Bubbles137
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 18, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 461
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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:27 pm Post subject: Dentist |
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| Anyone else absolutely terrified of going to the dentist? I had to go today for the first time in three years because i had a really bad toothache that painkillers didn't do anything for, and she said I need to go back next week and have a tooth out. I'm so, so nervous, was hard enough going today and that was only for a few minutes. i hate the feeling of metal on teeth and the noise of the drill, and I really don't like people getting that close to my face (have a similar problem getting my hair cut). Today, I couldn't stop shaking and felt sick, and i'm really worried about having to go through it again for twenty minutes getting the tooth out. I also hate not knowing what's going on, and when i've had to have fillings before, they haven't said what they're doing which made me really panicky and I closed my mouth so they had to start again. Anyone else had a similar experience? |
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ChrisP
Sea Gull
Joined: Jul 18, 2011
Posts: 203
Location: La France profonde
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, yes, yes - I get exactly all of those feelings!
In a previous place I had to go, the first time in 35 years. By sheer good fortune I found that rare thing, a dentist who was afraid of dentists! He was brilliant, talking me through everything, letting me feel as in control of things as possible, taking things at a speed I could bear. Now I live in another country, so I can't go back to him..... shame.
But you are far from alone in all the feelings you describe, and my OH is exactly the same. Fortunately she can cut my hair - but I'm afraid I can't do the same for her! |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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I'm terrified, but I know that it's because of a dentist I had in childhood.
My mother and I lived with her parents when I was growing up. Not only was it chaotic because of a crazy and alcoholic grandfather, but they were all hoarders, and nobody washed, bathed, brushed teeth, etc. Therefore I wasn't taught to brush my teeth and didn't even have a toothbrush. For some reason the school wanted dental records on me so my grandmother took me to the dentist for the first time when I was 8 years old. I had 17 cavities. She told them I wouldn't brush. I told them the truth, that I didn't have a toothbrush, there was no place to brush and nobody would even buy me one. She accused me of lying in front of them and they were mean to me and hurt me when filling all 17 of them to "teach me a lesson". My grandmother and mother both said that if they had told the dentist the truth, that I would be "taken away from them", which really didn't scare me, it was sort. of intriguing and I liked the idea, but I didn't tell.
So, to this day before dental work they have to not only give me a script for an antibiotic because of my mitral valve prolapse, but they also have to give me a 10mg valium to take about an hour before I get there. Otherwise they can't work on me. One guy accused me of drug seeking by asking for that. I told him if I was drug seeking I'd sure be asking for a whole lot more than one 10mg valium, and I certainly wasn't planning on asking for pain meds after a freaking filling! If he wasn't the only one who would work with me on payments, or if I had dental insurance, I wouldn't have gone to him.
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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RazorEddie
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Age: 42
Posts: 608
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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I get really stressed about visiting the dentist. The last time I had a tooth removed I was shaking so badly the nurse commented on it. The dentist told me to lift my hand if it hurt. At one point it did hurt so I raised my hand. I was supposed to lift just my hand but instead I raised my hand like a student in class and smacked the dentist in the head 
I had a checkup today. I was shaking slightly even for that. I have to go back again in a fortnight to have a filling replaced 
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I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. |
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bettalove
Raven
Joined: Mar 16, 2012
Age: 25
Posts: 118
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I also haven't been to a dentist in years. I can't stand the noises and sensations of the whole thing. |
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Sparhawke
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 24, 2011
Age: 35
Posts: 308
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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Oh crap, I have a dental appointment around about now...
I went a short while ago and was almost bouncing off the walls...if they were still allowed I am sure the dentist would've liked the optional straitjacket and tie-downs.
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SilkySifaka
Lemur
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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I'm so glad you made this thread, I have been feeling exactly the same way. I avoid going and until very recently I hadn't been near the dentist for 5 years.
I went last week to have a filling, and it took 15 minutes for the dentist to convince me to open my mouth. I think I will have to go back and have the tooth taken out soon and I am terrified. I get all shaky when I am there and I just want to get up and run away. I cried when the dentist gave me the injection to make everything numb.
My dentist is very patient (he has a daughter with Aspergers) and he explains what he is going to do before he does it, and what it will feel like. Bubbles, could you tell your dentist that you are very nervous and ask him or her to tell you what is happening? |
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Bubbles137
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 18, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 461
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks for the replies, I'm so glad it's not just me. I felt really stupid getting so worked up, especially since my mum's reaction was "you should have gone to the dentist earlier then, it's your own fault". So nervous about getting a tooth out having it done a week on Monday... Going to ask her to explain exactly what she's going to do! |
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Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3223
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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| YES... I am terrified after my last experience. They drilled holes in my teeth that didn't even have cavities! I have to have my wisdom teeth removed this summer, and I am petrified by the thought of it. |
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Tixylix
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 30, 2012
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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Dentists now seem to be a lot more aware of how to deal with nervous patients. Dental Fear Central has recommendations for dentists who are good with phobic patients, we found our current dentist from there. I take headphones and my mp3 player or my phone with me with tight-fitting in ear headphones and play music loud to help drown out the sounds and distract me. That might not help if you need to know exactly what's happening but maybe you can get them to talk you through it in detail beforehand and the order in which things will happen. I told my dentist to tap me on the shoulder before starting something or if she needed to tell me anything so each time she tapped me on the shoulder I would pause the music and take my earphone out so she could tell me and then carry on.
I hadn't gone to the dentist for about 5 years before last year and I agreed to go because my partner had an abcess and hadn't slept in 4 days because of the pain. She was terrified of dentists because she thought she didn't respond to anaesthetic and so hadn't been for 10 years and was also terrified of needles. It turned out that her dentist when she was a child only used topical anaesthetic, which is meant for numbing the needle area before the injected stuff is used and is not meant to be used instead of it! She was shaking the whole time the first time she had a filling - then when the injected anaesthetic worked and she felt no pain at all she stopped being so scared. We told the dentist about this and she said we should report the other dentist for malpractice but apparently he's now retired. My partner said it was the same dentist her mum had always seen and he had never used anaesthetic so her mum thought that was standard practice - my mum's dentist also never used anaesthetic when she was a child so I think in the 60s/70s this was the norm. Our current dentist actually refused to do any work on her without using injected anaesthetic but her needle phobia is now almost completely gone too.
If I saw a dentist who didn't use anaesthetic or attempted to do anything without me being properly numb I would get out of the chair immediately, walk out the door and never go back - I also would not have a dentist who refused to explain anything. |
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mindmapper
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 86
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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I don't really have a fear of the dentist or any other specialist operating on my teeth. I usually don't have cavities, and the motivation for me to keep my teeth in good shape is that the drill makes this terrible high pitched sound I rather avoid 
Have to get my remaining two wisdom teeth removed somewhere this year, the others were removed years ago. It was a bit scary and hurt a little, but I trusted the specialist, which mostly keeps me from worrying about the guy breaking all my teeth and my jaw. |
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pensieve
President of Gallifrey
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 7452
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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My fear is usually change and about having to go back for surgery and fork out a lot of money. The last dentist I had it felt like he was going to pull my teeth out.
I use mouthwash now.
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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The few things that help me nowdays when I go to the dentist are of course the valium I take an hour before the appointment, and I always bring music and earphones, and I let him know in no uncertain terms that I'm extremely nervous. I tell him that if I lift up my hand, he needs to stop right then. I may just want to know whats going on, I may need a break, I may just need to cough and not want to cough in his face, but he has to stop right then. I also tell him to keep me informed, even with headphones on. If he's going to do something that may cause me pain anyway, even after the shots, he needs to touch me and get my attention if I have my eyes closed and am listening to my music. Some procedures still have a painful couple of seconds even after the shots, and I don't want to be waiting on that the entire time and tense.
It helps nowdays that i seem to be older than most of the dentists. I can get the "Mom voice" with them and they tend to comply very well. I just ask them sweetly in the "Mom voice" to do what I need, and explain that I'm very nervous. For the ones who sneer at the whole idea, I add "and I'm likely to hit you if I feel trapped and you won't comply" and just smile.
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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Kalika
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 34
Posts: 153
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Count me in as one who is terrified of going to the dentist - I had regular checkups as a child, but for whatever reason, became extremely cavity-prone as an adult. (last time I had X-rays, I was told I had 30+ cavities) Unfortunately I'll have to get over that and go soon.......have a tooth which is partially broken, and would rather not have to get it pulled. |
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Bubbles137
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 18, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 461
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:16 am Post subject: |
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| OliveOilMom wrote: | The few things that help me nowdays when I go to the dentist are of course the valium I take an hour before the appointment, and I always bring music and earphones, and I let him know in no uncertain terms that I'm extremely nervous. I tell him that if I lift up my hand, he needs to stop right then. I may just want to know whats going on, I may need a break, I may just need to cough and not want to cough in his face, but he has to stop right then. I also tell him to keep me informed, even with headphones on. If he's going to do something that may cause me pain anyway, even after the shots, he needs to touch me and get my attention if I have my eyes closed and am listening to my music. Some procedures still have a painful couple of seconds even after the shots, and I don't want to be waiting on that the entire time and tense.
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Music is a really good idea, I didn't know you were allowed to do that! I've tried earplugs before but they don't block out the sound of the drill. I'm definitely going to ask to be kept informed too, find it really panicky when I don't know what's going on. Has anyone had atooth taken out before? How do they do it? |
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