ToughDiamond
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 16, 2008
Age: 60
Posts: 4751
|
 Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:15 am Post subject: |
 |
|
I used to get these feelings of panic and my activities would go round in ever-decreasing circles when I was alone for a long time.
But recently I've started to feel more comfy on my own. Recent relationships have been very difficult for me and I think I want to develop my psychometric skills before contemplating any more of that I'd rather be a bit lonely for a while than feel anxiety, guilt and harrassment. Friendships - I haven't bothered much wth those either recently.......I seem perfectly capable of engaging with folks and the banter seems to work, I don't feel particularly unattractive sexually or socially. WP is probably very important to me at the moment because I don't have much else social going on in my life.
SUMMARY: Yes. |
|
| Back to top |
|
YellowBanana
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 15, 2011
Posts: 923
Location: mostly, in my head.
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
What does it feel like to be lonely? I don't know if I can withstand loneliness because I'm not exactly sure what it feels like or if I've ever experienced it.
_________________
Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx EDD/BPD |
|
| Back to top |
|
lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6284
Location: Ontario, Canada
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:30 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I don't like feeling completely alone but I rely on myself to be my best friend if need be. You should try to make one or two friends though so you're not completely alone in life. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Misslizard
Wayfaring Stranger
Joined: Jun 19, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 3021
Location: Aux Arcs
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:34 am Post subject: Are you able to withstand loneliness |
|
|
Oscar Wilde said:
Other people are quite dreadful.The only possible society is oneself. |
|
| Back to top |
|
ToughDiamond
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 16, 2008
Age: 60
Posts: 4751
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:59 am Post subject: |
|
|
| YellowBanana wrote: | | What does it feel like to be lonely? I don't know if I can withstand loneliness because I'm not exactly sure what it feels like or if I've ever experienced it. |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness
Empty, anxious, isolated.....with me I sometimes got a kind of vision of myself growing old and dying of some illness without anybody even knowing. But if you've never felt it, you won't understand. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Misslizard
Wayfaring Stranger
Joined: Jun 19, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 3021
Location: Aux Arcs
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:07 pm Post subject: Are you able to withstand loneliness |
|
|
| I could be dead for weeks and no one would know.I'm in a remote area so no one could smell me if I croaked.If it happens I hope I'm outside so I don't stink up the house and the crows and buzzards would get a good meal.At least my carcass could benefit other beings. |
|
| Back to top |
|
DonkeyBuster
Phoenix
Joined: May 12, 2009
Age: 55
Posts: 1306
Location: New Mexico, USA
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:11 pm Post subject: Re: Are you able to withstand loneliness |
|
|
| Misslizard wrote: | | I could be dead for weeks and no one would know.I'm in a remote area so no one could smell me if I croaked.If it happens I hope I'm outside so I don't stink up the house and the crows and buzzards would get a good meal.At least my carcass could benefit other beings. |
Know the situation & the wish to be a good last meal for something. Kinda sad, but more worried about my animals should that happen. They would be w/out food & water for some time. Do you get mail delivery?
Not my situation now, but I can understand. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Misslizard
Wayfaring Stranger
Joined: Jun 19, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 3021
Location: Aux Arcs
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:14 pm Post subject: Are you able to withstand loneliness |
|
|
| I have a PO box because kids around here like to play mailbox baseball and my mailbox was alone and vulnerable and it got attacked a lot(like me in grade school).Once they even stole it.Weird.My mail piles up a lot because I don't check it that often,this then makes the post office lady mad because she has to put it in a bigger bin.Isn't that what there for? I have mostly reptiles and amphibians and they are capable of missing a few meals,my main worry is that who would adopt them.Two of them are rescues.Maybe I should put out extra water for the chickens.I don't always answer the phone(don't feel like talking) but one of my kids(one near here,one on the other side of the country) would most likely notice no contact for a week or so.But the animals do worry me.Thank you for your concern. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Fern
Deinonychus
Joined: May 07, 2011
Posts: 376
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
When I was young I was always oddly alone. My sisters were always hanging out with each other and their friends, but I preferred to be by myself working on something that struck my fancy: painting, modeling clay, writing poems, making comic books... always some project. In college I had roommates, but always loved that time when my roommate was sleeping or out and I had the whole place to myself. No distractions, no noise. Yet, even that isn't enough for me sometimes. When I get mad or emotional about something I typically flee human dwelling places altogether and go outside somewhere secluded to stay alone until I feel better. A friend of mine once likened me to a cat, occupying myself around the house all day long and disappearing whenever I'm hurt.
Until recently I've mostly been like that. It's funny how a person can change though.
I don't remember what happened exactly, but I was very sick, alone in my apartment where I lived by myself at the time, when I woke up lying on the floor of my bathroom with a bleeding lump on my head and a bruised rib. I gather I must have collided with the sink or some other hard object while losing consciousness on the way to get water. Suddenly, I realized that between my sickness and my injuries, I would not be able to get myself up. I realized that despite how independent I may think I am, how good I am at protecting myself from other people, or how happy I am when I am alone, I am a human being who from time to time needs other human beings... and I cannot survive by myself. At that moment I would have given anything for a significant other, or even just a friend present to pick me up off the cold tile floor and rush me to the hospital saying, "It's going to be alright," just like they do in the movies. As I laid there for who knows how long I thought about how I had no one to blame but myself for this. Even the people I love most are kept at a distance in my world. I think about how every now and again a pet cat will disappear and never come back.
I survived, obviously, but now I can understand how frightening loneliness can be. Maybe the key to life for me is not in either extreme on the sociality scale, but in finding the balance between the two.
_________________
This is me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
creative_intensity
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 21, 2012
Posts: 48
Location: Los Angeles
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 4:38 am Post subject: |
|
|
I'm always most lonely when I am surrounded by others. Odd, yes, but it makes sense. I can relate perfectly well on the phone, exceptionally well even. That is because the phone is a strictly verbal medium, no non-verbal cues require. But with others, in small groups even, I am the odd man out no matter who is in the group or how hard I try (or don't try).
This is our quandary - we have learned to relay less on body language and more on voices, on words, on logical inference, whereas others rely on non-verbal cues to pick up on emotional states, veracity, etc. They see our lack of expression and infer a lack of emotion, which sets off unconscious alarms and make them feel uncomfortable with us, deciding we are "off" or weird. It's a simple miscommunication between two subsets of the same species, but because we are the few and they are the many, we bear the brunt of the interaction and suffer the results.
It's just important to remember, it's not their fault and it's not our fault either. It just is the way things are. But awareness on both our parts can help bridge the gap and compensate for the miscommunications that occur. |
|
| Back to top |
|
CyborgUprising
Sgt. Sarcasm
Joined: Jun 17, 2012
Posts: 2903
Location: auf der Fahrt durch Niemandsland
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 10:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I like being alone, so I don't really know what to say. Even as a child, I avoided social situations as much as possible even keeping acquaintences at arm's length. I prefer doing tasks that only need to be performed by one person and engage in activities one can do alone (listen to music, work on art, translating, 40K models, etc). |
|
| Back to top |
|
LadySera
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 417
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Not lately, but hormones are definitely contributing, I hate being female sometimes (a lot of the time). |
|
| Back to top |
|
FLBear
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 10, 2009
Age: 55
Posts: 43
Location: NW Florida USA
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 8:56 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls.
Henry David Thoreau
I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
Henry David Thoreau
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.
Henry David Thoreau
Some writers can speak more eloquently than I.
_________________
Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds - Albert Einstein
Never Try To Teach A Pig To Sing, It Wastes Your Time and Annoys The Pig - unknown
Aspie Score: 170 of 200
NT Score 42 of 200
Very Likely an Aspie |
|
| Back to top |
|
salem44dream
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 22, 2012
Posts: 648
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 9:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| CyborgUprising wrote: | | I like being alone |
I'm amazed at how diverse we all are. I hate being alone more than anything else in my life, yet am completely powerless to do anything about it. I have dreams where I'm surrounded by warm, loving friends who all live in a shared building (very much like Big Bang Theory), and then I wake up to the stark contrast of being in an apartment that I only share with two cats. Cats are great, but I'm a person. |
|
| Back to top |
|
arisu
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 09, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 161
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 12:51 am Post subject: |
|
|
i am extremely lonely. i always have been though i've rarely been alone.
i have siblings, one very close and one still closer than most people are with their siblings. i have friends; i even have some best friends.
what i don't have is a romantic relationship. i'm not #1 to anyone and i'd like to be. even more so, i'd like to have someone to love/adore, etc. i've never dated and it's not because i'm opposed to doing so. i really only seem to be approached by men who are well...unacceptable (either downright sleazy or twice my age, or more often both.)
i could ask someone out but my fear of rejection is too strong. i'd probably just die if i were rejected, lol. (seriously, though, i'd probably slip into depression.) occasionally, i meet men who i find interesting but it seems they don't feel the same way or maybe they're just as afraid of rejection.
i don't consider myself particularly attractive, though i do consider myself an interesting, fun, unique person. most people i know would rate me as attractive though. the highest i'd give myself is cute but i've been called pretty, beautiful, etc.
people often do minor double takes when they see me. as i'm not hideous, i figure it's because i have a somewhat exotic appearance. it's difficult for people to gauge my race, age, etc.
being autistic is an issue too. it's not like everyone who meets me can tell and i feel like i'd have to tell any guy who asked me out right away just to avoid issues later but when do you find the moment anyway?
even if i find a guy who i like, who asked me out, there's no knowing if he'd be really put off by the fact that i'm autistic. one reason, of course, to date someone autistic but alas i don't even know anyone who's autistic in my area, let alone any men i'd want to date.
_________________
"Life can be very confusing...filled with good things and filled with bad things. But it's my life...and I have choices." -Amber Brown |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
