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SteelMaiden
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
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Age: 24
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Location: London suburbs.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks all for the replies.

I get overexcited at times about things. So sometimes I get overexcited about my 3D chemical structure modelling kit, or a textbook I'm reading etc. Sometimes I feel proud too, my IQ, and also my Dad's achievements (I really respect my Dad, he's my role model).

When I get overexcited, I talk about the topic in a very pressurised way. I lose my Social Protocol rules.

I wasn't aware that what I was doing could be construed as egotistical.

But I need something to feel good about myself, I suffer from chronic low self-esteem.
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Phoenix


Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 12509
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SteelMaiden, I don't think you made a blunder. I think he did.

I think some people get unnecessarily offended over things like this, but it's more them than you.

For example, I see people talk about their physical abilities without much issue. IQ, however, is something that one apparently should not talk about.

It seems to me that people often talk about their successes without being shamed for it.

Most people don't even base their subjective judgments of intelligence on things that relate to intelligence. Often it's more "I agree with you, therefore you're smart" or "I disagree with you, therefore you aren't smart."
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rapidroy
Phoenix
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Joined: Dec 29, 2012
Age: 24
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Location: Ontario Canada

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:10 am    Post subject: Re: I made an embarrassing error. Reply with quote

Adamantium wrote:
rapidroy wrote:
SteelMaiden wrote:
I make social errors very often. I think it is part of my autism that makes what I'm saying come across as rude, inappropriate, impolite etc.

Tonight I texted a friend (as part of a series of texts we had sent to each other) saying that I thought it was cool that I qualified for the Triple Nine Society. I just felt happy about myself. He replied with "your IQ is not as high as your ego" and then said "I don't think you have a very high IQ". My IQ is tested by a qualified Educational Psychologist as being 160.

I apologised to him twice but now he won't reply to my texts.

I didn't want to come across as boastful.

What can I do??


I bolded the part where I think you went wrong and insulted your friend, perhaps you should tell or remind your friend how this is one of very few things you have to be proud of to re-humanize yourself.


If thats how it went then I think she did nothing wrong.
The way I read it, the part you have bonded was a thing the friend said, not Steelmaiden.
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KingdomOfRats
autism & ID activist
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Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 5235
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

perhaps its because it focuses on a IQ number as oposed to actual inteligences?
from an outsider view of it,it woud sound like someone cares to much about having something to show/appearances to hear them be joyful over a IQ number instead of being joyful over the actual skills/qualities have got that high inteligence gives?
more realisticaly it starts to make sense though,seeing as have got low self esteem,as its something can show people to encourage feedback which in turn encourages self pride.

try refer to the actual skills have got as a result of having that IQ instead of a number,and people may be less likely to see it as something bad/a threat.
take the hacking community for example,so many genuine hackers [not script kiddies or anons who get daddy to pay for a crappy dDoS program to do all the work] hate being refered to as hackers because of the hacker culture which has been watered down and hate the attention placed on them for their ability,many people with high IQs feel the same way.

society has become so obsessed with putting people on hierarchies of worth based on their IQ,it can be a sore point for some and pressure for others when they hear someone elses IQ.
plus IQ doesnt always determine actual smarts, it depends on how the person uses what they have;theres not much good having a IQ number of ... if it only gets put to ridiculous things like getting drunk/stoned/criminal activities for example.
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skibum
Phoenix
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Joined: Jul 19, 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also think it would be great for you to look at other characteristics about yourself that you can feel good about that don't have anything to do with IQ or intelligence. By the way, I love that your dad is your role model, that is awesome. And that is a good one, you have a great relationship with your dad. Not everyone can say that. That is something you can feel really proud of and really good about. I am sure there are many things about you that you can feel great about that don't involve your IQ. You should be very proud of the fact that you are intelligent, not in an arrogant sort of pride but in a healthy kind. But you have many other things about yourself to be proud of also I am sure. I think when you discover these other things it will help because sharing those things with your friend will relieve some of that pressure she might be feeling and you may find things in common that you can talk about together. But sometimes if your IQ is very high, it can make others insecure because they feel like they can't measure up and that can make them feel hurt. But people have all kinds of great qualities and gifts and so do you, so if IQ is not the only standard by which we judge, then I think it makes things much better.
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savvyidentity
Velociraptor
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Joined: Jul 16, 2013
Posts: 469

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Life has taught me that if I show any kind of intellect people will think I'm being arrogant. Even the way I talk is thought arrogant by people and results in negative kinds of attention or thinking by others. Cannot work around it either as trying to sound casual comes off awkward at times. I think people would forgive all my quirks if not for that.

That's sadly reinforced by the way I think that is sometimes (casually and without intent) arrogant. I can own that.

But maybe it's more an issue of bluntness / lack of social grace to mention IQ. Maybe it's easier to just make some joke about it so people can laugh about it and just not feel bad for not having high intellect.

Someone once suggested to me that using wit is a way around not being liked for intellect - ie only use that side of it publicly.


Last edited by savvyidentity on Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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savvyidentity
Velociraptor
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Verdandi wrote:
I think some people get unnecessarily offended over things like this, but it's more them than you.

For example, I see people talk about their physical abilities without much issue. IQ, however, is something that one apparently should not talk about.

It seems to me that people often talk about their successes without being shamed for it.



Yes, that too. Also arrogance seems much more acceptable when it's for physical things, I guess people see that as well earned through hard effort (as if nobody ever worked for a high IQ!).
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skibum
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love a good sense of wit. It shows creativity as well as intelligence. Sometimes I am witty but it usually comes way after the fact like the next day! I guess I have slow wit! I find myself laughing wishing I had thought to say whatever it was sooner and in the moment. But it's all good!
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skibum
Phoenix
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Joined: Jul 19, 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Savvyindentity, I wrote a short post!! Haha! Very Happy
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savvyidentity
Velociraptor
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Joined: Jul 16, 2013
Posts: 469

PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

skibum wrote:
Hey Savvyindentity, I wrote a short post!! Haha! Very Happy


Lol well done.

When I first got here a few weeks back I couldn't help but to write sermons every time, either that or keep it short. I prefer medium type posts now, guess I've just got less to say about it all Smile

Also I think wit is an acquired taste, that or it's just my excuse for why I don't have it lol.
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