Kaelynn
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 24, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 378
Location: My Own World
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 Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:46 am Post subject: Being hugged/held tightly. Why do some Aspies like it? |
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| I have read that alot of aspies and autistic people like being hugged or held tightly. Some like it when other people hug them and others like that feeling but not when its coming from another person. For me I dont always like it coming from another person but some poeple are good huggers so I do enjoy it. My questions are do you enjoy being hugged or held tightly by a person or not? And why do some aspies like it so much? |
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Atomsk
Bass Fiend
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1539
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:51 am Post subject: |
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Many autistics, like myself, like deep pressure/hard pressure. This includes things like tight hugs, or using weighted blankets, etc.
At the same time, light touches drive me crazy - I can't stand them.
It has to do with just the right type of stimulation versus the wrong type. I'm not sure exactly why some of us like hard pressure, and/or hate light touch, but it's just the way in which each person's Autism has manifested. |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:54 am Post subject: |
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I like it very much, the tighter the better. Light touch bothers me as well.
I suspect it must be a similar thing as the way some people like weighted blankets (I must try one of these some day!) |
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unsuredan
Butterfly
Joined: May 30, 2012
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:55 am Post subject: |
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| I like the idea of being hugged and touched in fact I love it well in thought I do. However in practice I seem to tense up and be uncomfortable with it. I have issues with hugging friends I've known for years even although as of lately I seem to be warming up a bit. I think its just my issues with people cause if I emotionally let a person in quite often I get hurt. So I keep up a wall and touching I feel like maybe that cracks that wall a bit that I want to keep up. |
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iggy64
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 410
Location: East England
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:57 am Post subject: |
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If you're going to hug me, you have to make a large motion so that I pick up on it before I'm surprised, and it has to be a tight hug. I'm not really sure why, but light touches make me very uncomfortable, and make me feel that I'd actually prefer to be not being hugged or hugged tightly. I think it's something to do with how much information hits at once, a light touch sends lots of little signals, while a big hug just cuts that off a bit.
I will immediately break a hug if you breathe directly on my face or hug me without warning.
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artrat
Occupy Wrong Planet!
Joined: Nov 07, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 1268
Location: The Butthole of the American Empire
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 2:12 am Post subject: |
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I don't liked to be touched too much but love pressure. Thankfully I have a weighted blanket and think all aspies could benefit from one.
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Blownmind
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 823
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:10 am Post subject: |
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Physical touch is my primary love language, so I both express and feel love when touched or when I touch others.
| Quote: | Chapman's Five Emotional Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence.
Quality Time
Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.
Gifts
It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
Acts of Service
Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
Physical Touch
Sometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need. |
(source: http://marriage.about.com/cs/communicationkeys/a/lovelanguage.htm)
If this is a typical Aspie trait or not, I do not know.
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AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200 |
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Frakkin
Blue Jay
Joined: Aug 25, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:33 am Post subject: |
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| I have no idea why I enjoy tight hugs. They just feel really nice. The deep pressure and everything. I remember being younger and I liked having people walk on my back or piling blankets on my bed because of the weight. I didn't know about weighted blankets before, so the only thing I could think of was to buy a heavy feather duvet. But I think I'll be buying a weighted blanket in the near future because I would be so happy to have a really heavy blanket. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18164
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:39 am Post subject: |
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there is very little wrong with me that a good loving hug would not ameliorate. also, any kind of gentle [not harsh] touch is nice.  |
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Aprilviolets
Slave of my ginger cat.
Joined: May 07, 2011
Posts: 1255
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:46 am Post subject: Being hugged/held tightly. Why do some Aspies like it? |
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| I don't like it very much but I don't mind a Massage. when I go to the hairdressers they give me a head massage I like that but hugs no I don't. |
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Teredia
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 617
Location: N.T. Australia
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 5:01 am Post subject: |
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| Atomsk wrote: | Many autistics, like myself, like deep pressure/hard pressure. This includes things like tight hugs, or using weighted blankets, etc.
At the same time, light touches drive me crazy - I can't stand them.
It has to do with just the right type of stimulation versus the wrong type. I'm not sure exactly why some of us like hard pressure, and/or hate light touch, but it's just the way in which each person's Autism has manifested. |
I agree with you very much, i am very much the same. but instead of using a weighted blacket i use a heavy dooner or two..
I also like to be held tightly but not to the point of suffocation, and soft gentle taps/bumps drive me insane.
I read somewhere i think in Aspergirls by Rudy Simmons thats Temple Grandin bought a cattle shute and lays in it each day for the pressure.... |
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Goldie83
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 28, 2012
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 6:52 am Post subject: |
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I like to squeeze my partner so hard that I lift him off the ground. I get him to squeeze me back. But only him. Everyone else doesn't touch me. Which is fine by me! I also like my back to be scratched. A LOT. My partner bites his nails though which annoys me no end as my back is always unscratched. I want to put the bad tasting anti-bite nail polish stuff on his hands when he is asleep  I don't think it will go down well. I also hate light touches but I loved my face being stroked when I was a kid. |
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Rax
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 16, 2011
Posts: 226
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:08 am Post subject: |
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I like being close to the people i like/love hugs do just that.
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Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:38 am Post subject: |
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| artrat wrote: | | I don't liked to be touched too much but love pressure. Thankfully I have a weighted blanket and think all aspies could benefit from one. |
Do they come in cooler summer material? I live in the desert and I need a heavy blanket to feel comfortable at night but sometimes the only way to get to sleep is in the nude with the windows open (not much sleep in the summer).
I like deep pressure. I also like the faintest touch, like a finger just barely running over my skin.
So I like some hugs (some people just seem to know how to do it, not me) but most of them I don't because they're given by guys who seem to be trying to avoid unauthorized boob contact because I'm "taken", so it's not a real hug. |
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kx250rider
Educated Musclehead
Joined: May 16, 2010
Posts: 1953
Location: Dallas, TX and Ventura County, CA
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:28 am Post subject: |
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| Atomsk wrote: | Many autistics, like myself, like deep pressure/hard pressure. This includes things like tight hugs, or using weighted blankets, etc.
At the same time, light touches drive me crazy - I can't stand them.
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That's how I am. A pat on the shoulder might as well be a sword deep into the flesh, but a long, welcomed, and tight hug (especially from my wife), is very good.
Charles |
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