Interracial Dating and double standards

Post Reply New Topic

So, for starters, I do not have an Asian fetish. The vast majority of the women I have dated were Asian, however, simply because Asian women are more openly attracted to me than white women are. Facts of life. I don't hit on women who don't act interested, which should just be common sense.

Anyway, the internet seems to be full of talk about the "Asian fetish" and how it's rooted in sexism. So I wanted to make a comparison of stereotypes about the Asian fetish with the reasons why white women, also, often date interracially (not all do so for these reasons, but some undoubtedly do). When you line up interracial daters side by side, it appears that both men and women who do it often do it out of reasons equally rooted in sexism and gender stereotypes.

For starters, it is socially acceptable to say:

Why some white women prefer black men:

http://nypress.com/a-white-woman-explai ... black-men/

Translation: black men, according to this white woman, are more "masculine" than other men. Whether true or not, a lot of white women think this, and it is socially acceptable for them to say it.

Then, there's this website geared towards white men seeking Asian women:



http://www.happierabroad.com/

The site then goes on to bash "feminists" as loud, crass, dominant, and out of shape. Translation: Western/white women are not "feminine" enough.

And here's a study that backs this up empirically:



http://www4.gsb.columbia.edu/news/item/ ... ticipation

Those who bash the "Asian fetish" are morally equivalent to those who speak about "white sluts" who date back guys. In both cases, there is a personal preference rooted in gender stereotypes ("black men are more masculine vs. "Asian women are more feminine"). I am going to say that the term "Asian fetish" or "yellow fever" is incredibly racist. Just like the term "white slut."

Last edited by Tyri0n on 21 Jul 2013, 6:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Ewwww. This is revolting.

This is less and less true every day.

More and more women are wanting to be the man in the relationship these days.

Asian women do seem to be much more gentle and submissive. It's how they were brought up.

Life in America is a different story.

I tend to see it as "milder," "quieter," "more respectful" and "kinder." It isn't necessarily rooted in a man who wants to be a patriarch, or dominate the woman. In my case, I often end up with Asian women simply because I have many of the same personality traits.

So there's that side of it too. Maybe some women who go for more masculine guys are more masculine themselves. Not sure.

It used to be that the man was in charge due to finances in the old days in America . That's simply not the case anymore as women have equal rights now and earn their own wages so they aren't as dependent.

There are ups and downs to the way that family and relationships have evolved over the years, but overall I think it's for the worse.

**I want to edit my post. Not everything about the way things have changed is worse, just there is a 40% out of wedlock birth rate in the United States today.I was in that 40% . But hey you have to take the good with the bad I understand.

Last edited by lost561 on 21 Jul 2013, 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm so glad I'm not worried about my masculinity.
I know I'm a man through and through.
I may be wrong, I'm wrong about a lot of things (it seems to me).
But I believe, and that's the part that the mind deals with, so I'm happy.

(disclaimer: I'm not suggesting any males on here are not men.)

In my experience, when I would say the words "I love you", non-Asian women seemed to hear "Take my brain and do all of my thinking for me", while my Asian wife seemed to hear "Take my heart and treasure it forever" when we met 20+ years ago.

We have our differences, but they seem far less important than the love we have for each other.

Nearly all of the men I know who married non-Asian women 20+ years ago are now either divorced, alcoholic, or dead.

... sorry, no clue as to why ...

There is a very good biological reason why people are attracted to members of the opposite sex from different cultures.
Biologically speaking the more diversity you provide in the genes of your offspring, the better the chance of success for future generations.
Not going into eugenics, but it is well known that more closed and exclusive societies have a higher incidence of inherited genetic problems, such as haemophilia which made its way into the Russian royal family. Inbreeding in any species only accelerates genetic and birth defect rates, and is an issue very carefully considered in endangered animal breeding programs.

We may feel that we are attracted to a certain type of person or a certain race, but there is yet to be any definitive evidence shown that it is really a personal choice or predilection, rather than our genes subconsciously directing us to greater genetic diversity.
Countless studies of dating and relationship patterns have shown that although people may think they know why they are attracted to or able to maintain a relationship with someone on a conscious level, the variables that lead to successful relationships are much more subconscious than conscious. This is the case from initial attraction, to dating to marriage and beyond. Most would say it is just the vibe, or that you feel comfortable and safe with your partner, but would struggle to find words to express what it is that makes the relationship work on a deeper level.

There is nothing wrong with finding someone attractive, whether from your race or another; we're all human after all. What matters is that you treat those you wish to date with respect, courtesy, and dignity, whatever their race, colour or faith. Just don't go pretending you know why you are attracted to them; your subconscious is not as submissive and controllable as you may think.
In fact you should treat everyone with the respect and courtesy you would hope for from them, regardless of your interest in them or otherwise.

I too find Asian women attractive, and make no apology for that. I am married and have no intention of doing anything other than remain faithful to my wife, but that doesn't stop me from appreciating a good looking woman when I see one. I just don't go comparing my wife to others or upsetting her by attacking her failings. No matter what women you are attracted to or end up in a relationship with, it's the individual you relate to above and beyond whatever race they come from.
I think in most healthy relationships there is an understanding that you can look at others, but not take it further, as honesty is a much better foundation for a relationship than jealousy and dishonesty.

Most of this is cultural though. The conditioning that is.
That's where people are going off the rails in this discussion, culture and race are separate things.
There's no way that a girl or guy raised in the U.S. is going to be the same way as if they were raised in their own country, or in a very strong sub-culture.

I don't know if "more masculine" is the way to describe it, but I have noticed a strong co-relation as to how much energy they have and exclude - it seem the more there is, the more likely they are going to go for a much more masculine guy who will be able to handle it with his own.

Lol. My mom is black and native American and my dad is white and they are still happily married to this day. And that goes for many bwwm couplings.

That fits some of my experience with Asian culture too. There's the stereotype of the Shanghai women, talented at business and who primarily manage the family's business affairs in many cases. "Nan nan, bei nu" is another popular saying which means that Chinese culture favors the aggressive (relatively speaking) women of Manchuria and the effeminate men of Shanghai and the South.

Obviously, there is some ugly patriarchy there too. But I think that the idea of women as dumb sex objects is primarily a Western one (the Western media globalized the sexualization of white women). A lot of Western women give up their brains in puberty and think only with their p*****s thereafter (interestingly, studies show that American women start falling behind boys in math about the time the culture tells them to start chasing boys), so it isn't surprising they want a macho capable man to do everything for them, including thinking for them.

Well, no woman should be dropped out of interest because of race, that is absurd. Showing worry about liking foriegn women a lot is just going to make you look worse. Making sure you are polite and know their customs lets them know you are truly making a effort, and care too. I like ladies from different countries, and there is nothing wrong with it.

Asian women take care of themselves. They don't eat lots of choccolate just because they get sweet cravings, they don't binge drink every weekend, they don't cut their hair short once they hit 25, they don't do powder tobacco and they don't wear track suits and Moon boots because it's slightly more comfortable than the alternative. This is why Japanese and South Korean women are so beautiful.

Pretty much.

I think we are more prone to date outside our ethnicity I could be wrong though.

I'm a white guy who likes black girls, the darker the better. I grew up around whites and Asians, so African women are the ones who seem the most exotic and alluring to me. In addition I'm rather sensitive about racial justice issues and have more sympathy for African and Afro-Diaspora people's collective plight than most other whites.