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| Who or What Do You Depend on Financially? |
| Under 18 |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on my family |
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30% |
[ 19 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on the state/social security |
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16% |
[ 10 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on a job with a small company ( less than 20 employees ) |
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3% |
[ 2 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on a job with a medium sized company |
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6% |
[ 4 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on a job with a big company |
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4% |
[ 3 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on a job with the state sector/govt |
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14% |
[ 9 ] |
| 18+, no children, and mainly dependent on a partner |
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3% |
[ 2 ] |
| 18+, with child(ren), and mainly dependent on a partner |
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9% |
[ 6 ] |
| 18+ and mainly dependent on my clients; am self-employed |
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8% |
[ 5 ] |
| 18+ Other |
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3% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 62 |
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| Author |
Message |
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13253
Location: Oregon, USA
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 Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:36 am Post subject: |
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| ouinon wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | | why does the poll only have a choice for those who are 'mainly' dependent on a job? What about those who are ONLY dependent on a job? |
Because this allows for people who claim some state benefit, or receive some parental support, or earn some money in a self-employed fashion, or work part-time but pay most bills with social security cheques, to vote for the option which they receive most money for, without having to have infinite poll options for all the various combinations of financial support/income.
I could have written " mainly or completely", or "75% - 100%", but I thought the poll was quite long/wordy/complex enough already. |
ah! the poll is only to collect information about those who are dependent on others for their livings. I didn't realize that when I found I was excluded from the poll.
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where sin abounds, grace abounds the more;
Non omnis moriar |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 5349
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:41 am Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | | ah! the poll is only to collect information about those who are dependent on others for their livings. |
 er, no! ... Except in so far as everyone is, ( financially dependent on others ), whether dependent on partner, family, clients, their employer or the state!
| Quote: | | I found I was excluded from the poll. |
That's odd. I can't imagine why you would be unable to vote! I seem to remember that you work full-time, or more-or-less, and you said that you are completely dependent on the wages from that job. Well then you can vote for the option which best describes the company you work for, very small, medium, or large etc.
PS. I think this is one of those word nuances/emphasis things? To you "mainly" indicated that there must be a "completely" somewhere, and when there wasn't you thought that all the options must apply to people dependent on their parents or a partner. Ok, see that. Smile ... No, it's for everybody!
Last edited by ouinon on Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:16 am; edited 3 times in total |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 5349
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:45 am Post subject: |
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 Has anyone noticed feeling more relaxed/comfortable about their financial dependence on an employer/a job if their employer is a very big company or is the govt/local council/state sector than if their employer is a very small or smallish business? I think I did.
Last edited by ouinon on Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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LadyMacbeth
They made me do it.
Joined: May 28, 2007
Posts: 1867
Location: In the girls toilets at Hogwarts, washing the blood off my hands.
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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| ouinon wrote: | | LadyMacbeth wrote: | | It entirely depends on how you've been brought up. |
Do you mean that if you've been brought up in the west or a similar culture, in the last 50 years or so, ( where most mothers begin working as soon as child(ren) are old enough for nursery school ) "financial dependence" on a person ( parent or partner ) or on the state, ( rather than on a "job" ), may well mean that you experience a real disempowerment/loss of competency?
Whereas if you were brought up in a "developing country" for instance where people almost routinely rely on close relatives etc for financial support, or simply aren't part of a "money economy", or if you are a woman in a country where women rarely work outside the home, and are totally dependent on their fathers or husbands for money, it would not have this effect?
And/or that if were brought up by a mother who didn't work all through one's childhood, as mine didn't, and with the impression that this was fine/normal/good, that this would mitigate against the wider/general social attitude that financial dependency on a person, ( or the state ) was a sign of inadequacy/incompetence? In my case it seems to have allowed me to tolerate/live with the same situation, until now, but has not completely convinced me of its "healthiness".
Just remembered that my mother did suddenly start going out to work, when I was 16, and carried on for about 7 years, though on an increasingly part-time basis, before abandoning it again. |
Well, that, and now there's a generation whose parents have never worked, i.e. started claiming welfare/benefits as soon as they left school, and have no work ethic, and so bring their kids up with no effort whatsoever. Those children will see their parents not have to do anything for money, so they are likely to follow them, thinking "why do I have to work, we've been doing just fine depending on the state".
My mum instilled in me a strong work ethic, and I worked solidly as soon as I finished compulsory education, alongside further education. It was only after I got laid off in May that I've not had something to do, and it depresses me immensely. And it's not for lack of trying, either. I'm simply hopeless at interviews. I'm applying to become a volunteer for my local autism team next week just so I can get out of the house, really. Not to mention giving something back to society.
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We are the mutant race!!!! Don't look at my eyes, don't look at my face... |
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pineapple
Velociraptor
Joined: May 01, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 467
Location: san francisco
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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I'm 25. I have a job, but it doesn't pay much. (Technically, I'm not even employed, I'm a volunteer getting a stipend.) I still consider myself dependent on my parents because I live with my mom and don't contribute anything except gardening or cleaning up. (My parents are separated, but my mom doesn't work and all the money comes from my dad's job.) This topic is really relevant to my own experiences because I used to be OBSESSED with the idea of being financially independent. I thought I would never be happy unless my parents weren't supporting me at all. So I moved out into a shared house, totally supported myself financially (which was a struggle since I make so little money) and ended up living with a sociopath. This did not make me happy at all. After a few months of that I moved back in with my mom. Luckily, my obsession with financial independence eventually faded. I realized that everyone is financially dependent, unless you live off the grid or something. I'm still unhappy with my situation because my work assignment ends in December; after that I'll have no income of my own. I don't like the town my mom lives in, but I don't know where else to go-- or how to get there.
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chuck norris does not sleep. he waits.
Go here, be asexy------> http://theonepercentclub.blogspot.com |
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Scout12125
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 02, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm 24 and I depend entirely on my family. I am trying to go back to school. It would be very nice to be able to depend on myself but from where I'm sitting right now that's never going to happen. It's kind of depressing really. I've only known that I've had Asperger's for just a year and before that I was pretty lost, but now it seems like I am more lost because now that I know that I've got it, and what the deal is with me and I'm sitting here watching everyone else that is my age move on with their lives and be independent and it makes me feel awful. |
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pineapple
Velociraptor
Joined: May 01, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 467
Location: san francisco
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Scout12125 wrote: | | ...I'm sitting here watching everyone else that is my age move on with their lives and be independent and it makes me feel awful. |
I feel the same way. I don't think other people are as independent as they make out, but they put on an awfully good show in terms of moving on.
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chuck norris does not sleep. he waits.
Go here, be asexy------> http://theonepercentclub.blogspot.com |
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Sallamandrina
Deinonychus
![]()
Joined: Jan 25, 2009
Age: 34
Posts: 355
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 1:55 am Post subject: |
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For the time being, I am dependent on my partner, although I usually work for small to medium companies. I don't mind the current situation as my husband never acts like I owe him anything and I don't have to ask for money as I'm the one handling the finances. It's very important to me that my home is clean and a place of beauty and balance, plus I'm an excellent cook and "handyman", so I have no reason to feel guilty for not doing my part or anything. But I used to hate depending on my parents. I ran away at 18 and chose some pretty bad living conditions only to be independent. I've never been dependent on the state as I was raised to believe that's a form of parasitism  (Yes, now I know that's bullshit), and somehow always managed on my own.
So I'd say the most important thing is what are you asked for in return. If you have a disability or paid into the system and lost your job, there's no reason to feel guilty for getting money from the state. If your parents or partner are understanding and generous and you feel you give something back, things should go well. But a lot of people aren't and will become unreasonable or abusive when they feel they have the higher hand (same goes for bosses). I imagine that's why many prefer to rely on the state - if you qualify for help you'll just get it and in most places you will not be asked to bent over backwards or be someone's slave for it. People might do so.
*in some cultures this will be just the other way around, but when you draw the line what matters is the price you'll have to pay for your dependency
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"The destructive character is cheerful and friendly and knows only one motto: Make Room" - Walter Benjamin |
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veiledexpressions
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 24, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 69
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 9:18 am Post subject: |
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I am 26, and mainly dependent on my husband. I have children, and started staying home to care for them when my youngest was born, and when we learned of the severity of my daughter's disabilities.
While it's nice, because I don't have to interact with people often, it's something that would have happened AS or not. My daughter's needs are too great to be met in a daycare facility, nor would I trust her with strangers. She does have an awesome teacher at school, but only attends school about 40% of the time (30% this year due to seizures). |
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Irisrises
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 10, 2007
Posts: 166
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:01 am Post subject: |
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I think I would have to be an austler, that is an autistic hustler, that is I live by my wits but everything I do is gentle, quiet and innocent.   |
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beejay
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Age: 29
Posts: 169
Location: Wilmington, North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:58 am Post subject: |
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I'm out of work, so I'm on the dole at the moment, but I am as independent as any normal guy my age and actually good with money (after a few rough years in college). I don't like to be dependent on others.
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My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. |
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Blindspot149
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 08, 2009
Posts: 534
Location: Aspergers
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:27 am Post subject: |
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I voted that I am dependent on my clients as I have my own business, but I think it would be more accurate to say that I am dependent on me.
Retaining exisiting clients and attracting new cilents for me, is the result of a lot of thought and hard work.
It is a service business.
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Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?
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visagrunt
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 42
Posts: 353
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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I was financially dependent upon my parents, and then scholarships until I was 23.
I was unemployed for about 9 months, living on savings, until I started working. I was employed full-time, first for a small employer, then for the government until I was 33.
I then made the disastrous switch to self-employment. I was self employed for about 7 years, in a steady, downward spiral! I got back into government a little over 2 years ago, and I couldn't be happier about that.
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--James |
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Song-Without-Words
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 03, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 45
Location: Milton, Fl-near Pensacola
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| Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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I voted family, although I also depend on the state, but the amount is very small, not enough for me to pay rent in most places, and certainly not enough for rent, food, utilities, etc. I have worked, lived on my own in the past. I have also been dependent on a partner, which didn't go well in my case, due to an incidence of domestic violence and mainly unpredictable behavior.
Someone, I can't remember who, talked about disliking being dependent on family because their father lorded over them what he did and talked about contributions, etc.
I'm in a similiar situation with my mother, who is always talking about how much she contributes, blames me for not contributing enough, even when I am giving her a good deal of the small amount of money I have, pushes me to do more, even when she knows it will be too much for me, and tells me that if I complain or dislike it, that I can get out, when she knows that I have nowhere to go. Plus I have to deal with her own mental illness and periods of instability sometimes and mood swings on top of her normal resentment of being responsible for an adult.
I was brought up with a strong work ethic, also. I do care where the money comes from, and while I'm not a big fan of the way jobs are structured in this society-I personally support a meritocracy based on a skill and ability that a person can demonstrate, rather than capitalism and money making fueled by supposed efficency by sacrificing personal health and happiness among other needs; I also dislike being dependent on the state and all the personal information and tasks one needs to perform to get a pittance, in my opinion, from the U.S. government. I'd rather work, but I'm not in the position to right now, and my past experiences haven't been successful for various reasons-overstimulation, boredom, authority issues, sensory stuff, depression, or just not making enough money even with the job to afford essential things.
I also currently live in a semi-rural area with no public transportation. And I don't drive, and it is unclear whether I'll be able to, so I am also dependent on my mother for transportation. And her car is older and sometimes needs repairs that we don't have money for, effectively leaving me stranded and I couldn't get to a job anyway. Jobs are also spread out within a multi-county/city area because it's rural, so I would need a car to get a decent job anyway.
I didn't finish college, just did a year before everything started to totally fall apart, so I don't have a degree to get me higher paying jobs, when I have been in the position of applying for jobs. I usually interview well, mainly because I can remember what I did on past jobs in detail and describe it well on a resume', but I have trouble sustaining momentum working. And I've mainly worked in retail/sales environments, which I find too stressful-noise, customers expectations, bosses breathing down your neck, etc, not to mention trying to navigate the social rules-small talk, office politics, which I don't play into, because I don't understand the point of it.
My main passion/special interest is my art. I also love animals. And very specific things like pinball and racing video games and legos. And I have to keep myself from daydreaming when working, and focused on what to me, is a mundane job. But living with my mother has been so stressful, more stressful than some jobs in some ways, that I think I would prefer a boring job, even one that I was disinterested in than to live at home. My main issue now, is how to get to and from work and other necessary places-stores, post office, doctors, etc. And I can't get an apartment without a job, and a job without a place to live, and none of that without transportation-so there lies the catch-22.
I've stayed with "friends" in the past, but I guess I didn't understand the social rules of friendship even with those friends who I thought were more like myself, and I have exhausted the couches I can sleep on, essentially. I hate my living situation, and the intermittent threats of homelessness from my mother. I also fear losing all the art I've done, because I've lost my portfolio of works twice-once due to Hurricane Katrina-which is one reason why I can't go back to New Orleans, once due to theft/damage by my ex-partner and some of it is in storage 700 miles away, but I have no way to get some of my belongings back from Dallas to Florida-it's in an aquaintance's storage, but I don't know if she'll store it indefinitely.
I think it does matter where the money comes from. Money may not solve everything, but if one has at least a little sense with it, it can buy autonomy. When one is dependent on another person or the state, one is at the mercy of their whims. I don't feel the need to be rich, but I do desire self-sufficiency. And hope to attain it again in the future. I also think that if one is dependent on someone else, how that other person treats you makes a huge difference in how one views being dependent. I also echo other people's views that views on dependency are often culturally determined.
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Have Diagnosis: ADHD, PTSD, and Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Motor Apraxia. Now in process of additional diagnoses-Developmental Disability, unspecified by Neurologist, awaiting Neuro-Psych Testing, and possible seizure disorder. |
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dossa
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 25, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 307
Location: Wonderland, Alice...
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:37 am Post subject: |
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I am dependent on my husband. There are times when it does bother me... like when we do not have enough money for him to be able to get something he wants. He work his butt off and I feel bad when I know he would love a motorcycle and that we will likely not ever be able to get him one. Things like that make me wish I did contribute to the household where money is concerned. But beyond that, no... I was raised in a family where one person worked (the one who could earn the most money... did not matter if the person was male or female) and the other person stayed home to raise the kids and tend to the house. It was drilled into my head that daycare was the worst thing for your kids, that no one can raise them properly but parents. It is common in my extended family for grown children (who have children) to live with their parents. Communal living is not uncommon in my family. When my mom was born she lived in her grandmother' house along with about fifteen other people. I did work for awhile after my kids were born to pay off debt, but it wore me down and destroyed me as a person. My kids also took to acting out and reacted horribly to my absence. I do not mind my husband taking care of us like he does. I take care of him as well, just in different ways. I always thought family was supposed to take care of family. I see nothing wrong with that at all.
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