Do you hate having aspergers and how can I deal with it?

WP Members: > 75,000

New Today: 5
New Yesterday: 33

1, 2 Next

Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> General Autism Discussion

NateRiver
Sea Gull

Joined: Feb 09, 2012
Posts: 219

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:28 pm Post subject: Do you hate having aspergers and how can I deal with it?

I absolutely hate it. I'll give you my reasons why. Firstly, my autism has delayed me in so many important aspects of life, especially school. I get bullied at school because I can't socialize well. I have a receptive and repetitive language disorder and my expression skills and language skills are back by 2 years;therefore I can't communicate or write English. I can't do maths for some weird reason, I understand all the concepts but I can't understand questions and apply the appropriate methodology to solve it plus I make silly mistakes. . I can't draw. . I can't be creative because it involves expression which I can't do. . I can't play music because it involves listening to the teacher which is hard because of my concentration difficulties and my receptive language disorder. . I also have behavior problems so people don't want to be around me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm only good at science, debating and reading;however even then they're useless without the above skills. I wish I had a special skill. I wish I was good at maths or something. I wish I could apply the correct conventional constructive steps to problem solving in maths. I was thinking about dealing with this problem visually;however I don't really have any approach to that at all too. Is there anyone I can see to help me cope with my problems? I would love to be good at maths because I like the subject very much. I can understand the concepts, I just literally can't do the "math" a.k.a the steps e.t.c By the way, practicing in maths never works because this is still a major psychological issue The school won't help me btw because I'm high functioning. Oh... Thank you guys. I've just been told alot otherwise that my grammar is horrible e.t.c I had to work really hard to get to this degree of English though. Last edited by NateRiver on Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:54 pm; edited 2 times in total

Scatmaster
Blue Jay

Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Posts: 86

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:41 pm Post subject:

Are you in school? Is there a therapist or disability counselor you can talk to about these things?

Dillogic
boom bang pow
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 25, 2011
Posts: 3496

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:43 pm Post subject:

Deal with it.

SilkySifaka
Lemur
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:52 pm Post subject:

Your written English seems really good to me. Maybe you are being a bit hard on yourself? Lots of people with AS don't have special skills, or have special skills that don't have much use (for example I can read a book in a matter of hours, and I can remember dates and numbers but these don't help me in my day to day life at all). I'm sorry you are being bullied, I'm sure that is a very common experience of people here. I went to four different schools and was bullied in all of them! My school-days really were the worst days of my life, it has got better since then. I'm sure it will for you too. I think Scatmaster's advice is good, if there is a teacher you can speak to about how you feel and what is happening that might be a good idea.

Prof_Pretorius
troubled Soul
Phoenix

Joined: Aug 21, 2006
Age: 55
Posts: 6912
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:09 pm Post subject:

You have to find what you are good at, and concentrate on that. STOP concentrating on what you are not good at. Your english skills seem goo to me. Remember, AS is a curse AND a blessing. _________________ I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke

redrobin62
Doppelgänger
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 50
Posts: 4085
Location: Seattle, WA

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:39 pm Post subject:

@NateRiver - your writing does seem pretty good for someone who can't write. I'm thinking someone else wrote your post?

CuriousKitten
Velociraptor

Joined: Mar 20, 2012
Age: 53
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:40 pm Post subject:

I agree with the previous poster -- Your written English is quite articulate. My "trick" for doing math is to start at the beginning of the book and work _every_ problem at least once, usually going chapters ahead of the class -- I usually ace it. It isn't talent, just stubbornness. If you have trouble with the book you are issued, try a different book. Once you build some success, and resulting confidence, the mental blocks will erode. Basically the same strategy applies to almost everything you turn your hand to -- If you aren't learning with the current method, go at it from a different angle. The best way to learn to draw is to get a sketch pad and sketch what's in front of you . . habitually. I've found graphics and video (in a format you can pause) online to be helpful for this as well. Nobody starts out drawing perfectly -- it always takes a great deal of practice. One thought to keep foremost in your mind: You ARE able to learn.

sharkattack
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: May 10, 2012
Posts: 260

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:38 pm Post subject: Re: Do you hate having aspergers and how can I deal with it?

NateRiver wrote:

I absolutely hate it. I'll give you my reasons why.

Firstly, my autism has delayed me in so many important aspects of life, especially school.

I get bullied at school because I can't socialize well.

I have a receptive and repetitive language disorder and my expression skills and language skills are back by 2 years;therefore I can't communicate or write English.

I can't do maths for some weird reason, I understand all the concepts but I can't understand questions and apply the appropriate methodology to solve it plus I make silly mistakes.

. I can't draw.

. I can't be creative because it involves expression which I can't do.

. I can't play music because it involves listening to the teacher which is hard because of my concentration difficulties and my receptive language disorder.

. I also have behavior problems so people don't want to be around me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm only good at science, debating and reading;however even then they're useless without the above skills.

I wish I had a special skill. I wish I was good at maths or something. I wish I could apply the correct conventional constructive steps to problem solving in maths. I was thinking about dealing with this problem visually;however I don't really have any approach to that at all too.

Is there anyone I can see to help me cope with my problems? I would love to be good at maths because I like the subject very much. I can understand the concepts, I just literally can't do the "math" a.k.a the steps e.t.c

By the way, practicing in maths never works because this is still a major psychological issue

The school won't help me btw because I'm high functioning.

I had Aspergers and a cleft lip to deal with so I know what bullying is.
You should remember that this world is not perfect and be thankful for what you do have.

People are blind deaf in wheelchairs have cancer are retarded are sexually abused the list goes on.

I enjoy movies I love swimming and walking.

I have had to deal with a lot of depression but life is a mixed bag if you focus on the bad you will miss the good.

One of the symptoms of Aspergers is obsession with a few subjects to the determent of the bigger picture.

One of my obsessions is Cinema and film.

I have learned to accept this and enjoy my Cinema visits.

NateRiver
Sea Gull

Joined: Feb 09, 2012
Posts: 219

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:58 pm Post subject:

redrobin62 wrote:

@NateRiver - your writing does seem pretty good for someone who can't write. I'm thinking someone else wrote your post?

No... I wrote it. But I still do have problems with English. I've gotten better over the years though through hardwork.

Rascal77s
Picnic Basket Thief
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Posts: 2351

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:02 pm Post subject:

SilkySifaka wrote:

Your written English seems really good to me. Maybe you are being a bit hard on yourself? Lots of people with AS don't have special skills, or have special skills that don't have much use (for example I can read a book in a matter of hours, and I can remember dates and numbers but these don't help me in my day to day life at all).

I'm sorry you are being bullied, I'm sure that is a very common experience of people here. I went to four different schools and was bullied in all of them! My school-days really were the worst days of my life, it has got better since then. I'm sure it will for you too.

I think Scatmaster's advice is good, if there is a teacher you can speak to about how you feel and what is happening that might be a good idea.

I think for you and the OP it's a question of finding how to use your skills. For example, you are a fast reader. You could work as a proof reader. Nate is good in science, well not all scientists perform math, there are programs that will crunch the data for almost any task, you just have to input the data.

I'm still working on what to do with my skills. I could tell you that you were born on a Wed. and joined WP on a Mon. but you probably have an iPhone to tell you that. Be happy that you guys have useful skills.

Joe90
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8432
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:14 pm Post subject:

I can't deal with having AS either. But I try to make myself feel better by not associating everything I do, say and think on my diagnosis. I try to consider some things I do, say and think as genuine personality traits, after all, we can't all be perfect. I just focus more on the bigger main ASD traits, like getting depressed/anxious with change of routine, having sensory issues with sound, getting myself too involved in my obsessions, getting anxious over small things that seem big to me, those sorts of things. I try to leave silly little things out of it, silly little things that I can't prove if it's related to my ASD or not. That way I can know that I am not one big difference, and the more I'm observing NT behaviour and emotions, the more I feel I can relate to them in some ways, rather than splitting NTs and Aspies up into completely opposite groups because there is no need for it and it will just make me feel even more isolated and miserable. There are some traits that I share with NTs, and some that I share with Aspies. I just wish NTs could have positive empathy for people with disabilities rather than expecting them to be exactly the same on the outside (nobody's exactly the same on the inside but they have high expectations for people to be exactly the same on the outside, like when they're in public). _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

SilkySifaka
Lemur
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:15 pm Post subject:

Rascal77s wrote:

SilkySifaka wrote:

Yes I can proof read very well, and I have proof read and corrected other people's University dissertations, which is a little comical as I left school at 14. The problem is that because I have no qualifications, I have nothing to prove that I can even read and write, as far as employers are concerned.

Knowing the days like that is amazing, that would be a great party trick - it's a shame that Aspie people don't often go to parties.

Callista
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9935
Location: Central USA

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:27 pm Post subject:

Dillogic wrote:

Deal with it.

That's not exactly helpful, you know. If you say "deal with it", you really have to offer some tips on how to deal with it. Otherwise you're just being annoying.

The disability associated with autism is real; and I can see a lot of frustration because the OP isn't getting access to school.

Being "high-functioning" can really backfire that way. It's like people assume that it means you never need help and never have any problems. In reality, it means nothing at all. There are so, so many "high-functioning" people who don't get the (usually minor) accommodations that let them take advantage of education, contribute in the workplace, participate in society. And it makes me mad, because I've been there, and because it isn't right. Just because the accommodations you need are minor, doesn't mean that they're unimportant. They are just as important as a wheelchair ramp, a sign-language interpreter, or an aide.

Say you and a "low-functioning" guy both want to buy a gallon of milk. The milk costs $3.50. You have $3.00. The "low-functioning" guy only has 50 cents. Neither of you are going to be able to buy the milk--it makes no difference that you've got two dollars more than he has. And it makes no sense to hand him $3 and then assume that you can somehow magically buy the milk with your $3, because you're "only" 50 cents short. It doesn't matter if you're only a little short; you're still short and you still need fifty cents if you're going to get your milk.

It's like that--only think of the milk as an education, and the money as your ability to access a mainstream classroom. It's not fair, and you have every right to demand the little accommodations that let you learn properly. Just because others need more than you do, doesn't mean that you don't deserve what you need.
_________________
Engineering & Psychology student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

NTAndrew
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Do you hate having aspergers and how can I deal with it?

NateRiver wrote:

For someone whose "grammar is horrible", you write pretty well. If you put that same degree of effort into some of the above topics, you might do pretty well with them too.

Rascal77s
Picnic Basket Thief
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Posts: 2351

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:15 pm Post subject:

SilkySifaka wrote:

Rascal77s wrote:

SilkySifaka wrote:

That just means you need to get the certifications. I know that can be a long process but you just have to do it. I'm in college now and I'm in my late 30s. I'm getting a piece of paper to prove that I can do what I've already been doing for years. Why? because it will open doors for me in getting to where I want to go. It's a waste of time IMO but it's the way thinks work. Sometimes you have to work with the system or sit on the sidelines.

P.S. It's not a great party trick at the kind of parties I used to go to. Laughing

Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> General Autism Discussion

1, 2 Next

Forums ©

Read more Articles on Wrong Planet

Wrong Planet is a Registered Trademark.
Copyright 2004-2013, Wrong Planet, LLC and Alex Plank. Alex does public speaking for Autism.

Advertise on Wrong Planet

Wrong Planet News Wrong Planet Forums