cyberdad
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 1603
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 Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | | I'm constantly thinking I'm in the spotlight all the time, that people (whether's it's strangers or not), are thinking about me and what I'm doing, and even if they're doing other things or thinking of other things I still might be in the back of their mind. It's horrible, and I don't know why I think like this for. |
This...
As a kid I used to imagine that I must be god because the entire universe revolved around my "self" and my activities, what I say and what I do. Meanwhile the rest of the world somehow got by. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8230
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:10 am Post subject: |
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Like I said earlier in this thread, I always think that I am the spotlight in public. This morning when I popped to Tesco, I got a bottle of Lucozade and I kept thinking that everyone up the aisle are thinking, ''oh, that stupid girl is getting a Lucozade.'' Then I fancied some ''pick and mix'' sweets, but I was reluctant because I always feel like I'm being watched when I'm getting those, and I keep thinking people will think I'm a big kid. I know these thoughts are irrational, because nobody's really that bothered, but I still can't make myself believe it.
I always think people call me ''that stupid girl'' or ''that big, ugly girl''.
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From: East UK
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cyberdad
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 1603
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | Like I said earlier in this thread, I always think that I am the spotlight in public. This morning when I popped to Tesco, I got a bottle of Lucozade and I kept thinking that everyone up the aisle are thinking, ''oh, that stupid girl is getting a Lucozade.'' Then I fancied some ''pick and mix'' sweets, but I was reluctant because I always feel like I'm being watched when I'm getting those, and I keep thinking people will think I'm a big kid. I know these thoughts are irrational, because nobody's really that bothered, but I still can't make myself believe it.
I always think people call me ''that stupid girl'' or ''that big, ugly girl''. |
I think this is a form of "objectification" where the person perceives people are judging them on how they look or how they behave derived from past experience. I knew a person at school who was mildly Downs Syndrome and had a normal IQ. However he was "hyperaware" that he looked like a Downs Syndrome because at school he was called names.
Being hyperfocused because you believe people are judging you on your looks (or behavior if you stim) does have long term negative effects including body dissatisfaction, depression and of course anxiety over what people think.
Objectification can also lead to body modification like when fat people get liposuction or people get plastic surgery to cover up blemishes in their face or operations to stop tremors ect to make them more socially acceptable. |
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tjr1243
Toucan
Joined: Apr 01, 2012
Posts: 285
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | | I am hyperfocused and hypersensitive to what other's think of me, even if it's good. I can't explain how I feel about it really, it is a very illogical thing what nobody, including me, understands. I'm constantly thinking I'm in the spotlight all the time, that people (whether's it's strangers or not), are thinking about me and what I'm doing, and even if they're doing other things or thinking of other things I still might be in the back of their mind. It's horrible, and I don't know why I think like this for. |
Thank you for posting this, as you've just articulated a trouble of mine too. I realize it is illogical, but I have this strange self-consciousness - a feeling that people are watching every body movement and analyzing it, analyzing facial expressions when most likely they aren't thinking about that at all! (or at least to a far less degree than i'm hyperfocusing on) |
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nemorosa
Ranunculaceae
Joined: Aug 06, 2010
Posts: 1121
Location: Amongst the leaves.
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| No. Isn't being 'hyperfocused on what other people think of you" the normal behaviour though? |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14794
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| nemorosa wrote: | | No. Isn't being 'hyperfocused on what other people think of you" the normal behaviour though? |
I don't think its typically supposed to cause one major distress.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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Kindertotenlieder79
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 12, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 175
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| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 6:53 pm Post subject: Re: Hypersensitive to what others are thinking of one. |
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| questor wrote: | | You are not the center of everyone else's universe, so get over it and get on with your life. |
Trust me, I'm fully aware that I'm not the center of anyone's life but my own. There really is nothing to "get over" in that aspect. I don't think that people are that hyperfocused on me, but I do know that they hate me and this can be very damaging. Hatred means no friendships, potentially no work. When I do get jobs I never know when I'm going to get fired because I'm so good at pissing the alphas off. The worse thing for me to do is get involved in social situations. I hate interacting with other people. People make me so damn nervous - If I'm not annoying them, they are annoying me. It always ends the same.
What I need is a therapist, an expert in Autism really, that can teach me how to fake normal in social situations. This person is going to have their work cut out for them - I'm not even sure I can get passed that intense agitation that consumes me. My concentration is terrible too, my mind continues to decay as I get older. I really wish there was a pill to cure autism, or pro-psychotic medication. Yes, I meant that as it is written; Being a psychopath would be so much fun; My paranoia would be much worse but I'd have no feelings for people and I'd have loads of fun owning them.  |
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CaptainTrips222
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 31, 2009
Age: 31
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 2:34 am Post subject: |
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I think everyone cares.
But when you have a number of harsh, painful experiences, it figures you'd care more than most. If you have those experiences on a regular basis, it's a pretty helpless feeling, and it can become an obsession. Socializing is dangerous if it's negative. You might only be protective yourself the best way you know how. |
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Kindertotenlieder79
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 12, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 175
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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| CaptainTrips222 wrote: | I think everyone cares.
But when you have a number of harsh, painful experiences, it figures you'd care more than most. If you have those experiences on a regular basis, it's a pretty helpless feeling, and it can become an obsession. Socializing is dangerous if it's negative. You might only be protective yourself the best way you know how. |
That sums up my life experience. Attempting to protect myself from the abusers is difficult; they're everywhere - churches, workplaces, stores, basically anywhere you have people! It doesn't help that I rarely forget a slight. It's crazy, I honestly think I remember 90% of the bad things that have happened in my life. That's part of why I limit my interactions with others. If someone harms me, more than likely I will never forget it. Why couldn't I have one of those cool autistic mind where I remember long series of numbers? That would be so much more pleasant, and much more useful! |
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