fragaria
Blue Jay
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 77
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 Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:44 am Post subject: You look angry! |
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People always assume that I'm angry but I'm not and it makes me sad.
How can I learn to make a normal, happy face? I cannot wear sunglasses all the time. |
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arielhawksquill
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 29, 2008
Posts: 1020
Location: Midwest
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| Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:58 am Post subject: |
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It is hard for some on the spectrum to control their facial muscles, or to have them accurately express their feelings. You could tell people something like, "I'm not mad, my face just goes this way."
If they think you look mad because you are furrowing your brow or drawing your eyebrows together, you could get Botox injections in your forehead. If it's because you never smile, there's no quick fix for it other than forcing yourself to smile consciously until it becomes an ingrained habit. |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 7577
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
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| Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:14 am Post subject: |
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I hate it when people say that to me. I have answered, "Really?" and then not said anything more. Why do people think that they have the right to control what expression you wear on your own face?  It's a bad as some random stranger saying, "Cheer up! Things will get better." 
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner |
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Rhiannon0828
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Age: 44
Posts: 434
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| Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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I think that people do this sometimes as a way of offering you a chance to discuss your feelings. Some people really do hate to see others in distress and will try to help if they can.
I think the comments about "you look (angry,sad, depressed, etc.) " are annoying, but I try to give the person the benefit of the doubt and acknowledge their attempt to be helpful. We should do everything we can to encourage good behavior from NTs!  |
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sgrannel
Just Vic
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 2100
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| Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, I get that response from people a lot. I don't know why.
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A boy and his dog can go walking
A boy and his dog sometimes talk to each other
A boy and a dog can be happy sitting down in the woods on a log
But a dog knows his boy can go wrong |
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mb1984
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 05, 2011
Posts: 432
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| Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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I get that quite a bit as well. I usually say "I was probably thinking or concentrating. My face looks mad when I do." Then it helps get people off my case as well, if they don't want to interrupt me if they figure I am concentrating on something.
_________________
AQ Score: 44/50 Aspie Quiz: 175/200-Aspie 31/200-NT
Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Shebakoby
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 06, 2009
Age: 40
Posts: 1566
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| Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:41 am Post subject: |
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| smiling ugh, that hurts my face. |
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Melpomene
Raven
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| Yeah, just tell them it's your thinking face. You can't be perpetually smiley all the time. |
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LadySera
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:49 am Post subject: |
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| Yep, I often look angry. Usually I'm just blank or confused though. Then if someone says something about my face I do get angry,lol. I must be getting old as I rarely get that "You're a pretty girl, you should smile" comment from extremely old men like I used to. |
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whatamess
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 830
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| Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 1:16 am Post subject: |
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All the time. I give up. I just stay home as much as possible.  |
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LemonPieForAPirate
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 55
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| Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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| you dont have to smile to please their needs and requirements. you should smile when you feel you want to, and it means something to you. |
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mntn13
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Posts: 1006
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| Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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It's o.k. to have one's face however one wants. I have to tell myself it is o.k. to be me every single time I open the door to go anywhere. And then, on the way there, and then while I am there - if I can remember to do so at that point.
(Here, I was going to insert all the different smilies I have but thought better of it).
Once in high school, one of my peers told me on the bus that I could hold the most blank, unfathomable expression that he had ever seen. Fine with me. |
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DataJinx
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 25, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 224
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| Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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I remember when I was in elementary school and kids thought I was glaring at them when I just thinking.
And I've been told that I look mad when I'm just walking with what I thought was a blank look on my face.
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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying. -Oscar Wilde
Doctor Who? XLII |
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LemonPieForAPirate
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 55
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| Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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| DataJinx wrote: | I remember when I was in elementary school and kids thought I was glaring at them when I just thinking.
And I've been told that I look mad when I'm just walking with what I thought was a blank look on my face. |
I know exactly how you feel....people say that to me too all the time, and why am i so miserable and bitter looking when im just away with the goblins |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 7577
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
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| Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Perhaps we could reply, "Well, come to think of it..." 
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner |
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