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Was anyone else like this? (following rules/obeying)
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Phoenix


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As a child and an adolescent I was very anxious about breaking rules because I felt like I couldn't handle getting caught. As an adult I learned some rules were provisional.
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gramirez
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was a rule breaker. Whatever the rules said to/not do, I did the opposite!
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rosiemaphone
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to be a rule follower, but i never had a 'rulebook'. The few things I did get in trouble for were when i honestly did not know they were against the rules. Often my breaking of the rules had to do with not knowing that certain things were OK to say to friends (in primary school I had a few friends) but not to say to teachers and other staff.

In my secondary school, I was learning more how to avoid rulebreaking. Mainly I did this just by keeping quiet and not speaking unless I was spoken to. However, I forgot deadlines and homework ridiculously often. These were not intentional rulebreaking, things just slipped my mind.

when i came to my new specialist school, I went through a rebellious phase. I don't quite know why I did it and i feel a little ashamed about it now. I think it was knowing I could be myself and I had friends and no one was going to get me into trouble just for being me. So I felt liberated and almost like I could do whatever I wanted. (Which, obviously, I couldn't.) ((When I was going through my rebellious phase, I never would hurt another person intentionally. I've just never been violent))

Now I follow rules usually. I know a little more about social rules, although not a huge amount. But I have the confidence to argue against a rule if I think it is wrong, silly or unneccessary. I will then ask for reasons for these rules, listen to the explanation, and either accept it or refute it.
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Ambivalence
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I followed some rules very strictly through childhood (up to about fourteen or so, I suppose.) It didn't do me any good. Sad
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Odin
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have always tended to follow rules strictly if I agreed with them and ignored them if I thought they were crap, especially if they were illogical.

When I was a kid and went into Fargo i would always get extremely upset if I saw someone J-walking. Laughing
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LittleTigger
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always tried to keep up with what rules
and laws were around.

I didn't break any on purpose, if there were
too many rules, I forgot alot of them, only
remember the most critical ones.

If a rule was too hard to follow, I usually just
gave up and quit, no sense in doing something
I can't do.

I try but if I can't, I can't.
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Tory_canuck
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember being like that too...Following the rules..and all, except I was allowed to watch whatever I wanted except for pornography.My parents did allow me to go out if I chose to do so, as long as I came home at a reasonable time and let them know where I was in case anything happened.I followed those rules well.

Even today, I am big on rules...and when the instructors preach on ethics and how we should be ethical since as legal assistants we will have to be, I follow that to the Q and would even lecture the other students on such when they try to fib or copy off one another....They get annoyed with that.
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CerebralDreamer
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always liked rules, when they made sense. For those, I would have followed every one of them to the letter, if it weren't for the fact everyone else seemed to have a complete disregard for all of them. For most people, it seems like the only reason they're not willing to kill for personal profit, is the sake of avoiding prison.

The worst part is that a lot of these, put in for protection of others, get frequently disregarded, and the people paid to enforce them often didn't give a rat's ass whether or not they were being broken. As long as their job or reputation wasn't at risk, they were more than willing to let just about anything slide by.
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velodog
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I follow rules I agree with like don't steal or don't cook bacon while naked.

jc6chan wrote:
When I was little I was told by my parents or maybe sunday school teachers that "God is always looking even when your parents can't see what you are doing" but somehow it was only the case for certain things. Like when i got older, people at school would tell me to swear but i would refuse to say swearwords but then i cheated on tests and stuff. When i am driving, i would sometimes feel guilty for going over the speed limit cause it was breaking the law.

By the time I was 6 I figured out that knee slapper of a joke that Yahweh pulled on Abraham (you know where he told Abraham to murder his son and then let Abraham know that he had been punk'd Laughing ) was a needlessly cruel test and by the time I was 7 I was clear enough on the lack of supporting evidence for Yahwehs existence to walk away from the Methodist Church and have not been back.
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i_wanna_blue
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:43 am    Post subject: Re: Was anyone else like this? (following rules/obeying) Reply with quote

McCann_Can_Triple wrote:
I remember back when I was around twelve and had been invited to a sleep over. The rest of the girls had wanted to watch horror movies, but I told them I wasn't allowed to watch them because they where R rated. I ended up going downstairs to watch TGIF with my friend's little brother and sister instead.

It wasn't because I was scared or anything, I just remembered my mom telling me that at one point and I just couldn't phantom not listening to her. Was/is anyone like that as a child or even now? Following the rules and always being aware of them, even when there where no adults around?

I remember never really wanting to rebel and/or break the rules for anything.

I don't know if it is an aspie thing or just a me thing really.


Yes I was like that when I was younger. I was terrified to do anything wrong. Most of the other kids around me didn't care about the rules. They knew no adults would possibly know what they were getting up to. I can't really explain why, but I think it must be my idea of my role in the world. I always felt like a subordinate, and never as someone who could or should make his own mind up. I'm not like that anymore though. Rules and regulations don't scare me into doing the right thing these days.
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blastoff
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked rules. Well, I liked them when other people followed them. This gave me some measure of predictability in interactions with others. Problem is, children aren't so excited about following rules, and my peers would break them all the time. This caused me great distress. Frequently I'd tattle, which didn't make my peers too happy with me, and surprisingly didn't ever get them in trouble. I had it all figured out that the teacher or the lunchroom monitor or whichever adult was around would be happy with me and angry with them, but this wasn't the case.

I *always* followed rules as a kid. I even wanted MORE rules. I guess it was an attempt to gain structure and predictability in my life -- if I knew what was coming, because people were going to follow the rules, I could deal with it better. I still like rules, and I tend to follow them without questioning.
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PlatedDrake
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Same, but my parents were stern on rules . . . paddling for disobeying was common.
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sartresue
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Golden and other rules topic

I would follow rules very literally, and be surprised when others did not. It is easy to understand and follow written rules, codes, etc. and something else when the rules are not laid out so rigidly, like social rules. This is a big screw up area for me, and probably for many others here as well.
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LinnaeusCat
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sgrannel wrote:
Then as I got older I found that many things other people told me were not true, and some rules were based on nonsense, and I could verify truth value of some things by testing. I became very difficult to manipulate because my science education gave me the ability to call out BS whenever it was presented to me, much to the frustration of others, I am sure.


As a child I prided myself on obeying the rules (and the spirit of those rules when I could figure it out). I remember finding the code of chivalry and bushido (the code of the samurai) fascinating when I learned about them. I wanted things (and especially people) to interact in logical productive ways and became very anxious when they didn't. I couldn't enjoy board games unless everyone followed the rules and din't know why others felt they had to improvise.

After school, my parents would ask me about my day and invariably it would turn out that I had done something "wrong" in their eyes and end up punished even though they seemed to be the only ones who found their "rules" neccesary. Loaning a classmate a pen before a test (a big no no because if you loan little things to people they might end up trying to borrow larger things), having a messy desk, accidentally breaking a cheap knick knack, or coming home 10 minutes late from school (no matter what the reason) were seen as proportionally bad to them as if I had tried to steal the teacher's purse.

Worst of all, I was such an earnest/foolish/gullible child that it took me ages to keep these silly transgressions to myself and ended up in the doghouse much of the time.

As I got older I learned to be more discerning and sneaky and kept my own counsel from my parents; learning the difference between useful rules and petty ones.

I still don't cheat at board games though. Smile
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anxiety25
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was and am a big rule follower. I still won't do things even if I know it is normal just because someone forever ago told me not to, or I saw a sign posted relating to it.

I see kids all the time in stores running around like lunatics and all... I get soooo frustrated when my own try to join in, because you aren't supposed to run, anywhere but outside playing pretty much. Everywhere, starting in school, always says "no running" "no horseplay", etc. To this day, it makes me really really nervous if I see a kid running, and if I am trying to keep up with my 5 year old, I will take huge, fast steps, just to avoid running in the store.

I was also told as a child not to touch anything on the shelves of stores. I still keep my hands behind my back if there is an area I'm tempted to touch things in. It drives me nuts that my daughter cannot seem to do the same-every store experience is a nightmare for me, and a field trip for her it seems, lol.

I refuse to go over the speed limit... if I start spacing out, and realize I'm even just a few miles over it, I will slow down immediately upon realizing it, and will usually stay as close to the speed limit as possible.

I've gone places that have the women's bathroom blocked off for some reason, and they say to use the men's (places with only one stall per bathroom, locked door and all)... I just cannot do it.
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