1000Knives
It's not difficult if you know how.
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 4724
Location: CT, USA
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 Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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| OliveOilMom wrote: | Oh yes. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I was in that exact situation until I learned how to get along in regular society. I had friends who actually took the time and trouble to explain things to me in detail, correct me, prompt me, tell me what to say, force me out of my comfort zone, etc. Now I'm not afraid to meet anyone or be stuck in a social situation or even stand in front of two thousand people and speak my mind. I've spoken my mind several times in front of tv cameras for the'local news about local events, and was on a morning talk radio show as a guest once. No nerves, it was fun and I did fine.
It takes lots of practice, help, and being willing to endure being uncomfortable. |
See, for me, I think I'm still awkward but I don't really have as much anxiety anymore. So it's sorta odd, not much anxiety, but people still tell me I do ____ awkwardly or whatever. I think it's the testosterone from working out more, that you just get more confident and don't care. I guess confidence=success, to a point. But I never had a DX until I was almost 18, and out of high school, and then when I got my DX I ignored it for 2 years figuring it was just those hokey psychologists with their made up mental disorders for normal things, but then I did the research on NVLD, and I made a friend who had NVLD like me, and yeah, it all fit.
I've never really felt like a total outcast, really, it's weird. Everywhere I go, I've always made a few friends that were good friends, but as far as fitting into large groups, that's where the problem is. I just can't mesh into group dynamic kinda things. But, I've always had friends, for the most part, but just fitting into large groups is a problem for me. That, and I tend to get along much better with older folks, like I'm 21, I probably get along better with people over like...28.
I wonder too, if it's I who feels weird around them more than they feel weird around me. I never realized for example that I'm fairly good looking, smart, good at a lot of stuff, etc, things that work for you in making friends. I think through my life, those things covered over my awkwardness a lot of the time. I wonder though, if people really think as negatively as I thought they thought they thought of me in high school. Hindsight is 20/20, obviously, I don't know one way or the other. But I wonder if I was just more confident in myself in high school, how far I'd have gotten socially. The other issue, too, though, was how far did I want to sacrifice to be popular, too. I had some of the cards for popularity, as I said before, but I never figured it was worth the compromise, to like, give up my anime or something like that to go there. It's quite weird, really, on one hand, I have all the makings of a "cool" person, my abilities, looks, and I'm actually very naturally outgoing, much more so than the "NTs" in my family, but sometimes I'm too outgoing. All those things equal a winner of sorts, but my NVLD and general weirdness seem to prevent that, though.
Oh well.
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Too kawaii to live...
Too sugoi to die! |
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coolies
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 24, 2012
Posts: 197
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 1:53 am Post subject: |
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yep for sure! i live with my NT parents and NT sister, my brother is also an aspie but diagnosed.
I am finding even at work i am seen as 'off with the fairies'
uni isnt as bad because not alot of people seem to be talking to random other people, but the thing that bothers me the most is people thinking i am not capable of understanding them! |
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homunculus420
Butterfly
Joined: May 23, 2012
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 6:25 am Post subject: |
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| I don't just feel like a misfit, I feel like I am of a different species. I do not fit in anywhere. |
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morslilleole
Toucan
Joined: Dec 18, 2011
Posts: 253
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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I am a social outcast, but more so in the past. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everybody, so it was hard/impossible to find a group of like-minded friends.
These days I am still a bit weird. But not as much. I work with geeky people and I love that. They're way easier to talk to for me, and they are a bit weird themselves so I feel more at home. I would love it if I found someone who's an apsie at work, though... |
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NeueZiel
Seņorita Gamera
Joined: Apr 29, 2012
Posts: 1246
Location: Kapustin Yar
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, that was my life until I was taken out of highschool. In the 6th grade my mom even had me throw a Halloween party and invite people, some came but then I was never invited to another party before or after and I think I invited everyone in class. Always felt excluded from stuff and like a outcast, no matter what I go. I even feel that way online. |
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Bunnynose
Sea Gull
Joined: May 18, 2012
Posts: 200
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Call me Misfit, for I've long been a square peg trying to force myself into a small, round hole. |
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Siddhi
Raven
Joined: Jan 23, 2012
Posts: 100
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Every day of my life i feel i dont fit in. I always feel like i am watching from outside. Once in while i get brief feeling of belonging but it is fleeting, never enough for me to really feel the sense of belonging.
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Disclaimer: Not diagnosed but have traits. |
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9805
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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One of the best rock n roll albums ever
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omega26
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 22, 2011
Posts: 77
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Story of my life, always the outcast or misfit, I can really relate, even as of now |
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tcorrielus
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 30, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 589
Location: Buffalo, NY
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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Deep inside I have always felt a social outcast in life. During high school, college, and even my previous job, lots of people (although they treated me kindly externally) never bothered to invite me to their parties or social gatherings. Whenever I asked them if we could hang out sometime, they would directly say "NO" or that they were very busy without something else. What was also worse was that they would castigate me for saying or doing things that I thought were harmless or inoffensive, BUT they took as a major offense.
I'm gonna move to a different city for grad school in July and I'm reading AS social skills books so that I can make and maintain friends, and avoid frequent disasters in social interactions and relationships. |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Is this a rhetorical thread? |
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CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 20, 2012
Age: 53
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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| redrobin62 wrote: | | I think that 99% of the folks on WP, including me, feel the way you do. |
^^ |
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Irishcream
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 06, 2012
Age: 31
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:33 am Post subject: |
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| NeueZiel wrote: | | Yeah, that was my life until I was taken out of highschool. In the 6th grade my mom even had me throw a Halloween party and invite people, some came but then I was never invited to another party before or after and I think I invited everyone in class. Always felt excluded from stuff and like a outcast, no matter what I go. I even feel that way online. |
Same thing happened to me when I lived in Sweden (9-11 years old) but that could have been because I was the foreigner? |
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PastFixations
One who will open the door.
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 2697
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