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Peko
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 710
Location: Eastern PA, USA
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 Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 11:45 pm Post subject: I don't want to go home! |
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 (is my response to going home for thanksgiving break (I'm in the US). I'm in my first semester at college and I love it! But going home for break means I'll be dealing w/ crap I get to avoid here (all revolving around family gatherings).
1. Crowds: my family's to big for me & almost all of them live w/ in a half mile radius of eachother  (I hate it); I don't get why gatherings (monthly) & holidays are such a big deal since we cannot avoid eachother (though I can at school  ) & many relatives work in my school district (nightmare much... (internal screaming))
2. This year I'm eating w/ my aunt, uncle & her kids rather than just thanksgiving dinner w/ my parents & sibs (gonna be awkward...)
3. Gossip: SHUT UP!  (reasoning)
a. Know one in my family (including me) can carry a conversation
b. the air is always very tense if you get my drift
c. conversations are usually gossip about people who work in my district & sick comments by my g-mom about the life skills kids she works w/... really bad
ex. 1: her asking my mother & I why a kid in her class was touching himself... (Look at my "Why I wanted to slap my g-mom in a chinese restaurant" for details)/this one occurred while eating out not w/ the whole family; she asked this b/c the kid is autistic like me (Like I'm the authority on all cases of autism 
2. Her comments & gestures comparing one of her female mute black students to a gorilla... (I wanna puke & freakin' weep & killl something! )
This is why I would really like to hurt her as bad as it sounds... but my mom says I cannot discuss this stuff or tell anyone b/c of "family loyalty" (I say "**** family loyalty in this case" ).
How am I supposed to react to this ****?! I feel like I'm gonna lose it...
p.s. very few things make me cry, but this crap, my sensory issues being pushed & laughing at nervous breakdowns makes me wanna freakin' die! I think I need help...
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sinsboldly
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 14256
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:31 am Post subject: |
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my first thought was 'why should you have any different Thanksgiving than anyone else going home to family?'
well, that was my only thought, actually. Sorry. |
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visagrunt
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 42
Posts: 595
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 2:31 am Post subject: |
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Well, there is always the option of saying, "No. I have too much schoolwork to do."
Doesn't provide you any cover at Christmas, but at least it delays the inevitable.
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Peko
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 710
Location: Eastern PA, USA
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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| visagrunt wrote: | Well, there is always the option of saying, "No. I have too much schoolwork to do."
Doesn't provide you any cover at Christmas, but at least it delays the inevitable. |
I can't do that b/c the campus is closing 'til break ends... what I really need are responses to my g-mom talking...
_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to. |
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Zeek
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Age: 14
Posts: 232
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:39 pm Post subject: |
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Here's a hint, DON'T GO. If it's that bad just stay at college and leave them, say your sick or something or just tell them the truth.
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superboyian
Dynasty Warriors Kid!!
Joined: Sep 10, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 9211
Location: London
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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I would normally go and get the meeting done with and I hate crowds myself and basically me doing that so I could get used to all the crowds which is slowly working in progress which im not scared as much as i used to where I would just literally freak out or hide.
Can I ask? Isit optional to go there? If it is, then just say that you got too much coursework to do and got alot on your mind, it sometimes works for me.
What I would of done if that was me is I would of pretended I got on with them just fine and nothing bothers me, try think of it like that in other words. (Yh that would be pretty hard but at the same time its like a challenge that I would learn myself).
I scream in my pillow if I do ever get so frustrated or punch the pillows without anyone looking, thats apparently how I express my anger but I don't bother tell anyone about it as i feel nobody really understands how i feel about myself.
Have you tried talking to the one you have issues with about this? It might help? Depending on what shes like basically?
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Peko
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 710
Location: Eastern PA, USA
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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To those who advised me to just not go its not an option b/c my campus closes over thanksgiving break (all students have to leave the property period) & unfortunately almost my entire family lives within half a mile of each other/my parents' house (& I've got a good chunck of them on one block ). I don't know how to talk to my g-mom (the main issue) b/c she never listens (alternates btwn calling me stupid & treating me like the miracle worker ) & is a total racist (I've gotta hide that I'm friends w/ jews & stuff...). I am not ashamed of having jewish friends but my g-mom is so awful that I cannot stand hearing her lectures/yelling... plus I don't want to put my friends through unnecessary grief (bad enough I've gotta tell them this stuff as a warning in case a relative ever shows up on campus/never plan to introduce friends to family...)
_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to. |
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HH
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 29, 2009
Posts: 330
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| Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 10:48 am Post subject: |
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You may have already tried this, but ask if you can apply for an exception to being allowed to stay on campus. Some campuses do have loopholes, but you have to go hunting for them.
Any chance you can haunt libraries while you're at home? Claim to be studying. |
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