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Adamantium
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08 Aug 2013, 9:26 pm

Tuttle wrote:
PaulaDurbin-Westby wrote:
Do you think my section has anything to do with autism/Asperger's, or did it have to do with marriage problems? Since I was saying that the marital problems had to do with the overwhelming debt, and he was blaming autism, it seems that anyone who "takes his side" will blame autism somehow, and anyone who "takes my side" will blame the financial stuff. And my overarching question about all this is "How on earth is this really saying anything about autism itself?!" Comments appreciated. - Paula


I think it was both - I think there were stuff about autism, and I think there was stuff about your marriage problems.

The stuff about your autism was quite well done. The stuff about the marriage problems seemed like it was "People like talking about relationships and autism so we're putting this in"


I agree but want to add, because from my perspective its REALLY IMPORTANT, that for at least some of us, our autistic traits make dealing with financial problems harder than they might be for some others. I have problems with anxiety and panic attacks, for example, and everyone seems to link this to my autism. One of the things that will trigger extreme anxiety is certain kinds of financial trouble.

Alone, I would have a very dull financial life because I can't deal with anything else, but relationships with other people have required me to get entangled in financial situations I would never be in on my own. And the experience of this is really hard. Panic is no fun at all. And feeling incompetent because of problems you did not want to be involved in is no fun either.

I have gotten into some bad situations and my relatives have wondered what was wrong with me (pre-diagnosis) once they found out about the Asperger's, they seemed to think my history suddenly made sense.

So I think this is a legitimate issue for a look at the lives of autistics to cover. I'm really glad it was there.



DevilInPgh
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08 Aug 2013, 9:53 pm

WhitneyM wrote:
I tried to locate on my local PBS channel it seems is not going be aired here. I think such documentary should be made requirement for the HR people to watch so they can be more aware. Is there any chance of having watch on the Internet.


It should be available online. I'm watching the documentary through the PBS channel on my Roku.



girl_incognito
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08 Aug 2013, 10:18 pm

PaulaDurbin-Westby wrote:
:) I like that idea. Of being paid for some of the advocacy work I do! And, one site says I am "starring" in this film. I am SO not an actress, and the one comment where someone said it seemed like I was talking to the husband rather than the filmmaker- actually I *was* saying that to the filmmaker and the potential audience to explain it to them. Clearly I do not have a future in Hollywood... I have a question to ask, after reading comments here and on another Wrong Planet thread. Do you think my section has anything to do with autism/Asperger's, or did it have to do with marriage problems? Since I was saying that the marital problems had to do with the overwhelming debt, and he was blaming autism, it seems that anyone who "takes his side" will blame autism somehow, and anyone who "takes my side" will blame the financial stuff. And my overarching question about all this is "How on earth is this really saying anything about autism itself?!" Comments appreciated. - Paula


Paula, I saw it as both.
I have been married for a very long time and had some huge ups and downs within my marriage.
The way you perceived the money issue was how I see things, you thought very rationally about them, but you're husband was kind of like "no big deal'
It's like that in my marriage about a lot of issues. I am very rational and I get anxious and he is "oh it's no big deal". I think it shows the differences in our worlds. Autistic thinking vs NT thinking.
I related to you.
Also the way he squished you? My husband does that for me too.
When they first showed you with your son (I think it was outside somewhere) and you were rocking on your feet while standing. I do that. I move like that. I enjoyed seeing you very much
Thank you for doing this. I know the way it was presented in the film made you uncomfortable and I am so sorry you felt that way.



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09 Aug 2013, 8:01 am

PaulaDurbin-Westby wrote:
:) I like that idea. Of being paid for some of the advocacy work I do! And, one site says I am "starring" in this film. I am SO not an actress, and the one comment where someone said it seemed like I was talking to the husband rather than the filmmaker- actually I *was* saying that to the filmmaker and the potential audience to explain it to them. Clearly I do not have a future in Hollywood... I have a question to ask, after reading comments here and on another Wrong Planet thread. Do you think my section has anything to do with autism/Asperger's, or did it have to do with marriage problems? Since I was saying that the marital problems had to do with the overwhelming debt, and he was blaming autism, it seems that anyone who "takes his side" will blame autism somehow, and anyone who "takes my side" will blame the financial stuff. And my overarching question about all this is "How on earth is this really saying anything about autism itself?!" Comments appreciated. - Paula


I saw your section as addressing both. What I took from the parts about your marriage is that sometimes NT partners inappropriatly blame stuff on autism that is just normal stuff. So in addition to living your life you have the additional hassle of arguing with them to take what you say seriously and not blame all dissagreements on autism. I don't know if it says anything about autism itself, but I think it does say something about how interactions with others can be affected by their perception of our difference. I don't know if I'm writing that very clearly, but that was my take.

I want to second the love of seeing how you respond to the water. It reminded me of walking by the river with my birth Mom. We both love the water.



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11 Aug 2013, 3:11 pm

To put the idea of financial stress being more difficult for Autistics into perspective, the total additional amount is well over $200,000 (including interest, which theoretically could be paid early IF I had any additional money to do that, which I don't). It will take 21 additional years of paying the "mortgage," of which 13 are left. I am the only one paying on the mortgage currently. I will bet that non-autistic people would be, um, a little stressed about this too. It is an untenable situation. I am finding the comments here very interesting. Oh yes, please don't send me financial advice! I have been looking at what to do since 2006, and unless someone just sends me cold hard cash, there is not much else to be done than what I have already done.



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11 Aug 2013, 5:44 pm

It real world problem banks take advantage of everyone.



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12 Aug 2013, 11:34 am

PaulaDurbin-Westby wrote:
To put the idea of financial stress being more difficult for Autistics into perspective, the total additional amount is well over $200,000 (including interest, which theoretically could be paid early IF I had any additional money to do that, which I don't). It will take 21 additional years of paying the "mortgage," of which 13 are left. I am the only one paying on the mortgage currently. I will bet that non-autistic people would be, um, a little stressed about this too. It is an untenable situation. I am finding the comments here very interesting. Oh yes, please don't send me financial advice! I have been looking at what to do since 2006, and unless someone just sends me cold hard cash, there is not much else to be done than what I have already done.


Well, I don't know about autistics in general, but I have experienced something similar and it is plain to me that my autism played a role. I think I would have been able to say "no" if I had different neurology and I am sure I would have been able to work directly with the lending institutions when, as it is, I was often unable to communicate effectively. Perhaps I saw similarities in the story that they showed on POV that were not really there. As it is, I am trying to find ways to extend my working life beyond the usual retirement age so that I can continue to pay off debt that I would never have, had I made all the decisions.

I am sure there are some autistics who are financial geniuses and who find navigating this kind of thing effortless. Sadly, I am not one of them.



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14 Nov 2013, 5:25 am

I mostly have wanted to distance myself from the film. But recently, I found that PBS had created a whole page of "did you know?..." statistics about autism. 13 points, most of which were negative, including that "we are twice as likely to die." I asked them to remove it; they did not (so far). I think it should not be included on a site that is supposed to be about positive (mostly) images of autism). So, finally, I wrote a blog entry about it. I am hoping to go back to ignoring the film after this.

http://paulacdurbinwestbyautisticblog.b ... ics_3.html



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14 Nov 2013, 5:33 am

We are twice as likely to die? I knew that there shall be similarities between autistics and cats, but wouldn´t thought of, that I can die multiple. O_o



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14 Nov 2013, 5:35 am

There are a lot of cool superpowers that come with autism. Like multiple lives (that's why we like video games so much. we can relate to getting more than one life).


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14 Nov 2013, 11:09 am

alex wrote:
There are a lot of cool superpowers that come with autism. Like multiple lives (that's why we like video games so much. we can relate to getting more than one life).


I am to uncoordinated for video games


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“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


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28 Nov 2013, 1:26 pm

I would prefer an shockumentary. The kind with all the fancy FX, metal music, and cool dudes with cool haircuts and cool voices and cool attitudes to make it as awesome as possible. One about autism would be god's gift to mankind.



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10 Apr 2014, 8:06 am

I just saw it, I think it was great! (I haven't read the thread, just didn't want to make a new one on the same topic.) It's streaming until April 16th at PBS