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Uhura
Deinonychus
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Joined: Oct 28, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 302
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 Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:03 am Post subject: Aspie and not gifted |
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I'm sick of people assuming we all have extremely high IQs. I hate it. Why is it that even things that are my special interests are difficult to learn. I don't learn acedemic things easily. I don't pick up on anything easily, from new types of technology to pencil sharpeners or anything else without being consciously taught each skill. Others don't even have have to focus or be taught. They just pick things up easily.
I'm sick of it. I'm depressed from it. I'm sick of people thinking all we need to do is think positive. I'm not denying power of positive thinking but am sick of people thinking that that is the only answer. |
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jedaustin
Toucan
Joined: Dec 26, 2010
Age: 45
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:02 am Post subject: Re: Aspie and not gifted |
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| Uhura wrote: | I'm sick of people assuming we all have extremely high IQs. I hate it. Why is it that even things that are my special interests are difficult to learn. I don't learn acedemic things easily. I don't pick up on anything easily, from new types of technology to pencil sharpeners or anything else without being consciously taught each skill. Others don't even have have to focus or be taught. They just pick things up easily.
I'm sick of it. I'm depressed from it. I'm sick of people thinking all we need to do is think positive. I'm not denying power of positive thinking but am sick of people thinking that that is the only answer. |
People often credit me for being smarter than I really am. It does take a lot more than positive thinking. I have to learn everything the hard way and I have make a lot of mistakes. The one thing I seem to have that most 'normal' people don't is that I just keep on trying over and over and over past multiple failures until it suddenly just clicks and I get it. For example I still don't 'get' Calculus but someday I will. Sometimes I feel like Don Quixote because I've failed so many times in a row but as long as I'm still trying I don't feel like I've really failed yet (because I'm still working on it). Over time little successes add up and things do get easier in some areas.
But I'll admit when I'm beating my head against the wall on the interests I'm compelled pursue I feel way you describe but I can't give up until I figure it out. I spend a long time failing sometimes before things move forward; longer than most people can tolerate and a lot of times longer than I can logically justify. I've had some people call me a genius.. but they'd be as smart as I am (or smarter) at what I do if they spent anywhere close to as much time as I have on it.
Perhaps academic things aren't your forte at least the way they're trying to teach you and you just haven't tried enough other things enough times to figure out what your easy thing is. Don't lose hope. Keep being tenacious even if you don't feel especially intelligent. I'd be willing to bet you are good at something that you think everyone is good at but they're really not. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
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Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:13 am Post subject: |
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Uhura
Deinonychus
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:09 am Post subject: Re: Aspie and not gifted |
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People often credit me for being smarter than I really am. It does take a lot more than positive thinking. add up and things do get easier in some areas.
I agree that it takes more than positive thinking.
I've had some people call me a genius.. but they'd be as smart as I am (or smarter) at what I do if they spent anywhere close to as much time as I have on it.
You make it sounds like everyone can do anything with effort. Not true. If that were true there would be no one in wheelchairs or with any type of learning or any other type of disability.
The hard thing is that I am not in school but am trying to learn things that interest me. Life without learning is just a plateau. But life with learning means watching others pick things up easily and more quickly than I do. It means the only person who can teach you (wish there were more sign language classes in my city) brags when class switches to normal conversations in voice and sign. It means listening to him and others who are gifted brag and list things that are easy for them. So if I want to learn, I am stuck being around people who learn easily and have no clue what frustration comes with that. It means there aren't people in real life that I can talk to. It doesn't help that because of AS, I don't know how to talk to people when not asking for help. |
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jedaustin
Toucan
Joined: Dec 26, 2010
Age: 45
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:04 pm Post subject: Re: Aspie and not gifted |
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| Uhura wrote: | People often credit me for being smarter than I really am. It does take a lot more than positive thinking. add up and things do get easier in some areas.
I agree that it takes more than positive thinking.
I've had some people call me a genius.. but they'd be as smart as I am (or smarter) at what I do if they spent anywhere close to as much time as I have on it.
You make it sounds like everyone can do anything with effort. Not true. If that were true there would be no one in wheelchairs or with any type of learning or any other type of disability.
The hard thing is that I am not in school but am trying to learn things that interest me. Life without learning is just a plateau. But life with learning means watching others pick things up easily and more quickly than I do. It means the only person who can teach you (wish there were more sign language classes in my city) brags when class switches to normal conversations in voice and sign. It means listening to him and others who are gifted brag and list things that are easy for them. So if I want to learn, I am stuck being around people who learn easily and have no clue what frustration comes with that. It means there aren't people in real life that I can talk to. It doesn't help that because of AS, I don't know how to talk to people when not asking for help. |
Yes with effort (sometimes extraordinary effort) and tenacity people can accomplish just about anything. I'd feel just like you do IF I measured myself by the standards of others. I stopped comparing myself to them most of the time (it can be really discouraging to do that); I'm competing against myself always - not other people.
What you're doing (and what I used to do) is like a fish comparing itself to a turtle and feeling inferior for being unable to walk on land instead of feeling good about being a better fish than they were a month or year ago.
I've been in Toastmasters for 8 years now.. and there are people that join with with no experience that have more ability naturally than I have after earning 32 awards including Distinguished Toastmaster (the highest award) twice. If I compared myself against that standard of how I compare to other people... I'd feel horrible. But instead I look at how far I've come in that 8 years... all of the things I've done that I thought were impossible for someone like me to accomplish but I did them anyway (sometimes very poorly the first time). I keep improving a little more each award and each year. I apply that philosophy everywhere in my life. I can't be good at everything but I can make every effort to be exceptional at a few things that I choose.
Happy people in wheel chairs end up with this mindset too.
That reminds me.. I've always wanted to learn sign language. The people that I've seen that are good at it seem like they can really impart every essential nuance including tone/etc in their facial expressions and body language.. I think I'd learn a lot. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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I'm the same - I'm not clever either. I'm probably around average, or even just under average. I get annoyed when I have a rant about being lonely and the advice always is ''well focus on your special interest and you will make a good living out of it...'' because the answer is no I can't. I've tried it before, and it doesn't work.
I've always felt NTs were cleverer than me. When I first read somewhere that Aspies have high IQs, I was very surprised, and then confused. All through school I required special help and support with my work. There was actually another Aspie in my class at High School (I didn't know that until just after I left), and she was the cleverest person I had ever met. She was excellent in every subject, got A's and above A's in every exam, and always helped other kids with their work in lessons. And when the teacher's assistant wasn't there, the teacher always put her next to me so she could help me. We were like opposites, and yet we were both Aspies!
There were about 5 or 6 other people in my class with learning difficulties (but not AS), and they were all boys, and I required help at the same pace as they did, so that goes to show I had (and still have) the intelligence of a person with learning difficulties. So, basically, I was the ''thickest'' girl in my class!
That's what makes me so miserable - I am not very clever, and when you're not very clever, what else do you crave to be? Yes - social. And I'm not very social either *laughs nervously* so I am pretty much f****.
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SanityTheorist
Wandering Artist
Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Posts: 2105
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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I have an IQ of 135 and can do music well. Everything else though I'm pretty shaky.
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Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.
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jedaustin
Toucan
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Age: 45
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jedaustin
Toucan
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Age: 45
Posts: 298
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | I'm the same - I'm not clever either. I'm probably around average, or even just under average. I get annoyed when I have a rant about being lonely and the advice always is ''well focus on your special interest and you will make a good living out of it...'' because the answer is no I can't. I've tried it before, and it doesn't work.
I've always felt NTs were cleverer than me. When I first read somewhere that Aspies have high IQs, I was very surprised, and then confused. All through school I required special help and support with my work. There was actually another Aspie in my class at High School (I didn't know that until just after I left), and she was the cleverest person I had ever met. She was excellent in every subject, got A's and above A's in every exam, and always helped other kids with their work in lessons. And when the teacher's assistant wasn't there, the teacher always put her next to me so she could help me. We were like opposites, and yet we were both Aspies!
There were about 5 or 6 other people in my class with learning difficulties (but not AS), and they were all boys, and I required help at the same pace as they did, so that goes to show I had (and still have) the intelligence of a person with learning difficulties. So, basically, I was the ''thickest'' girl in my class!
That's what makes me so miserable - I am not very clever, and when you're not very clever, what else do you crave to be? Yes - social. And I'm not very social either *laughs nervously* so I am pretty much f****. |
I've never seen someone play the piano with one hand only interesting! Have you considered a slight twist to that by using a programmable keyboard instead of a regular piano? Then you could do loops, back beat, etc with the other hand and play with the other hand you're good with. Nobody cares how you make good music but they like it when they hear it. |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6339
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm definitely not the most intelligent person out there. I actually have learning disabilities when it comes to math and processing information. I tend to excel in language arts and social sciences though. My brother's gifted but he's definitely not autistic. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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| jedaustin wrote: | | Joe90 wrote: | I'm the same - I'm not clever either. I'm probably around average, or even just under average. I get annoyed when I have a rant about being lonely and the advice always is ''well focus on your special interest and you will make a good living out of it...'' because the answer is no I can't. I've tried it before, and it doesn't work.
I've always felt NTs were cleverer than me. When I first read somewhere that Aspies have high IQs, I was very surprised, and then confused. All through school I required special help and support with my work. There was actually another Aspie in my class at High School (I didn't know that until just after I left), and she was the cleverest person I had ever met. She was excellent in every subject, got A's and above A's in every exam, and always helped other kids with their work in lessons. And when the teacher's assistant wasn't there, the teacher always put her next to me so she could help me. We were like opposites, and yet we were both Aspies!
There were about 5 or 6 other people in my class with learning difficulties (but not AS), and they were all boys, and I required help at the same pace as they did, so that goes to show I had (and still have) the intelligence of a person with learning difficulties. So, basically, I was the ''thickest'' girl in my class!
That's what makes me so miserable - I am not very clever, and when you're not very clever, what else do you crave to be? Yes - social. And I'm not very social either *laughs nervously* so I am pretty much f****. |
I've never seen someone play the piano with one hand only interesting! Have you considered a slight twist to that by using a programmable keyboard instead of a regular piano? Then you could do loops, back beat, etc with the other hand and play with the other hand you're good with. Nobody cares how you make good music but they like it when they hear it. |
I do have a programmable keyboard and I use my left hand to change background beat, et cetera. I learnt how to do that since I was about 13. But that is just a hobby of mine, not a special interest exactly.
But me being good at composing songs on the piano doesn't make me a genius. It's just something I've always been able to do. And who's to say NTs don't have something they're good at? Everybody's got something they're good at and something they're bad at, which doesn't make them geniuses or dimwits. I am terrible at more things than I am good at. The piano is the only thing I'm good at, everything else I'm just average or below.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23
Last edited by Joe90 on Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:08 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Joe90
Phoenix
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Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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| lostgirl1986 wrote: | | I'm definitely not the most intelligent person out there. I actually have learning disabilities when it comes to math and processing information. I tend to excel in language arts and social sciences though. My brother's gifted but he's definitely not autistic. |
I have 3 cousins who are gifted but are definately not Autistic. One of them spends a lot of his time studying for his college exams because he wants to get top marks so he can further his career what he's interested in, the other cousin got A's in maths, english, psysics and computers at school, and the other cousin builds computers and knows every single thing about computers and lots of other electrical equipment too.
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jedaustin
Toucan
Joined: Dec 26, 2010
Age: 45
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | | I do have a programmable keyboard and I use my left hand to change background beat, et cetera. I learnt how to do that since I was about 13. But that is just a hobby of mine, not a special interest exactly. |
Long before I made any money working with computers it was just a hobby too.
Don't discount your hobby - if you love it then take it as far as you can. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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| jedaustin wrote: | | Joe90 wrote: | | I do have a programmable keyboard and I use my left hand to change background beat, et cetera. I learnt how to do that since I was about 13. But that is just a hobby of mine, not a special interest exactly. |
Long before I made any money working with computers it was just a hobby too.
Don't discount your hobby - if you love it then take it as far as you can. |
I doubt they will let me be in a recording studio. They look for people who are excellent, like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW56u_1DCYQ
Not just a general hobby, like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya4z7GiQlgQ
That is how I use the keyboard - except I can't control the keys at the left side of the keyboard with 3 fingers at once, I have to use just one finger.
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Uhura
Deinonychus
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Joined: Oct 28, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 302
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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How do you make the quotes turn white? I quoted someone in this topic and it didn't turn white.
Last edited by Uhura on Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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