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Eilidh
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 24, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 30
Location: In my own wee world
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 Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:38 am Post subject: Parent Issues.... |
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Does anyone else here ever made by their parent to feel like their a burdan or annoyance to them?
I try not to yell when I get yelled at because my sissy says it makes it worse, but hot do you just take and take and take and take without exploding? It just seems pointless sometimes to even say anything because my mother never listens... When I try to explain my side of things *on the RARE chance she asks me to,* she just says I'm saying stuff or whatever. If I forget to do something like the put the laundry into the dryer, she yells and says that if I can remember all the types of dragons on pern than I can remember to put the washing into the dryer... It's frustrating!
Sorry for the rant...
I'm just wishing there was a way to get through to her that my purpose in life isn't to make her angry...
~Eilidh
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The wheels keep turning
The road stretches north and south
The wheels keep moving
Like the globe they keep turning around
Runrig: An Cuibhle Mor English Translation |
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Zsazsa
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 20, 2007
Posts: 973
Location: Upstate New York, USA
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:16 pm Post subject: Re: Parent Issues.... |
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| Eilidh wrote: |
I'm just wishing there was a way to get through to her that my purpose in life isn't to make her angry...
~Eilidh |
Have you expressed these exact words to your mother?
It is not easy living with such parents at times but, all you can do is try to discuss things with your mom and speak in a calm, "normal" voice. Furthermore, use "I"statements. Like, "Mom, it upsets me when you yell at me" or Mom, I am sorry that I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer. |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them to |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them to have |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them to have me, you k |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Yup. Always. They complain that I'm controlling their lives, that I embarras them a lot. Well, I never asked them |
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Eilidh
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 24, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 30
Location: In my own wee world
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:00 am Post subject: Re: Parent Issues.... |
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| Zsazsa wrote: | | Eilidh wrote: |
I'm just wishing there was a way to get through to her that my purpose in life isn't to make her angry...
~Eilidh |
Have you expressed these exact words to your mother?
It is not easy living with such parents at times but, all you can do is try to discuss things with your mom and speak in a calm, "normal" voice. Furthermore, use "I"statements. Like, "Mom, it upsets me when you yell at me" or Mom, I am sorry that I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer. |
I've tried that more than once, but she always says the same thing. "I wouldn't be yeling if you did what I asked you too, and didn't come up with excuses." or I get the, "If you can memorize all the operating systems of you computers and braille notetakers, you can remember to put the clothes in the dryer."
I try not to yell at people when I'm upset because then I just get yelled at even more, of course my version of "yelling" is speaking in a normal voice to others, because it REALLY SCARES me, but anyway, what do you do when you've tried everything. the things the counselor says don't seem to work on her... I can't wait for January!
~E
_________________
The wheels keep turning
The road stretches north and south
The wheels keep moving
Like the globe they keep turning around
Runrig: An Cuibhle Mor English Translation |
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persian85033
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 253
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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Really? I've never been able to express much to my parents because I'm terrified they'll yell at me or something! My mom's like, 'well, say what you're going to say. Come on, as if you were afraid of me.' stuff like that. The truth is, I AM afraid, but of her words.
Yes, I get that all the time! If I can memorize so many books, and cartoon episodes, I can't memorize something useful. Well, if I forget to do something, I'm sorry, but believe it or not, I really do forget.
What I'd like is for my parents to go to counseling with me, and mostly, learn about AS. Because they won't listen to me. And nothing I do works on them. |
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Zeek
Raven
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Posts: 121
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:07 pm Post subject: Yes |
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I get told off for forgetting to get Nana a drink so something. I say once I do this and by the time I do it I forget and get in trouble. Same with showers. My grandparents (whom I live with) don't believe I have AS, just regular autism which is actually worse. They know nothing about it either. I'm more of a piggy in the middle though, Nana and Grandad fight and I just want to retreat to my room but I want to continue what I'm doing on the computer. So they tell each other and me off and I just take the sh**. My reccomendation, ear plugs or an MP3 type thing. Listen to some music and calm yourself down. Music helps me anyway and I know not hearing it would help alot.
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A quote from Theordor Seuss Geisel
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter." |
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willmark
Velociraptor
Joined: May 14, 2009
Age: 59
Posts: 407
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| Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:25 pm Post subject: Re: Parent Issues.... |
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| Eilidh wrote: | I've tried that more than once, but she always says the same thing. "I wouldn't be yeling if you did what I asked you too, and didn't come up with excuses." or I get the, "If you can memorize all the operating systems of you computers and braille notetakers, you can remember to put the clothes in the dryer."
I try not to yell at people when I'm upset because then I just get yelled at even more, of course my version of "yelling" is speaking in a normal voice to others, because it REALLY SCARES me, but anyway, what do you do when you've tried everything. the things the counselor says don't seem to work on her. |
Is there not a practical solution to this? I understand forgetting to complete tasks. I stumble upon evidence all the time, of things that I started, and forgot to finish, because I got distracted. so I add things to my routines to double check myself. Rather than getting frustrated, try to find a way to work around your short comings. Can you put something on your desk, or in your braille writer that will remind you to go check the washer. Have you tried setting a timer? It is really strange, but for me, if I put something in the oven, and walk away and do something else while I am waiting for it to cook, I will forget about it and burn it to a crisp. However if I set a timer to go off when the food needs to be pulled out, the thought will just pop into my mind that I have food in the oven just before the alarm is about to go off. For me it works without failure. You might try that. When you put clothes in the washer, set a timer and take it with you to where you will be working or whatever, and see if you remember it by yourself; and if you don't you will likely recall it when the timer goes off. Just try it. |
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Zeek
Raven
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Posts: 121
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| Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:32 pm Post subject: Re: Parent Issues.... |
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| willmark wrote: |
Is there not a practical solution to this? I understand forgetting to complete tasks. I stumble upon evidence all the time, of things that I started, and forgot to finish, because I got distracted. so I add things to my routines to double check myself. Rather than getting frustrated, try to find a way to work around your short comings. Can you put something on your desk, or in your braille writer that will remind you to go check the washer. Have you tried setting a timer? It is really strange, but for me, if I put something in the oven, and walk away and do something else while I am waiting for it to cook, I will forget about it and burn it to a crisp. However if I set a timer to go off when the food needs to be pulled out, the thought will just pop into my mind that I have food in the oven just before the alarm is about to go off. For me it works without failure. You might try that. When you put clothes in the washer, set a timer and take it with you to where you will be working or whatever, and see if you remember it by yourself; and if you don't you will likely recall it when the timer goes off. Just try it. |
Just like to point out that is a good idea. It works for me (I don't do it all the time but still). If I go to sleep with the alarm on I always wake up a few minutes before it goes off so remembering before it goes off really does work. Nice one willmark
_________________
A quote from Theordor Seuss Geisel
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter." |
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Volcanic
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 10, 2009
Age: 11
Posts: 70
Location: Somewere...but WHERE?!?!
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| Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:39 pm Post subject: |
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i know what thats like. i hate my parents. there control freaks. and my dad always says stuff that he KNOWS will get me mad. Hes always trying to pick a fight with me. we fight almost every day and both of my parents ignore me and act like im not around almost all of the time, and they wonder why i hate them so much...  |
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lolcatsrule_123
Butterfly
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Age: 12
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:46 am Post subject: |
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my mum says im a ''hermit'' and i need to go outside with my friends and go shopping because my life is made up of school, then home. i don't see a problem because i run around at school, and do P.E 3 times a week for 50mins. plus i go out for lunch most days but usually by myself, i have 3 friends, but that's ok, she also says i overreact and took me to my doctor  |
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