Answering the door or telephone - General Autism Discussion

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Answering the door or telephone

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Joe90
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8237
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:28 am Post subject: Answering the door or telephone

Anyone have trouble with this? I am OK at answering the door if we got guests coming, but when there's an unexpected knock, I always fear answering the door, and tend to cower away. I just get self-conscious, it goes with answering the phone too. It's because it might be about something what I don't know about, and my mind suddenly goes all blank and I don't know what to say, and then I feel embarrassed in case they think I'm stupid, so I think it's just easier to stop answering the door or the phone all together. Often the phone has rang, and I thought it would be a friend or a relative, so I jumped up to answer it and it's some sort of foreign person asking for someone else that lives here, and I never know if they are just salesmen or if they really want something, so I have to say, ''hold on a minute'' and get the person they are asking for. It's worse at the door because once somebody knocked and I answered it, and a big black man was standing there, carrying a pile of newspapers. He was very jolly and said, ''I will just leave these here for you, is that OK?'' I frowned and didn't know what he was on about, and my mind went all blank. I was hoping somebody else would hear and come to the door to sort him out, but nobody did, so I had to say, ''hang on a moment'', and get my dad. He came to the door and started yelling, ''hi ya, mate, good to see you!'' and he then stepped outside and closed the front door and I heard all this friendly chatter. I just wished my dad had answered the door in the first place. Anyway, enough with me ranting on - does anyone else here have trouble answering the door or the telephone? _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

ktbug
Butterfly

Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Posts: 17

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:32 am Post subject:

I have problems answering the door and the telephone. I won't do it unless I am expecting someone, and then I check to make sure it's that person. I have caller ID on my telephone and most of the time let the call go to the voicemail. Strangely, I'm okay at work with the phone. I can handle business calls because I know what I'm doing at work and do it very well. Even then, I'm not good at small talk or chitchat, it's strictly business.

glasstoria
Velociraptor

Joined: Jul 03, 2011
Posts: 454
Location: Missouri USA

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:40 am Post subject:

I tend to avoid both. Ive missed getting a package I wanted because I forgot it was coming and didn't answer the door. Ooops! My initial reaction to an unexpected person at the door or phone call is panic. That is why I rarely talk to anyone on the phone, they know it is better to text me. Sometimes even when I am expecting and looking forward to a call I have a hard time saying hello initially. it makes me feel stupid because I know what to say, I just have a hard time getting it out and getting going speaking. I also have anxiety about voicemail and if I dont make myself check it right away I will avoid checking it and leave it forever. _________________ Your Aspie score: 165 of 200 Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200 EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer

johnsmcjohn
ad hominem
Phoenix

Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 1213
Location: Las Vegas

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:42 am Post subject:

I only answer my phone when I know who the caller is, and I never answer the door since no one I want to interact with knows where I live. So anyone knocking is either trying to sell me something or they want to convert me to their religion.

MusicIsLife2Me
Deinonychus

Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 380
Location: In a musical wonderland ♬ ♭ ♫ ♩

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:42 am Post subject:

Well I don't mind answering the door or phone for a jahovah's witness or a telemarketer. They are fun to mess with -evil laugh- but any other time yes I have trouble a bit. _________________ Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

CrazyCatLord
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 2177

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:44 am Post subject:

I only answer the door when I expect a delivery, and I usually don't answer the phone at all. I rarely ever get a phone call anyway. The few times I've picked it up because I thought it might be something important, it was a phone survey. "I would like to ask you some questions for a" click.

MissQ
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: Jan 25, 2012
Posts: 46

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:49 am Post subject:

I have to meet & greet and answer the phone at work and I deal with it even though it's an effort. When I'm home, it's different. I usually let the machine pick up the call - depends on my proximity to the phone. I won't let it ring if it's within arms reach. Same thing with visitors at the door. Most of the time I "hide".

Doubutsu
Raven
Raven

Joined: Jan 20, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 115

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:57 pm Post subject:

I only answer the phone if I'm waiting for the call or my parents ask me to do it (and I use to bring them the phone without answering), fortunately my little sister use to answer it for me. Sometimes when I answer it without being ask to they say "why did you answer?" so I don't know when it's ok to answer it. I also don't like to lie saying "I don't know if she/he is here, let me check". But the worst thing is when my mother is watching me and telling me what to say. I don't use to answer the door either, if I do I only say "WAIT!" if my parents are going to answer it or "I'M COMING!" if it's a friend and I'm going to open the door. Once I was alone at home and my father forgot his keys, I didn't answer the phone or the door , fortunately after some minutes I decided to look through the window. _________________ I'm not a native english speaker, please correct me if I write like a robot or something, so I can improve.

ECJ
Deinonychus

Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 338

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:34 pm Post subject:

I won't answer the phone or door unless I know who it is, and even then I don't always know what to say. I much prefer text or email communication.

goodwitchy
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Dec 29, 2011
Posts: 785
Location: Interplanetary

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:29 pm Post subject:

I never answer the door or telephone...lol....I don't even answer my own mobile phone most of the time, and I'm really bad about listening to my voicemail messages. Many times they just expire before I even listen. (I am so bad!) Sometimes I try to peek through the blinds from another room to see who's at the door. Even when we have an expected guest coming over, I let my husband answer the door. I am forced to answer the phone at work, but I have less of a problem with this because I don't get personal calls at work. I can deal with work related questions and conversation - strictly business is perfectly okay with me. I guess that's common for Asperger's people? _________________ Aspie score: 161 of 200 Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200 Autistic/BAP -123 aloof, 124 rigid and 108 pragmatic Autism Spectrum quotient: 41, Empathy Quotient: 19

the_curmudge
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Age: 62
Posts: 612
Location: Florida

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:14 pm Post subject:

This is all very familiar. I used to be terrified of answering either, but that's mellowed to perplexity. I can't understand why people think they can interrupt me without an apointment. I only answer the phone when a call is expected but I do answer the door in order to run any unauthorized person off the property as quickly as possible.

btbnnyr
Rabbit In Cat's Clothing
Phoenix

Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 3111
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:25 pm Post subject:

I don't answer the door or the phone. I only answer my cell phone, only when I know who it is, and my number is only known to a few people.

MrMagpie
Raven
Raven

Joined: Jan 26, 2011
Age: 25
Posts: 107
Location: Findlay, Ohio

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:29 pm Post subject:

Like many of you, my initial reaction to someone being at the door or calling on the phone unexpectedly is to panic and withdraw into whatever I'm doing. I too have missed a package before because, between answering the door and not answering the door, I always choose not answering it.