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ghotistix
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 1186
Location: Massachusetts
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 Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:45 am Post subject: Remembering names |
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Does anyone else have a hellishly hard time recalling names under pressure?
I've made tons of acquaintances at my college through my job, and it seems like I can't leave my room for a soda without five different people calling "Hi, Ian!" at me. Up until lately, I've always responded to this with just another "Hey." back at them, but I think it's considered mildly insulting to not use someone's name in this situation (If you really want to know how I figured it out, some girl said "Hi, Ian!" to me, I said "Hi." back as usual, but then she asked me if I knew what her name was. I didn't.  )
Originally the problem was that names would immediately slide right out of my head as soon as they went in, and if you asked me what someone's name was fifteen seconds after I met them, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I'm still not very good at this, but I've at least gotten a little better with practice. The hardest part for me now is actually recalling it instantly. I need a couple seconds for "processing" after I see their faces, and usually another few seconds to make sure I've got the right name. There's nothing worse than calling someone the wrong name. This process takes a few seconds too long for NTs. They generally don't like when someone says "Hi... uh... John!".
Any of this sound familiar? Did you find ways around it? |
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Ghosthunter
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 2473
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 2:24 am Post subject: cursed with not remembering names. |
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I standout a little too much not remembering names. I would go
to a Starbucks and go online, and while I am there try to POLITELY
address the staff to make it a personal experience. It took me months
to remember their names and I could see the annoyance in their faces.
They now just give a "he is a strange person look" and my chances of
getting a job there are now gone. The being friendly part is nice
and is sometimes a curse. |
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berta
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 13, 2005
Posts: 492
Location: Tromsų Town, Norway
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 3:57 am Post subject: |
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I am pretty good at names. Don' t know why, but I think it's because when I used to be very bored in class, and so I memorized the names of everyone in the classroom along with their last names, faces, social status, birthdays etc. But that was only because I had nothing else to do in the classroom.
I have heard that it helps if you repeat the persons name right after they introduces themselves: "Hi, I'm Jane" "Nice to meet you Jane, I'm Jack"
Something like that I think. Or did you try that already. Apparently saying their name out loud once as you meet them is supposed to help you remember.
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TAFKASH
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 11, 2005
Posts: 1097
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 6:49 am Post subject: |
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I'm absolutely horrible at remembering names... there are people in the department where I work whose names I still don't know after 6 years being there.... I never know the names of any streets either which makes giving directions interesting.....
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"They would not shut up 'til they were paid, but they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.... On Wro-ong-Plchchchchchchahhh...net...." |
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Feste-Fenris
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 27, 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 7:19 am Post subject: |
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I can usually remember names... but not always...
School was a nightmare for me... |
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tear
Blue Jay
Joined: Dec 06, 2004
Posts: 88
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:31 am Post subject: |
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| Luckily I grew up in the hip-hop culture. It was just some kind of dap and and "wassup man/homie" and be on our ways. This has just now started to become a problem now that I deal with adults more and more. I usually make sure to repeat their names out loud and in my head. Also if possible write it down. That seems to help and now the hardest part is hearing their names in the first place. |
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Vision
Blue Jay
Joined: Nov 30, 2004
Posts: 86
Location: England
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:48 am Post subject: |
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| Despite being in a small class at college I can't remember most of their names; it usually takes a while for them to 'sink' in. |
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Ghosthunter
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 2473
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:18 pm Post subject: Eye contact and remembering names? |
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Would you say that the lack of eye(silent contact)
would have something to do this lack, or minimal
name remembering? I think it may have something
to do with it, "If you can't see the person, then
how are you to grasp the whole person" |
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pyraxis
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 26, 2005
Posts: 1527
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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| It's partly about eye contact, but for me at least, the first few seconds of conversation where people say their names are an adrenaline rush anyway. I'm too busy trying to catch up and adjust to this new atmosphere for people's words to actually get through. Sometimes I can pull the phrases that were spoken out of my auditory memory a few moments later, and understand them then, but most of the time I'm on automatic pilot. |
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Ghosthunter
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 2473
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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I can see this being a common AS/HFA problem.
The fact that a NT is willing to talk to me is always
amazing. Within the first 10minutes they see
me as a "Strange Person", and this also applies
to job interviews. This forgetting names and the
initial "AW" that I as a HFA person feel overrides
their names. And the good first impression is lost. |
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Jetson
The Map Maker
Joined: Feb 23, 2005
Posts: 1219
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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| berta wrote: | | I am pretty good at names. Don' t know why, but I think it's because when I used to be very bored in class, and so I memorized the names of everyone in the classroom along with their last names, faces, social status, birthdays etc. |
I generally have a terrible time with names. The odd thing was that I proved I can remember things if I try hard enough. I went to a trade school and my course was on was "continuous entry", which means that a new class started every month and ran for 6 months. After I had been there for a while we threw a party for the new class. I got really drunk and decided to memorize every name in the party. Since the new class were all unknown, I spent the night making introductions between the new people and the ones in the classes ahead of them. Next morning I was hung-over but still remembered every name from the night before. Normally when I hear a name it just goes in one ear and out the other. I'm convinced it was the extra step of making introductions that allowed me to do it.
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What would Flying Spaghetti Monster do? |
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synchro
Toucan
Joined: Feb 08, 2005
Posts: 252
Location: California
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I never remember names, even when I remember to do something to make myself remember. Names and numerical data disappear immediately from my memory. This has caused many an embarrassing moment over the years. |
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codeman38
Sea Gull
Joined: Jan 02, 2005
Posts: 223
Location: Georgia, USA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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I'm rather bad at remembering people's names... of course, it generally helps when I can actually see the name in writing. Thanks to auditory processing disorder, when people introduce themselves it generally sounds to me like "Hello, my name is Blah."
Of course, even once I get their names down, I still frequently have a hard time recognizing people due to mild faceblindness... |
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ElfMan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Dec 17, 2004
Posts: 557
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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| codeman38 wrote: | I'm rather bad at remembering people's names... of course, it generally helps when I can actually see the name in writing. Thanks to auditory processing disorder, when people introduce themselves it generally sounds to me like "Hello, my name is Blah."
Of course, even once I get their names down, I still frequently have a hard time recognizing people due to mild faceblindness... |
Blah is such a common name. Everyone I meet is called Blah too 
ElfMan |
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TheBladeRoden
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 11, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 1270
Location: Wisconsin
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I hardly ever talk to people in real life, and when i do it's never proceeded with addressing a title or name, I just go straight to business. That might have something to do with it. |
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