edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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 Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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| IlovemyAspie wrote: | | I see where you're coming from. Sometimes people don't know or are just too shy to act alone so they employ the help of an intervention team. Not thinking about the consequences. |
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I'm just peculiar. When public and private converge, I lose all my landmarks and can't tell where the boundaries are anymore. That's not just limited to this particular situation. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't think anyone wants their failures to be made public. It's embarrassing but its also human. Learning to deal with it can help make it better for the next time and the next time. Cause you KNOW there will be a next time. Maybe thinking about a way to handle it and having a plan in place can help. I don't think quickly on my feet so thinking about what to say and how to act ahead of time helps me. |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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As long as I've got my landmarks I can sort things out that way, but I need to keep public and private space clearly separated to be able to function.
It doesn't bother me much if some failure is known about, it's more in that situation, everyone's actually directly involved and messing it up feels quite different than messing it up all on my own. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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Understood  |
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The_Postmaster
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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I went last night, and Sarah was there. I couldn't think of anything to say, so for the first few minutes I was talking to other people and she was talking to Nicole and John. We would exchange words occasionally, mostly because other people would- I think- provoke us into talking to each other. I thought the whole thing went disastrously, but afterword John told me he thought she probably liked me. Perhaps I had missed some sort of signal. John told me later, after she had left, that he had performed an experiment. He insulted me a couple of times, and each time, Sarah defended me. She defended me personally and the clothes I was wearing. I usually wear a trench coat. I love trench coats. Nicole told me that I would look better sans the coat, and Sarah defended the coat.
She also seemed genuinely interested when I tried explaining string theory to her.
Overall, I don't know what to think. I have no idea what happened, what, if anything, is going to happen, why, where, or when.
_________________
"Every day a rerun of the next. I promised to stay by your side. That all would change, I can't complain, another victim of the game." -Underoath |
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AScomposer13413
Complacent Composer
Joined: Feb 02, 2012
Posts: 2082
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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| The_Postmaster wrote: | I went last night, and Sarah was there. I couldn't think of anything to say, so for the first few minutes I was talking to other people and she was talking to Nicole and John. We would exchange words occasionally, mostly because other people would- I think- provoke us into talking to each other. I thought the whole thing went disastrously, but afterword John told me he thought she probably liked me. Perhaps I had missed some sort of signal. John told me later, after she had left, that he had performed an experiment. He insulted me a couple of times, and each time, Sarah defended me. She defended me personally and the clothes I was wearing. I usually wear a trench coat. I love trench coats. Nicole told me that I would look better sans the coat, and Sarah defended the coat.
She also seemed genuinely interested when I tried explaining string theory to her.
Overall, I don't know what to think. I have no idea what happened, what, if anything, is going to happen, why, where, or when. |
Looks like John's experiment was a complete success!! That's the clearest indication that she likes you, man!! I'd say if you're interested in her as well, go for it!!  |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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| AScomposer13413 wrote: | | The_Postmaster wrote: | I went last night, and Sarah was there. I couldn't think of anything to say, so for the first few minutes I was talking to other people and she was talking to Nicole and John. We would exchange words occasionally, mostly because other people would- I think- provoke us into talking to each other. I thought the whole thing went disastrously, but afterword John told me he thought she probably liked me. Perhaps I had missed some sort of signal. John told me later, after she had left, that he had performed an experiment. He insulted me a couple of times, and each time, Sarah defended me. She defended me personally and the clothes I was wearing. I usually wear a trench coat. I love trench coats. Nicole told me that I would look better sans the coat, and Sarah defended the coat.
She also seemed genuinely interested when I tried explaining string theory to her.
Overall, I don't know what to think. I have no idea what happened, what, if anything, is going to happen, why, where, or when. |
Looks like John's experiment was a complete success!! That's the clearest indication that she likes you, man!! I'd say if you're interested in her as well, go for it!! |
I agree! This sounds good. Makes me think about the time someone tried to talk about my Aspie and I defended him every time. Yes this a very good sign. Now work on some things to talk about the next time you guys are together. I'm super excited for you! |
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The_Postmaster
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| IlovemyAspie wrote: | | AScomposer13413 wrote: | | The_Postmaster wrote: | I went last night, and Sarah was there. I couldn't think of anything to say, so for the first few minutes I was talking to other people and she was talking to Nicole and John. We would exchange words occasionally, mostly because other people would- I think- provoke us into talking to each other. I thought the whole thing went disastrously, but afterword John told me he thought she probably liked me. Perhaps I had missed some sort of signal. John told me later, after she had left, that he had performed an experiment. He insulted me a couple of times, and each time, Sarah defended me. She defended me personally and the clothes I was wearing. I usually wear a trench coat. I love trench coats. Nicole told me that I would look better sans the coat, and Sarah defended the coat.
She also seemed genuinely interested when I tried explaining string theory to her.
Overall, I don't know what to think. I have no idea what happened, what, if anything, is going to happen, why, where, or when. |
Looks like John's experiment was a complete success!! That's the clearest indication that she likes you, man!! I'd say if you're interested in her as well, go for it!! |
I agree! This sounds good. Makes me think about the time someone tried to talk about my Aspie and I defended him every time. Yes this a very good sign. Now work on some things to talk about the next time you guys are together. I'm super excited for you! |
What sorts of things should I talk about? I know that she wants to be a mortician. I don't know anything about that field. Would it be okay to ask her about it?
_________________
"Every day a rerun of the next. I promised to stay by your side. That all would change, I can't complain, another victim of the game." -Underoath |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| The_Postmaster wrote: | | IlovemyAspie wrote: | | AScomposer13413 wrote: | | The_Postmaster wrote: | I went last night, and Sarah was there. I couldn't think of anything to say, so for the first few minutes I was talking to other people and she was talking to Nicole and John. We would exchange words occasionally, mostly because other people would- I think- provoke us into talking to each other. I thought the whole thing went disastrously, but afterword John told me he thought she probably liked me. Perhaps I had missed some sort of signal. John told me later, after she had left, that he had performed an experiment. He insulted me a couple of times, and each time, Sarah defended me. She defended me personally and the clothes I was wearing. I usually wear a trench coat. I love trench coats. Nicole told me that I would look better sans the coat, and Sarah defended the coat.
She also seemed genuinely interested when I tried explaining string theory to her.
Overall, I don't know what to think. I have no idea what happened, what, if anything, is going to happen, why, where, or when. |
Looks like John's experiment was a complete success!! That's the clearest indication that she likes you, man!! I'd say if you're interested in her as well, go for it!! |
I agree! This sounds good. Makes me think about the time someone tried to talk about my Aspie and I defended him every time. Yes this a very good sign. Now work on some things to talk about the next time you guys are together. I'm super excited for you! |
What sorts of things should I talk about? I know that she wants to be a mortician. I don't know anything about that field. Would it be okay to ask her about it? |
That's a perfect place to start! |
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AScomposer13413
Complacent Composer
Joined: Feb 02, 2012
Posts: 2082
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 12:27 am Post subject: |
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| IlovemyAspie wrote: | | The_Postmaster wrote: | | IlovemyAspie wrote: | | AScomposer13413 wrote: | | The_Postmaster wrote: | I went last night, and Sarah was there. I couldn't think of anything to say, so for the first few minutes I was talking to other people and she was talking to Nicole and John. We would exchange words occasionally, mostly because other people would- I think- provoke us into talking to each other. I thought the whole thing went disastrously, but afterword John told me he thought she probably liked me. Perhaps I had missed some sort of signal. John told me later, after she had left, that he had performed an experiment. He insulted me a couple of times, and each time, Sarah defended me. She defended me personally and the clothes I was wearing. I usually wear a trench coat. I love trench coats. Nicole told me that I would look better sans the coat, and Sarah defended the coat.
She also seemed genuinely interested when I tried explaining string theory to her.
Overall, I don't know what to think. I have no idea what happened, what, if anything, is going to happen, why, where, or when. |
Looks like John's experiment was a complete success!! That's the clearest indication that she likes you, man!! I'd say if you're interested in her as well, go for it!! |
I agree! This sounds good. Makes me think about the time someone tried to talk about my Aspie and I defended him every time. Yes this a very good sign. Now work on some things to talk about the next time you guys are together. I'm super excited for you! |
What sorts of things should I talk about? I know that she wants to be a mortician. I don't know anything about that field. Would it be okay to ask her about it? |
That's a perfect place to start! |
Agreed! Get a conversation with her and asking her questions about what she wants to do - kill two birds with one stone (not literally) |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:37 am Post subject: Re: I'm really confused |
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| The_Postmaster wrote: | | I just meant that since she is paranoid- her words, not mine- she might want to seek help for that, and that will be easier to do if she gets a diagnosis of PPD. |
People will sometimes use clinical terms to describe a non-clinical feeling that they have. There is a difference between having a personality trait or a bad time with things and having a disorder. A person stating that they might be paranoid, depressed, or out-of-sorts doesn't equate to them having PPD, clinical depression, or schizophrenia. Arming one's self is a viable option against having a paranoid mindset and being worried of an attack. Also, being a little paranoid (not the clinical term, but the common term used in everyday parlance) is good and healthy, as is most negative feelings. It's when they are taken to extreme that there is a problem to be looked at on a clinical level. Some people who are more pacifist see carrying a weapon as extreme. I always caution that if someone is going carry a weapon they have ensured proper training in the use of that weapon.
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I'm really glad things went well for you, as it sounds like they did. Just remember to find 'Sarah' interesting, so as she mentions things about herself, like wanting to become a mortician, those become good things to ask her about. She'll probably do the same with you as she also gets to know you better. Allow the conversation to flow back and fourth regarding things she likes and things you like; that way you are both getting to know each other better and forming a friendship as well. You should always work to form a good solid friendship to help carry any potential romantic relationship that might also develop.
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Also, there's something about the name Nicole that I really like. |
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The_Postmaster
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, so here's an update on the situation. I've somehow managed to get myself integrated into yet another social group. This makes two, the most that I've ever had to deal with simultaneously. My group of friends at school, and now this other group of people. There is, apparently, a band composed (No pun intended) of Nicole, Sarah, another guy (We'll call him Patrick) and another girl (We'll call her Melissa), and since I am good with music theory, they've asked for my help with writing songs. Tomorrow I will be attending band practice at Sarah's house.
...Unfortunately, on the flip side of this, Sarah says she doesn't like me as more than a friend. Here's what transpired: they had a social gathering the day after I met Sarah, which was at Nicole's house. I wasn't invited because her parents hate me. They think I look like a "shady character." Admittedly, the trench coat probably doesn't help, but it's part of my personal style.
So at the social gathering it apparently came into the open that I like Sarah. She said, "Why would he like me? I'm not even pretty." I think she is, but I digress. Nicole told her, "Obviously he does, so you should take the opportunity." Then she said, even if I went out with him, I would probably just dump him after a day. Nicole asked, "What happens if you actually like him and don't dump him?" And she responded with, "When would I get to see him?" A valid question, since we go to different schools. Then Nicole said, "you'll make time."
When they asked her if she liked me, she responded with, "I don't like anyone." I may just be being optimistic, but whenever I've said that, it's because I like to think I'm a Vulcan, so I have to act unemotional, usually to cover up the fact that I actually do like the person.
Then the others were teasing her by putting her first name in front of my last name and calling her that.
I've discovered more about her in the interim. She's basically a female version of me in every way possible. I think she might even be an Aspie.
Her friends have since advised me that this is her way of saying she likes me but doesn't want to admit it, so I should try to get closer to her at band practice.
_________________
"Every day a rerun of the next. I promised to stay by your side. That all would change, I can't complain, another victim of the game." -Underoath |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 1:47 am Post subject: |
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| It is possible she does like you and is saying she doesn't. That's typical of girls your age. Just see where this goes. Play it cool and just get to know her. She may be getting a lot of behind the scenes teasing. And from what you described some in front of her face teasing! That will make some girls embarrassed and therefore "act" like they don't like you so everyone will leave them alone. Just see where this goes. You're becoming quite the social butterfly! |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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Good luck!
Also, since she mentioned it and you sort of concurred, at your age, seeing each other even as little as once every two weeks is okay. It doesn't have to be one-on-one dates, even. Just hanging out and getting to know each other is fine, and really more than fine in my book, because I think people should focus on the friendship more than the romantic side anyway. If there's sparks, the romantic side sort of takes care of itself, but you definitely want to make sure there's a good solid friendship underlying everything. |
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