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rpm2004
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 577
Location: Reno,NV,USA
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 Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:26 pm Post subject: I have no idea who I am. |
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I just muddle through life,questioning and requestioning every decision I make and I want to write this before I change my mind.I don't know what I like,do I just pretend to have hobbies so that I appear normal or do I actually take pleasure in such frivolities.Do I say "yeah that's a good show" when asked about TV just so I have a point of common intrest.Is society influencing all my actions so that I appear to be happy and content with all my activities when I am really dying inside.My self confidence is so low that I can't trust myself to make decisions for myself.Alot of people would say "stop thinking so much and just do what feels right"...but nothing feels right.
Who am I?
What do I like?
please tell me because I have no clue
_________________
Lighters filled with water generally do not work at all. |
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tinky
Bob the Llama's wingman
Joined: Mar 25, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 6376
Location: en la luna bailando con las vacas
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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well, i certainly can't tell you who you are. you can only really tell yourself who you are.
try some hobbies or find a band you like.
you enjoy breathing air, so there's a start. 
_________________
Tinky is currently in la la land frolicking with fairies in sun painted daffodils whislt "I Like Birds" gently fills the air.
you may tire of the world but the world will never tire of you.
I'm a girl, people!
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Awesomelyglorious
Destroyer of worlds, reaver of souls
Joined: Dec 18, 2005
Posts: 6138
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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| You are you and you like what you like. Nothing seems right if you are off. You might try different things to see what you like, or you might decide it is too much trouble and stick to your normal routine. I would imagine that many people have these feelings at some point, you just have to find your own way through them. Finding yourself is no easy task. |
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TheMachine1
.
Joined: Jun 12, 2006
Posts: 9092
Location: 9099 will be my last post...what the hell 9011 will be.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I went from being young and knowing it all to now I do not trust my own thoughts. I live 99% in a dream. I'm bored and don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I can see time from the beginning to the end and know everything about my life and
pretty much everyone elses combined will have close to zero impact on the end
of the universe. But I'm not worried about it either. Just survive day to day. |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat is a Sweet Pea :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 34
Posts: 21178
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates :O)
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I was lost for nearly a year and a half. I was between obsessions, and I wasn't planing on having another obsession for the rest of my life. Just as I couldn't take it anymore, one of my old obsessions came back, to pay me a very long visit. Actually two of them came back, and they're related to each other. |
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Claradoon
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 24, 2006
Posts: 1330
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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I am currently discovering what I like. It's a slow search, but I'm finding things. My guiding light is the Too Loud book. Twice a day, I must do something pleasurable. To begin with, I've had to put that in my ToDo list, like it was a chore. I don't really understand anything else.
- I repaired the chair massage pad and I use it.
- Bought a bamboo plant, I like looking at it.
- Revamped the whole shower process.
Wow, taking a walk on the wild side, huh? Well, it's a start.
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rpm2004
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 577
Location: Reno,NV,USA
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 12:21 am Post subject: |
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Thanks everybody,you've helped alot.
_________________
Lighters filled with water generally do not work at all. |
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CanyonWind
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2006
Posts: 1387
Location: West of the Great Divide
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 1:59 am Post subject: |
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I'm like what Cockney said, I feel a terrible overwealming emptiness when I'm between obsesions.
Obsessions never got me nothing, but they're fun. They keep me going.
Also, I cleaned up my house a bit. I find the external environment affects what's going on inside my mind. When my eyes are constantly telling my brain, "dirt and chaos," it seems to steer my thinking in that direction.
_________________
Thou out of heaven's benediction comest
To the warm sun.
Approach, thou beacon to this under globe.
Nothing almost sees miracles but misery.
- from King Lear |
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Scintillate
Everything and Nothing
Joined: Oct 05, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 1274
Location: Perth
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:19 am Post subject: |
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Wow, I thought this was only me.
Between obsessions I feel totally worthless personally, as if without that key drive I don't have anything to offer.
Fortunately music is an ever-expanding interest, with no limit on where I can go..
However I've taken a new interest in nanotechnology which will give me 4 years of study to achieve, so as to prevent me falling into general disinterest and disarray again.
I think its very important to follow your desires, to find what you truly want to achieve, and find a path that can lead you to it or through it..
Most importantly, its the journey that must become enjoyable or functional, not the end result.
_________________
All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine! |
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Mitch8817
The Equalizer
Joined: Apr 04, 2006
Posts: 2114
Location: Victoria, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:21 am Post subject: |
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| Perhaps you could keep a reflective journal and analyse and delve into aspects of your life and make decision on what you like/dislike and your reactions to things. Make your feelings concrete. |
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squier
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 11, 2006
Posts: 704
Location: IL
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 3:56 pm Post subject: Re: I have no idea who I am. |
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| rpm2004 wrote: | I just muddle through life,questioning and requestioning every decision I make and I want to write this before I change my mind.I don't know what I like,do I just pretend to have hobbies so that I appear normal or do I actually take pleasure in such frivolities.Do I say "yeah that's a good show" when asked about TV just so I have a point of common intrest.Is society influencing all my actions so that I appear to be happy and content with all my activities when I am really dying inside.My self confidence is so low that I can't trust myself to make decisions for myself.Alot of people would say "stop thinking so much and just do what feels right"...but nothing feels right.
Who am I?
What do I like?
please tell me because I have no clue |
do you like having AS? if you don't find a friend and just hang out. if you are proud to be autistic, do something with your life, go on a road trip, write a manuscript. you said that all your actions are influenced by humanity, if you mean you are following the popularity trend, do something your concience tells you to do, don't listen to your brain for 12 to 24 hours, but hold on to your common sense. if you are just feeling empty, or just like you need to be a square peg in a round hole, and you feel like you are a round one. just go outside. if all else fails, contact a phyciatrist and ask them after a session if they think you should see a social worker.
_________________
sincerely,
squier
P.S
my book:
http://www.lulu.com/content/710903 |
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Dewclaw
Raven
Joined: Oct 07, 2006
Posts: 102
Location: Central Montana
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:46 am Post subject: |
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Interesting topic. I've never thought about who I am because I've always perceived myself as who I am. That probably doesn't make much sense. Sometimes I haven't been sure about what I like, but it hasn't been much of a problem. It is a bummer that few people find a practical value in who I am and what I like.
I guess I don't really understand first hand what you are saying. Something to think about I suppose.
I remember Arsenio Hall in an interview one time saying he didn't know who he was anymore because he was always performing for other people. Society does have a huge influence on many of us on what we believe and who we are.
Hopefully it is fun to write just about whatever you feel like in WP without worrying about other stuff. I like writing about things I wouldn't talk about outside of WP. My topics get little traffic, but no one has given me a hard time about it either. I do get scared at times when writing about sensitive topics. I'm thinking about staying away from those because they are quite scary.
_________________
Things aren't always the way they seem-- At least that's the way it seems |
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gsilver
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 21, 2006
Posts: 538
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IcelandicGuy
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 14, 2006
Age: 27
Posts: 80
Location: Reykjavik
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I also feel terribly empty emotionally and it seems to have gotten worse in the past couple of years. I think maybe itīs a sense of hopelessness that my life will ever get better. I find myself getting absorbed in my hobbies just to kill time. |
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ion
Velociraptor
Joined: May 11, 2006
Posts: 463
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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I can't tell you who you are.
You have got to disconnect from every influence trying to tell you who you are and sell you an identity.
Then to get a good overview, you could take a role playing game character sheet and fill out your stuff there.
They are made to roughly define a person's characteristics, and, like a role playing game, you can keep it and use it as guide to "level up" on skills and abilities.
Check out this film for further instructions. (That's where I got the idea )
I also suggest you download and check out this episode, because it talks A LOT about your mind, your self, your identity, and all that without trying to sell anything.
Try some meditation.
Write down what YOU like.
Write down what YOU think.
Discard what everyone has told you is cool and fun.
Mimicking others personalities is for normals
But, again, you can't let others decide for you.
Not media, not your friends or families, not us, only you. |
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