ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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 Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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Supposedly, Aspies have a penetrating, intense stare.
I've been told I do. I'm not sure what it is or if it's even a real thing.
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"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest." |
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boston123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 26, 2012
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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Lol the more I read on here the more I wonder about myself!!!
Social groups:get ignored or stay quiet. Check.
Say inappropriate things or off-topic or off timing: Check
Blank stare: All my life I've been told to cheer up cos I have a blank face so a few years ago I trained myself to smile more. Also I go blank when am mentally hyper-focused on a linear thought process in my head. And told I'm intense.
Still wondering if this is mild spectrum stuff or inherited from parent. We weren't super socialised as kids.
Funny thing is I went through some hard times and became super paranoid about talking about my problems that in feeling like I had not much to contribute I kinda shut down a lot socially...with my oldest childhood friends? They just accept me and make me feel normal, so I never even felt outcast til much later in life.
Always felt different though 
Just went back and realized this is a little off-topic. Sorry about that!! (laughs inappropriately and rebelliously does not delete post) |
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lancefilip
Emu Egg
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Joined: Mar 16, 2012
Posts: 7
Location: Woodridge, IL
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:27 pm Post subject: Since I was a toddler |
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| I can remember to my toddler years going into blank stares so much so my pupils would relax & I'd see things all blurry once I realized I was spaced out. 99% of the time I would be in intense thought, but having severe adhd combined type unmedicated, would easily go into tangential thoughts & 1% of the time my mind would just relax & I'd space out...what I called my "natural meditation." What I felt was my brain's way of trying to stop always analyzing everything all the time. After being put on stimulant medication the spacing out became less frequent & way less tangential slowly over time. I still space out & stare only now it seems more attached to when I'm analyzing my inability to emote appropriately or reciprocally to others. Since I'm a open Aspie I don't get too many remarks from coworkers or friends regarding the staring. My mother's side of the family has a lot of autistics & I seem to be the most functional. My grandmother does what a call the "pirate eye" by staring at you while squinting one eye shut. She does it when you're watching TV or eating so when I catch her doing it I'll quickly spin my head & say what are you staring at?' & for almost 20 years now she denies it every time & will say I'm "seeing things." Problem for her is the entire family agrees with me because she does it to them to, they even call it pirate eye. Once in awhile she'll stare long enough if you ignore it & say some remark or question that is kinda odd. Now that she is older & has had health problems she stares more, longer & more obviously. It is maddening to deal with but because she is older now I try hard not to be so impulsively responsive. I don't stare at people, matter of fact I have problems looking at faces in general. But she definitely passed on the autism gene down. |
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Descendant
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 05, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:13 am Post subject: |
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What's the difference between an "aspie stare" and "1000 yard stare"? I think NTs do this too.  |
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Mindsigh
Phoenix
Joined: May 30, 2012
Age: 46
Posts: 2550
Location: Ailleurs
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| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Descendant wrote: | | What's the difference between an "aspie stare" and "1000 yard stare"? I think NTs do this too. |
Maybe it's because we're blankly staring most of the time? My face goes all slack and I look very vacant and stupid. Half the people who know me think I'm extremely stupid and half think I'm some kind of genius--neither of which is true. |
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Eesti
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 13, 2012
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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Some people told me that I have a strange expression on my face. They asked me why I look at them in such a strange way. They said I look as if I'm making some plots against them. In this case I just looked at them, nothing else.
Others (at my job) said that I have an angry face when I work. When I said that I'm not angry they didn't believe. I cannot stop them from thinking that I despise my job and hate being there. I guess that I was just working and thinking about how to do things.
It really makes me confused and I don't know how to explain that I'm not making plots, and that I'm not despise them and that I'm not arrogant etc.
Does it have to do with this "aspie stare" thing or is it different? |
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Lioncash
Butterfly
Joined: Jun 14, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I had a huge problem when I first started playing drum's, I would stare intensely at either a person or wall while I was playing, it freaked the hell out of the majority of folk but I never realised I was even doing it |
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TheAmbeRaven
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 22, 2012
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I'm really not sure of whether I have Aspergers Syndrome or otherwise. However, I have traits, and I often have an intense need/desire/urge to look people in the eyes. I NEED to see them, for some reason. I get rather irritated if I can't, to be honest.
It's quite ironic, considering that I literally don't even look at people who I don't like. xD |
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VAGraduateStudent
Toucan
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 275
Location: Virginia, USA
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| Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Mindsigh wrote: | | Descendant wrote: | | What's the difference between an "aspie stare" and "1000 yard stare"? I think NTs do this too. |
Maybe it's because we're blankly staring most of the time? My face goes all slack and I look very vacant and stupid. Half the people who know me think I'm extremely stupid and half think I'm some kind of genius--neither of which is true. |
I'm not a super expert on this, but I have a BA in Sociology with a concentration in Social Psychology and I'm currently working on an MS in sociology with a concentration on the Sociology of Autism.
Mindsigh is right. It's the facial slackness, mostly. But I believe there is also a blankness to the eyes that is also there with ASD. In the "1000 yard stare"- this is seen with PTSD. Both involve a flat affect, which is a blank look. And of course you could be on the spectrum and have PTSD. But if you were NT and had PTSD you would not have the facial slackness and your eyes would be different. Like I said, I haven't studied this enough to say exactly how they're different. I think that NTs perceive that there is something terrible going on inside the head of a NT with the 1000 yard stare, but they can't tell at all what's going on inside someone on the spectrum who is looking blank, like the actress in the Dragon Tattoo that someone posted (love that movie and the nod to her being autistic- I think she's an empowering character).
It scares NTs to not be able to tell what's going on inside another person. It's not as scary when it's a girl as opposed to a guy, because society views women differently. If you think about it, it's no one's business what's going on inside you, but this is just how NTs are. We don't stop to think about it (well except me). It's all just hive mind Borg stuff that no one can help. lol |
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Julia_Set
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 23, 2012
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:39 am Post subject: Re: Aspie stare |
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| questor wrote: |
So, the Aspie stare is not really a good thing for us. If you come up with a cure for it, please post it here at WP, as I and many others here would like to have it.  |
How about extremely dark or mirrored sunglasses? Roy Orbison made it a cool trademark look, why can't we?  They can't tell you're staring if they can't see your eyes. |
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madmitch
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 25, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| now that makes a little more sense . i have been in trouble many of times for not looking at someone and just staring into nothing when in trouble, yet never realised i was doing it. i find it extremely hard to make eye contact and when i do i feel really awkward. People are always telling me to cheer up and smile yet didnt realise i wasn't! which sometimes causes me too feel anxious and socialising gets made harder. Any solutions/ cures...please let me know |
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nessa238
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 02, 2011
Age: 47
Posts: 3723
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:11 am Post subject: |
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I do this blank staring into space thing and sometimes people have asked 'are you ok?' or look perturbed if I do it mid conversation; looking away from them as I'm trying to concentrate on what I'm saying.
What I don't understand is why it's so important to other people what expression is on my face??
What's it to them? It's as if NTs think they have some kind of collective ownership of the face of everyone around them and they expect everyone else's faces to broadcast and receive emotion/information in exactly the same way and if you don't there's something 'wrong' with you or you're acting in some kind of subversive way. I don't care what expression other people want to have on their faces as long as they leave me alone and my expressions should be none of their business. Why can't people be satisfied with what's in their own and their companions' heads? - why does their curiosity have to extend to everyone in their vicinity? - it's tedious and makes me think they're empty-headed as they can't find interest within their own brains. |
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onks
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 28, 2012
Posts: 488
Location: Finland
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| Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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I think this is not typical aspie stare. This looks pretty normal to me.
The eyes look more strange |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8234
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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Often I've been told that when a person is staring blankly at me, that they are more than likely just lost in their thoughts and happen to be looking towards me, not so much because they are judging me. So I didn't think it was a signifficant Aspie trait, it should really be changed to something like ''the subconscious stare'' or something like that, because it seems a lot of people can relate. I hate catching people's eye, so when I feel I'm going to be in one place for a long time in public, I look at the ground or over in the distance, so I don't catch myself staring at somebody else.
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man-hands
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 11, 2012
Posts: 68
Location: Sonoran Desert---aaack---get me out of here!
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:31 am Post subject: |
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After reading this thread, it has dawned on me that this could be one of my social handicaps. I never even knew there was such a thing as an Aspie stare. But---in conversations with people, after about 90 seconds they begin to squirm and act uncomfortable and even start scratching themselves on the arm.They can be the ones talking, usualy, or I might talk, too. I used to think that the fact that I wasn't smiling was what made them so uncomfortable. So I would start smiling (trying to appear friendly and interested) but that never helped.
Now I guess I was giving them the "aspie" stare without realizing it. AND, at least half of people that I have been in conversations or group discussions with have avoided eye contact with me. Why? Is this a way of avoiding the aspie stare? |
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