Venerab1e1
Toucan
Joined: Mar 07, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA
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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:25 pm Post subject: Do you try to avoid confrontation? |
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| It seems like I always go out of my way to avoid confrontations. For example, if I get shortchanged while buying something I wouldn't even go back to get the rest of my money because I have such a lack of desire to deal with problems that I would just accept getting shortchanged. Anybody else like this? |
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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I avoid conflict. Which only makes it worse.
But I also avoid confrontations with official institutions....
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"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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Tuttle
Not a bird, a turtle.
Joined: Mar 27, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 2594
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I have a rather huge fear of being a burden on others or hurting others. I don't want to make others go out of the way the slightest bit for me. |
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Aimless
innocent bystander
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 8159
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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If it was a wrong change situation I would tell them politely but that wasn't always so. In social situations I am very confrontation avoidant, thus people take advantage of me.
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Detach ed |
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kg4fxg
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 168
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:35 pm Post subject: Confrontation |
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| I hate it. And avoid it at all possible costs. |
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jetbuilder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 744
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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I avoid it like the plague!
I usually give in or compromise before it turns into an argument. Otherwise I get really worked up to the point I can barely speak coherently (I start stuttering) and and just shut down.
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Tuttle wrote: | | I have a rather huge fear of being a burden on others or hurting others. I don't want to make others go out of the way the slightest bit for me. |
You can imagine the way I behave in my flat share. Fun times!
I am trying to work it out for myself.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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mglosenger
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 20, 2011
Age: 140
Posts: 445
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:45 pm Post subject: |
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I used to avoid confrontation as much as possible, but after feeling even worse when I realize I've been screwed (sometimes hugely), I avoid it less.
Confrontation is fun in its own way.. no matter what, I never lose  |
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Tuttle
Not a bird, a turtle.
Joined: Mar 27, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 2594
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| TheHouseholdCat wrote: | | Tuttle wrote: | | I have a rather huge fear of being a burden on others or hurting others. I don't want to make others go out of the way the slightest bit for me. |
You can imagine the way I behave in my flat share. Fun times!
I am trying to work it out for myself. |
Be careful to not have someone take advantage of you and abuse you because of this. I think this is part of what lead to me being abused by someone I shared an apartment with. |
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Frozec
Emu Egg
Joined: Mar 04, 2012
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, heck yeah. Down to the point where I don't know how much of my life was just me trying not to step on anyone's toes.
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Tuttle wrote: | | TheHouseholdCat wrote: | | Tuttle wrote: | | I have a rather huge fear of being a burden on others or hurting others. I don't want to make others go out of the way the slightest bit for me. |
You can imagine the way I behave in my flat share. Fun times!
I am trying to work it out for myself. |
Be careful to not have someone take advantage of you and abuse you because of this. I think this is part of what lead to me being abused by someone I shared an apartment with. |
Well, I could choose them because the old flatmates had moved out. They are nice people. Well, I try to be nice to them and they thankfully do the same in return. I know... abuse is something that is very common when you think you have to accomodate others.
I try to say what I think from time to time to avoid possible abuse.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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Arman_Khodaei
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 27, 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 231
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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Sadly, I avoid confrontation all the time. And, I've worked so hard on my social skills. I still get anxiety just doing downstairs to eat. I'm getting better at confrontation, but I don't see why it has to exist. It feels to me that some people are just too easy to make upset, and so I fear them lashing out at me.
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minimeg
Hummingbird
Joined: Jan 01, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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I try very hard to avoid confrontation, but it always finds a ways towards me. Therefore, leading to sensory overload and an episode of some sort. Very embarrassing!
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megymegan
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 44
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:06 am Post subject: |
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Definitely! It seems embarrassing somehow, to complain about things that are wrong (like getting incorrect change from a store) so I just take it and go. Kind of like calling someone else out on their mistake, I feel like it would embarrass me if someone did that to me so I don't want to make other people feel like that.
Witnessing lots of interactions like this in shops between other people, I don't understand how people can get so angry at other people for mistakes. It's a mistake! Don't they think of how it would make them feel?
But to answer your question more concisely, yes. I do avoid confrontation. I do not want to start an argument that can be avoided. Arguing makes me scared.
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Last edited by megymegan on Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:09 am; edited 2 times in total |
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RW665
The Revenant
Joined: Oct 25, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1181
Location: Southern California
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