DJFester
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 06, 2009
Posts: 1025
Location: Minneapolis MN USA
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 Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:40 am Post subject: |
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I don't particularly enjoy arguing, and will usually try to avoid conflict as much as possible, unless I'm being personally attacked, bullied, wrongly accused or treated unfairly in some way. Then the sparks will fly.
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8425
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:59 am Post subject: |
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I only argue a lot with my mum, and I used to argue a lot with my cousins. Otherwise, I fear conflict, so I argue less when I'm with my friends. I tend to keep quiet and let them win.
It might be an Autistic trait, depending on the context. I usually find myself bickering with my mum over something trivial, and also in inappropriate places, like we'd walk along the street moaning and bickering over something really stupid, and it's so frequent that it's unbelievable.
Otherwise, it's not like NTs never argue with eachother.
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biribiri20
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 23, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 131
Location: New York
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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Yes. I have a tendency of trying to correct people when they're wrong about something and apparently they don't like it. Now I try to stay quiet when there's something I disagree with but then someone will tell me to speak up in a certain situation and when I do, they will get angry if it turns out I disagree with them. I hate it when people expect you to side with them just because you're their friend or family member or something.
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I like making friends! Even if I'm not the best at it ^^;
Diagnosis: ADHD-PI, suspected AS
Your Aspie Score: 142 of 200, Your NT Score: 74 of 200, You are very likely an Aspie
AQ: 38/EQ: 16/SQ: 52
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StarTrekker
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 542
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:41 am Post subject: |
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Both my parents say I'm very "argumentative" because I'll bring up counterpoint after counterpoint about ideas they're trying to get across. I don't mean to argue with them, just correct my misunderstandings and their misinterpretations of what they're saying. My mother has a tendency to embellish the stories she tells, so that parts of them are outright lies. I don't think she means to, she just gets carried away and ends up believing what she's saying herself. She gets very frustrated with me when I contradict her and try to remind her of what really happened. Apparently that counts as "arguing." My dad used to get frustrated with me all the time because whenever he brought up something I didn't agree with (because I have a hard time seeing someone else's side of things) I'd say "That doesn't make any sense." I've since learned to phrase my confusion in a less confrontational way, but he still likes to tease me using that line, because apparently once the frustration wore off, there was humour to be found in it... I've been told I see things in very black and white ways, and apparently my inability to see the tinges of grey makes me "rigid" and "argumentative," but you have to know me well to see it, because confrontation with strangers and acquaintances makes me extremely uncomfortable; I don't even like to witness it, which is why I steer clear of reality TV (that's another thing about NT's I don't understand; why do they enjoy watching other people argue with each other?)
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HammorHorror
Prepare for unforeseen consequences
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 18
Posts: 2856
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:13 am Post subject: |
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I try to avoid it as much as possible, but sometimes i can't help it.
When i was bullied at school, i would say nothing if verbally attacked, it would just be internalized and added to my rage.
As i have got older, if someone says something offensive to me, i will explode.
As for tittle-tattle arguments i enjoy correcting stupid people when they get something wrong, it used to make me rage until they understood something, but now it just amuses me how Nt's will insist they are right when really they are just making themselves look stupid.
I can recall an incident last summer with my dad. He was watching a documentary about the end of the Space Shuttle Program and the final STS mission, and he was telling me about his memories of Apollo 11. When the program finished he said how he thought it was a great loss that the Space Shuttle Program had finished, but that he was glad we were still going to the moon. I sat there stunned, thinking he was joking at first, but i questioned him on it and he was adamant we were still exploring the moon. I asked him if he had ever heard of Gene Cernan or Apollo 17..... Nope.
There's no point in arguing with a mind such as that.
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pensieve
President of Gallifrey
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 7452
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:47 am Post subject: |
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I think my arguing is more from my ADHD/ODD. I get into moods where I'll disagree with anything, even if I would normally agree. I get in such a passionate rage over it and then maybe a hour later, after wasting all that time arguing, I'd just stop.
No one is always right and it's arrogant to think that you are. Yes, we are very black and white thinking but it's good to learn that people are not just simply smart and stupid. When you really begin to analyse the word, what is stupid anyway? Lacking intelligence, yet if you ever called someone with an intellectual disability stupid you'd be the biggest monster in the world. NT's aren't stupid. NTs can think and learn and problem solve, so not stupid. They might lack knowledge in some areas like you lack knowledge in some areas. Everyone is so sure of some things they know that you can't convince them otherwise, even people here saying they're always right. Information updates and there's such a wealth of information out there you will never know everything. My poor memory makes me humble, makes me think before correcting because I could be wrong.
I don't know everything but I know some things. I get stuck in a loop of thinking what I know is right but I'm not always sure if I am. I think it's better to just let people believe that they're right anyway. Less conflicts that way. It's easier said than done though. I'm not always this calm and rational.
Think of all the facts you know. Where did that information come from and just how long was it? What were the sources? Some of the information for me could be a sentence long, or from a very long research journal. And there are people out there that release books with an agenda, make documentaries to trick you into believing. I question everything now but still believe some of it. It's interesting what one chooses to believe.
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5994
Location: Los Altos, California, United States
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Litigious wrote: | You argue alot because:
1. Aspies won't buy the "truths" NTs do.
2. NTs disagree with you for not being as stupid and narrowminded as they are. |
This is what causes me to argue the most ESPESSSIALY........NUMBER 2 !!!!!!!! 
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slave
Always stuck between 13-38Hz and tired of it.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 100
Posts: 1343
Location: Dystopia Planetia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Litigious wrote: | You argue alot because:
1. Aspies won't buy the "truths" NTs do.
2. NTs disagree with you for not being as stupid and narrowminded as they are. |
Agreed.
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RLgnome
Raven
Joined: Jul 26, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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Arguing in the sense of conflict, no. I'm conflict shy, and get depressed from it. I argue more with my parents, though, since I'm not as good at hiding my temperament at home.
I love debates, though, particularly heated ones where no one takes offense. I tend to disagree with everyone, probably because of my thought patterns. I also take up positions no one else holds, just to bring more opinions into the debate, even if I don't have that opinion myself.
Oh, and I don't see everything in black and white, like people often accuse me of in real life. I can see a huge amount of shades of grey  |
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