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RedMage
Phoenix
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Joined: Nov 09, 2006
Posts: 6813
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 Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:34 pm Post subject: Need friends... :( |
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I need friends, but no one in real life will go near me... What's worse is, I no longer go to school so I can't make friends. Does anyone have any ideas how I can make friends in real life? I can't live alone like this any longer...
I have a few online friends, but not many because I scare them away.  |
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alex
Developer
Joined: Jun 14, 2004
Age: 22
Posts: 6321
Location: DC Metro Area (No. VA)
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| Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:42 pm Post subject: Re: Need friends... :( |
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| RedMage wrote: |
I have a few online friends, but not many because I scare them away. |
I suggest you work on learning social skills. I also used to annoy people when I tried to become friends with 'em. But there are things you can learn that will allow you to make friends more easily. First of all, don't come off as desparate. For instance, asking someone if they'll be your friend is not a good way to make one as it does the opposite of what you intend it to do. Also, complaining about things makes other people not want to talk with you, not because of anything wrong with you but because people don't like to hear an acquaintance complain for an extended period of time.
Anyway, good luck with everything. Keep reading the forums for more social advice. Check out the Dear Aspie articles and the "Secrets to Successful..." articles on wrong planet as they have great tips for makin friends. |
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RedMage
Phoenix
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Joined: Nov 09, 2006
Posts: 6813
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| Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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Mhm... People obviously can't stand me or something. Only a few people can talk to me online, because I scare them away by complaining. I can't help complaining though.  |
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alex
Developer
Joined: Jun 14, 2004
Age: 22
Posts: 6321
Location: DC Metro Area (No. VA)
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| Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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| RedMage wrote: | | Mhm... People obviously can't stand me or something. Only a few people can talk to me online, because I scare them away by complaining. I can't help complaining though. |
you can help whatever you want to help. just don't complain. simple as that. when you feel the urge to complain, complain to yourself. add yourself to your buddy list and send yourself IMs complaining instead of to the people you talk w/ online. |
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RedMage
Phoenix
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Joined: Nov 09, 2006
Posts: 6813
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| Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Er, good ideas... |
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RTSgamerFTW
4th Espada
Joined: Sep 28, 2006
Posts: 4793
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:00 am Post subject: Re: Need friends... :( |
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| RedMage wrote: | I need friends, but no one in real life will go near me... What's worse is, I no longer go to school so I can't make friends. Does anyone have any ideas how I can make friends in real life? I can't live alone like this any longer...
I have a few online friends, but not many because I scare them away. |
You don't scare me away. |
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RedMage
Phoenix
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Joined: Nov 09, 2006
Posts: 6813
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:06 am Post subject: Re: Need friends... :( |
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| Unknown wrote: | | You don't scare me away. |
Well that's good.  |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6333
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:26 am Post subject: |
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| Online people are jerks - try not to take it personally when they treat you like that. |
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Tequila
Bigot Extraordinare
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 6519
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:35 am Post subject: |
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| I tend not to make friends with people online if I can help it. I've met some quite deranged people through the Internet in the past. |
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larsenjw92286
Your invitation to come on down!
Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Age: 22
Posts: 8858
Location: Seattle, Washington
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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I'm willing to be your friend if you'd like!
Tell me about yourself.
_________________
Jason Larsen
gameshowdude1986@yahoo.com |
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bchris02
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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Online friends are not good because they don't really care about you. I learned this very painfully. They have their own lives and friends and you are just a bot they can turn on or off whenever they please. If you never logged on again, they wouldn't give a second thought to it.
Sadly, I am not fortunate enough to have a single friend in real life. People don't be my friend very often except maybe once every 2-3 years and when they do, I get too attached too quickly so it scares them away. I also come across as boring. |
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Xenon
Mutant Space Bug
Joined: Feb 10, 2006
Posts: 1708
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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| bchris02 wrote: | | Online friends are not good because they don't really care about you. I learned this very painfully. They have their own lives and friends and you are just a bot they can turn on or off whenever they please. If you never logged on again, they wouldn't give a second thought to it. |
Not always. I was a regular on another forum, got sick of the political BS going on, so I stopped posting. After an absence of a few weeks, a handful of e-friends from that board started to track me down to see how I was doing.
_________________
"Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." -- Emo Philips |
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Stinkypuppy
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 03, 2006
Posts: 498
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| bchris02 wrote: | | Online friends are not good because they don't really care about you. I learned this very painfully. They have their own lives and friends and you are just a bot they can turn on or off whenever they please. If you never logged on again, they wouldn't give a second thought to it. |
I tend to think that the Internet is a great way to meet new people, after all look at all the people all over the world who post here on WP. However, if the friendship never goes beyond online, then really there is a lot missing from the friendship. Online friendships can't quite replace real face-to-face relationships. This is not intended to suggest that online friendships are insignificant; on the contrary, we have to remember that there are real people sitting at the keyboards. However, there's only so much you or anybody else can do online, there's tons more out there in the real world remaining to explore. And you don't really know or understand an online friend until you meet him or her in person, face-to-face.
A lot of online friends are really just goodtime friends, so it's important to figure out whether your friendships will ever amount to anything significant. If the online friends never try to help you with your problems, or they never talk about anything of real importance, then that's a sign that the friendship won't end up being anything. |
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Stinkypuppy
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 03, 2006
Posts: 498
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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RedMage,
If I may ask, what exactly do you complain to people about? |
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bchris02
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Most people could care less about online friendships. Like stinkypuppy said, most of them are just good time friends. They see you as a bot, not a real person. I had a real good online friend for about 2 years. Although never diagnosed, he showed many symptoms of AS and had few friends in high school. We related well since we suffered from the same problems and had the same intrests. We talked of meeting a lot and stuff but never did because my strict parents wouldn't allow me to (because of the negative stigma surrounding online relationships due to shows like Dr. Phil and Oprah). When he went off to college he found his niche and got a "real" social life. That real social life meant he no longer needed me. After that, I barely existed to him. If you think about it, all online relationships are is last ditch efforts to find somebody. They will rarely, if ever stay true as a true friend in real life would. |
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