone’s attack?
The world does not seem to cater or in any way reward the advanced. Are we just targeted or labeled so the primitive majority won't riot or something?
There is more to life than the ability to gab endlessly about a stupid TV show or how cutesy someone finds some thing to be. How is this behavior even relevant in a work setting?
Are others afraid they may have to compete with us or do they just think we are frigid?
Why must we play their little game? What gives? |
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alex
Developer
Joined: Jun 14, 2004
Age: 22
Posts: 6265
Location: DC Metro Area
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| Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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| there are plenty of people who are interesting and don't want to talk about TV. You just have to know where to find them. I bet you the people at Google aren't chit-chatting about TV shows as much as the people at your current job. Unless you work at google |
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privateperson1
Emu Egg
Joined: Feb 09, 2006
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:32 pm Post subject: Thanks |
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Thanks for your reply.
I just get annoyed because sometimes it feels like no matter what company it is, only the people with the least relevant skills are rewarded.
It's like being surrounded by monkeys and they are the ones who will that get the larger promotion because they need us to stick around and do the real work.
Why do companies want to impose this type of hostage syndrome on us. One would think that would be against everything a company should want and it's frustrating that it's so common.
It is no wonder that so many here are between jobs. |
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pyraxis
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 26, 2005
Posts: 1527
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| Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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I think it depends on the company. The one I work at seems to be a rare island in the storm, where competence is actually the highest currency. As long as social problems don't get in the way of efficiency, what matters most is how quickly and how well you can get your work done. Everyone's got deadlines, everyone's working a ton of hours, and really at that point people just stop caring about anything but getting done and getting a break. So anything that helps bring that about is looked on with favor.
It has its disadvantages but so far I love it. |
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Jonny
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 10, 2005
Posts: 433
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 8:14 am Post subject: |
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I agree it depends on the company.
Basically gabber type people climb the ladder faster because they have better relationships with others. A working environment is not just about how good you are the job or how much you know, people want to work with others that they get on well with. Its sucks for us aspies cos most of us want to me left alone (well I do anyway) but it dosnt work like that and its something you have to accept.
If I ever have my own company in future I'll be sure to employ only aspies. |
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Sunni
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 08, 2006
Posts: 55
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 8:45 am Post subject: |
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I suffer from this problem too, and I'm between jobs. (The post was really funny by the way, you have a cool sense of humour)
It seems as though our type find reward in applying effort and advancing our minds, whereas the vast majority of office cretins spend most of their time trying to do the opposite. Drinking alcohol, watching soaps and reading trashy magazines seem to be popular routes to ruination and they can't get enough.
I think lots of people are scared to use their minds. Let's face it - the thinking man's life is difficult. It's why loads of geniuses kill themselves. Sometimes I marvel at the blissfully ignorant state these masses live in, but most of the time I sit in silent anguish and ask God why me. It is totally ironic that these cretins are rewarded for their stupidity.
Revolution, anyone? |
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CuriousPrimate
Raven
Joined: Feb 01, 2006
Posts: 115
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| Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:21 pm Post subject: Re: Thanks |
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| privateperson1 wrote: | | I just get annoyed because sometimes it feels like no matter what company it is, only the people with the least relevant skills are rewarded. |
This isn't a new concept. In their book The Peter Principle, 1969, Dr Lawrence Peter and Raymond Hull presented the theory that all members of a hierarchy rise to their own level of incompetence (known ever since as the Peter Principle). I've seen it in most of the places I've worked.
Hell, I have Asperger's (although not diagnosed at that time) and I was made the Human Resources officer in a private college. So it happened to me too! (I didn't last long in the position though, LOL.) |
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Papillon
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 02, 2005
Posts: 649
Location: Sudbury, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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1,
I wish I could give you a straight and sensible answer but it's impossible. I too have made the same observations and could never find an answer to the question that our society punishes its saviours and worships its betrayers. Things I've noticed in various workplaces include:
• It was alright for my colleagues to get romantically involved with each other seemingly with impunity. I did that at one job and it was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.
• It was alright for my colleagues to eat off the hot cart at the nursing home but I got snitched when I dared to do it once and it got me a reprimand.
• It was alright for my colleagues to slack off and complete the shift with minimal work but management sure noticed it quickly when my production seemed to be down for any reason.
• It was alright when fellow crew members in tree-planting stashed their trees or snuck them into my tree tray so I planted and they got paid but when I confronted the offending crew member, the entire crew sided with my opponent. Go figure!
• It was alright for colleagues to be belligerent and condescending toward me but not alright when I mirrored them.
• It was alright for colleagues to steal tools, equipment, and other goods that belonged to the employer but knowing my rotten luck, I never ventured with that one.
I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the picture. Where I work now, I just do things as expected and don't get personally involved with any of my colleagues. If anybody does things that are ethically questionable, I shrug it off as it "not being my department" and trust that if management are reasonably straightforward, they will act on the issue.
I do have a theory about how some groups of colleagues seem to have so much impunity about behaving in those questionable ways: (1) the employer could be a family business and/or (2) the staff could be a communal clique that have known each other for a long time and like to keep the workplace an in-the-group thing.
Other than that, all I can say is carry on and stick to doing what's in your best interests.
_________________
If "manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
**Sting, Englishman In New York |
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parts
Jack of All Trades
Joined: Sep 03, 2005
Posts: 1610
Location: New England
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| Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:38 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | I just get annoyed because sometimes it feels like no matter what company it is, only the people with the least relevant skills are rewarded.
It's like being surrounded by monkeys and they are the ones who will that get the larger promotion because they need us to stick around and do the real work.
Why do companies want to impose this type of hostage syndrome on us. One would think that would be against everything a company should want and it's frustrating that it's so common. |
I felt the same way were I used to work. I got paid by the piece since I was good at what I did and could figue out alomst any job we would get even better that most anyone there I would be stuck with the much harder jobs or finishing other peoples mistakes and then having to argue for more money while peolpe there who where horrid at there job got all the easy ones and made more than me. I finally quit but it happened everywhere I went I got some extras but I figured I'd never get anywhere at places like that becuse it was just easier for them to have me do it.
It made every one else look good and solved there problems why promote me and ruin it for themselves then they'd have to find someone else. |
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k96822
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2006
Posts: 513
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| Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 1:24 am Post subject: |
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It is strange, though, isn't it, that it seems like companies are trying to defeat themselves? I used to get paranoid, thinking that perhaps corporations and schools are just ways to keep us diverted from the truth, whatever crazy X-Files fantasy that might be. But, I got more "sane" over time.
The big secret is, most people are parasites salivating at the chance to exploit the few. We are so very far behind in technology and culture than where we should be if it weren't for the parasitic masses. I hate to be depressing, but it's verifiable and universal. I've had the mixed fortune of working at many different companies with completely different environments (I'm a consultant). I came up with a phrase: "Same Sh*t, Different Logo".
Experiment:
* Demonstrate your talent.
* Note how many people talk about how they can use your talent to make money.
* Note how they think you should be honored to do this for them.
I can't even fathom the number of times anymore someone has come up to suggest starting a company so they can get rich. Never does the other person even suggest they will work, like the idea of starting a company is something I never thought of and that is their whole contribution! Once, I decided to see what would happen if I took one of these guys up, literally, to perform an experiment (if I have a negative view on the world, I have to prove it for it to stick). They rented a hotel room, had me code their product, trying to entice me with promises of riches. After a while, they tried to get more out of me, but never penciled me in as a part owner like they said they would. I finally said I wanted a contract to work on it further, but that didn't happen. They never allowed me to materially invest in any way in the company they were starting. I knew what was going on and it wasn't that much effort for me to write the software. It was well worth it to verify that my world view was accurate, even though it was negative.
Experiment:
* Start an on-line company based around your talent.
* Note how many people will attempt to get your services for free.
I once started and shut down a company because I could not manage to get a paying customer. I had the whole works going: quote sheets, ledgers, man, I was up and coming! But, nobody wanted to pay. They saw me as an exploitable naive resource. Oh, lots of people who would waste my time to try and persuade me, voice rolling, hands gesturing, wink*wink! to do work for them. They walk away without even so much as a goodbye once they got a quote (and I was cheap!). Once they realize they can't use you, they don't even waste time on social nicities -- they just move on to the next person they think they can exploit.
Trick is, we have something they can never have and we have to learn to enjoy it ourselves. They are jealous for a reason. (I had to try to end this on a positive note).
PS: Someone save this thread and put some positive out here! There may not be a solution, but surely I must be wrong. These anecdotal experiences can't be the rule!!! |
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MsTriste
OTS
Joined: Dec 08, 2005
Age: 44
Posts: 3373
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| Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 2:25 am Post subject: |
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I too have suffered from NT harassment and hostility and unfair treatment at every single job I've ever had. It's too traumatic to even list all the ways I've suffered. I'm currently on disability for stress related to a hostile work environment, as a matter of fact, however, in this case it was so bad that I filed a complaint with the EEOC and the case is going to mediation. I'm finally learning to stand up for myself.
But I'm scared to go work again, because I KNOW it will be a horrible experience no matter what. Sigh. |
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parts
Jack of All Trades
Joined: Sep 03, 2005
Posts: 1610
Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 7:45 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | PS: Someone save this thread and put some positive out here! There may not be a solution, but surely I must be wrong. These anecdotal experiences can't be the rule!!! |
I'm self employed now still get a lot of the "could you do it for less" but I'm getting more customers who are feed up with people tring to take atvantage of them and am getting somewhat busy to the point I don't call back the can you do it for less people anymore. One guy called me everyday for over a month wanting a lower price I'd see the number on the phone and not pick up till he called my supplier and told him to call me and he'd go for the orginal price. |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:20 am Post subject: |
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No-one can ever underestimate the power of office politics. You often don't know who is related to who or who is sleeping with who (and don't forget, even people who aren't homosexuals may sleep with same sex people if it will lead to a promotion or some other advantage).
We get caught out doing things that others do with impunity because we are not usually as sneaky as them. They know how to pass the blame whereas we find it well-nigh impossible to lie.
I would not want my own business but some people say I should sell my craft items. I've sold a few but got irritated when people said "I like this one but can you make it the same but in a different colour" and then never bought it anyway.
_________________
Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
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UncleBeer
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 19, 2004
Posts: 769
Location: temporarily trapped in Holland
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| Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:31 am Post subject: |
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Here's my take:
NTs are generally insecure people. When we don't want to hang out with them, or gratuitously laugh at their lame jokes, or ask about their dog, they see it as offensive behaviour. They feel like we deny them their self-worth and importance by not wanting to be chummy with them.
It's them, not us.  |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 8:40 am Post subject: |
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Mum somebody told me I could "fit in" if I wore better clothes, asked about their dog etc but I said if they didn't like me now, they wouldn't like me any better if I put on an act.
_________________
Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
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