angelofdarkness
Raven
Joined: Apr 17, 2012
Age: 15
Posts: 123
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 Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 7:56 am Post subject: |
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i knew i was different at age 5 but i wasnt diagnosed until age 12
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Chrysanthemum
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 27, 2012
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:39 am Post subject: |
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There wasn't one clear moment for me. I've felt different since I started pre-school at age 3. Realising I was different wasn't so much a case of 'spotting the differences' it was more about realising the differences shouldn't be there. The way I see it, when I was little the main difference between me and everyone else, was that I was me, and they were everyone else. At the age of 4 or 5 I became more aware of the fact that through other peoples eyes, I was different. I got in trouble a lot and didn't know how to play with the other kids.
When I learned more about aspergers at age 13/14, I related to parts of it, but I was still unaware of all the social mistakes and difficulties I had. After that, I was more aware of how I was different and realised I probably did have aspergers. I was diagnosed about 2 years later at age 15.
As for when I cared, I always have. I've cared more when it's caused me difficulties and more as I get older. |
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Albirea
MEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!
Joined: Mar 16, 2011
Posts: 9767
Location: Cannot be determined due to excessive knowledge of momentum
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StarTrekker
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 542
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:36 am Post subject: |
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I started noticing I was different around about second grade, when, upon moving schools, I realised how completely in-adept at making friends I was; for all of elementary school, from the age of about six to twelve I had only one friend, and he wasn't even at my school. Elementary school was definitely when I cared the most, I was lonely a lot of the time and felt stupid and awkward because I didn't know how to talk to people like the other kids did. I didn't figure out it was Aspergers until this year, at age 19, when I read about it and it became my latest obsessive interest. I was semi-diagnosed by a friend of my mom's who's a psychologist, and he told my mom, upon hearing her description of me (having never met me) that it sounded as though I had Asperger syndrome. Apparently my dad bought a book about it when I was young because he thought there was something "different" about me too, even before I realised it.
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Jayo
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 01, 2011
Posts: 515
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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From what I have read of the stories here, people definitely realized they were different in childhood. The motivation to do something about it seems to definitely increase with proper diagnosis though, i.e. knowing ASD and its symptoms can help give you a roadmap - hence the experts all agreeing that the sooner the diagnosis (and intervention) the better.
Still, it can be crushing to find out ASD at an early age, and the realization that the burden to fit in is 95% on you - kids will make few allowances to accept you as is if you tell them. Not as great as the feeling of despair from not knowing why you have these struggles that nobody else seems to have, but it's still disconcerting, I know. |
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Aqualung
Emu Egg
Joined: May 13, 2012
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 2:06 am Post subject: |
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I always knew...as long as I can remember, which is pretty early in my case. At age 3 or 4 I was dimly aware that something wasn't right when I was with other kids; I couldn't think or feel like they did. Couldn't make friends at first in school. There was just too much of a difference...my classmates seemed so weak and cruel at times, yet at the same time terrifying. I was ostracized and bullied, mostly indirectly. Teachers and my parents weren't really a help...most of my teachers liked me (which is not really a good thing in elementary school) and my parents were just the same as my classmates, my mother especially...with the exception that they held absolute power over my life. At one point, my mom caught me twisting/flapping my hands and started screaming at me about how it wasn't "right" or "normal". I was small and physically weak/clumsy for my age...had to have physical therapy and training for some motor skills/sports-related things, eventually it was pretty clear that I had neither the aptitude or the inclination for sports. This was a severe letdown for my dad, as he had been a basketball player in college and is a huge sports fan...also, this led to further ridicule and ostracism for me at school.In 3rd grade,one of my teachers, who I will not mention by name in case this hurts her reputation took me aside and said that I could skip the grade if I wanted to, but it was my decision; she wouldn't tell my parents. The class above me was even less tolerant than mine and I don't regret the choice I made. My parents and peers were hard on me anyway...gradually I stopped caring. I am immortal in my apathy. Desperate to fit in, I did stupid things for attention...at one point I realized what the problem was: I didn't know how to feel. This came to light after my grandfather's death when I was in 5th grade...he and my mom were really close, and she was in tremendous pain. I felt terrible, but couldn't articulate it. Pain, loss, hatred. Shortly after that...this is etched into my memory down to the most minute detail, my mom exploded on me and said "You don't care about anyone but yourself!". My mother's word was law.It dawned on me then, that I truly felt no love at all for fellow humans, or even myself. No one else remembers that day, or what it meant...so it goes. I tried to rectify this gap...for years I studied and watched other people interact, read psychology textbooks, philosophy, and fiction in order to get a proper understanding of "human" emotion. For me, this is all bullshit. But I found I was able to make friends shakily...I still came across as cold and shy, with a nice under layer of arrogance. Life for me is a journey in a sea of lies, with no end. I have no right to end myself, as I am needed for some purpose apparently...This is quite the wall of text here. Sorry :l
Please, please do not become me. Aspies, there is no limit to what you can do if you put your mind to it. Just do not do what I did. Pity the living, above all those who live without love. |
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PixieXW
Sea Gull
Joined: May 22, 2012
Age: 16
Posts: 232
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| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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When was I diagnosed?
I was diagnosed at five, to be honest it was kind of obvious- I could have a temper tantrum lasting an hour and a half and at three I began to teach myself how to read- in typical Aspies terms by asking my Mum why you would lick a pub- (it was a public notice)
I was also diagnosed with ADD and Tourette's at the same general age.
When I began to notice I was different?
I only really began to notice when I went to high school at twelve. I went to a small school and I was always just 'me' in my classmates eyes. I began to and still do go through times when I feel very out of place.
when I began to care?
At the end of primary school an first year I high school I went through a time when I denied I had aspergers and then at high school when I realised I was different I really began to care and it hit me really hard that I WAS different and that I would never be NT. I'm still struggling through this.
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Jennnnn
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 09, 2011
Age: 19
Posts: 29
Location: Kansas
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I started to feel different when i was 7/8, and i realized i most likely had asperger's after my younger brother was diagnosed when i was 13. I read through the symptoms online and most of them described me |
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CaliforniaSh33p
Blue Jay
Joined: May 31, 2012
Age: 14
Posts: 75
Location: (Near) Old York, Old England.
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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I got diagnosed yesterday...
I thought I was different when I was 11 and met some autistic children, went home and googled "Aspergers" and it started to sound like me... I got diagnosed yesterday. I'm 13.  It's very mild but it's becoming more and more noticeable each day. I rock in class and I thought i'd stop obsessing over disney by now. Guess what? It hasn't stopped!!! XD |
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fluffypinkyellow
Raven
Joined: Nov 26, 2010
Age: 20
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:30 am Post subject: |
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I was diagnosed at 4-5ish, but I didn't find out until 10ish. Before I knew about the autism spectrum, I definitely knew I was different. I watched other kids playing with each other like it came naturally, but it didn't come naturally for me and I didn't know why. So I definitely felt different from early school age.
I actually found out when I read a book where a character was autistic, then I asked my mum if I was autistic. |
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mathdude94
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 31, 2012
Age: 16
Posts: 34
Location: Hiding from the world in my Fortress of Solitude.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I was diagnosed at about six, but I've know I was different for as long as I can remember. |
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theoddone
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 06, 2012
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I was diagnosed in fifth grade, but I always had a feeling I was different since I started going to school. Most kids never really accepted me, and I was obsessed with human anatomy and physiology; no one my age ever really understood it. I was so desperate to be a "cool" kid, but all my attempts failed. I never really understood why I was so different, I just sort of knew before diagnosis. |
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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 353
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:40 am Post subject: |
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When did I realize that I was different? In kindergarten I noticed how lots of of other kids would play together and I mainly kept to myself but it didn't really click that I was different till I was about 5 or 6.
When I began to care? As for caring, once I hit Grade 5 I noticed how quickly the kids around me were progressing with their social skills and I just felt myself being left more and more behind. What I also started noticing was that my best friend who was even more introverted than me and hardly talked was still liked better than me by my peers, this really confused me and it has continued to up until recently when I discovered aspergers.
When was I diagnosed? Well at the moment I'm in the process of trying to get a diagnosis or see a psychology at least. I'm not totally sure I'm an Aspie. 
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Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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coolies
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 24, 2012
Posts: 197
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:06 am Post subject: |
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I realised around 4 that I wasn't like others, this was confirmed as I got older, while others did space or plants etc for their year 4 science projects I did einsteins E=MC2 as mine, or saying things I thought people wanted to hear then getting weird looks
I gave up caring for a while but since starting uni that gap i feel between myself and NT's has presented again stronger than ever |
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Question
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 09, 2012
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:18 am Post subject: |
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I realized it about a year ago >.<
It was like some kind of awakening for me when I started to wonder why I haven't had any friends for a long time. I realized that there's something wrong with me and I'm not like everyone else. I got my diagnosis last winter, 6 months ago. It's still hard for me to believe that I'm an aspie and I'm never gonna be like other people.  |
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