You're too smart & other jibes about being single

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Why the assumption that "I'm easily bored by dull conversation, heads up" = "I am testing your intelligence"? Could you maybe be reading something in there?

For me, it's not about testing a guy -- why would that be interesting or fun? -- but about whether the conversational ball comes back over the net. If the guy has consistent trouble hitting it back...you know, it's not going to be fun for either of us. And it's amazing how many younger guys will insist that they're superman and will have no problem. In my life? I met two guys capable of keeping up the pace. In 45 years.

I actually appreciate the guys' self-knowledge now. I have an okc profile up; it's long and apparently interesting. I more often get guys applauding or thanking me for the read, or asking where they can find my books, than asking me on dates. And that's ironic, but great. They know their own limits and what they're looking for, and I do too. So it's nice to settle in that way. Ironic, but nice.

I wonder if I am supposed to "know my own limit"

Boo and hurtloam:

Okay, which of these is/are acceptable?

I am gay. I only date gay people of my sex; I find that otherwise it's a bad experience for both of us.

I am [religion], and it's important to me that my future partner will be part of my religious community. I don't date outside that group because we don't share enough values and ways of life in common.

Sports is my life. Whoever is with me will have to accept that during [season], I'm gone every weekend. This will not change if we have kids, so if she wants a family man, she should pick someone else.

I am full-on monogamous and don't want to be involved with someone who wants a poly life.

I'm not willing to date someone with a significant mental illness; I am crazy enough on my own, thank you.

I'm extremely sociable and enjoy throwing parties for 500, also I'm running for office. Whoever I'm involved with will have to be cool with being around
tons of people almost all the time, otherwise we'd hardly see each other and I don't want that.

I've had a long career on the theatre, first on the road, then on Broadway, and now on the road again. Whoever I'm with needs to be able to handle a life in theatre and either come with me or handle long absences. I don't date single fathers for this reason. I've had a few insist and it turns out badly.

I am an extremely successful CEO. Whoever dates me has to be similarly successful (or more) and have his own money. My experience is that men who are less conventionally successful or less wealthy start out enthusiastic, but quickly become jealous and competitive, even mean, and accuse me of being a ballbusting b***h who never takes time for them, even though I'm the same woman they thought was great the year before, and no busier than I was then. I believe ambitious men really prefer to be with women who are less rich and less visibly successful than they are. (I'm not interested in dating unambitious men, we have little in common.)

People always want to engage with their betters, but are relcutant to spend time on those who they consider lesser than themselves. Need we remind you of countless females you dismissed on OKC because of their stupidity or interests in shopping and gossip?

I'm not sure I'd be able to tell if I was dating a woman more intelligent, IQ-wise, than me, since by most measures that I care about, and what I look for in a relationship - the feminine instinct, the emotional honestly, the wide-spectrum interpersonal wisdom and social insight, (and the other stuff too ) every woman I've dated has been way ahead of me.

I find everyone interesting to talk to, and as long as they're willing to engage and communicate, there's no end to what I can learn, so I never really get bored talking to anyone.

I'm not even sure if I know what "bored" really means. I used the term as a child, "mummy I'm BORED!!" but looking back, I think I was just over-stimulated and lacking an outlet for my energies, having not yet twigged on to how amazing an interesting the world is.

I don't belittle them nor I believe they should know their own limits, every one of them is free to give a try with me.

I don't belittle them nor I believe they should know their own limits, every one of them has the right and freedom to give a try with me.

Sweetie, allowing someone a 'try with you' when you have already decided that they don't meet your crieria for acceptable girlfriend material IS belitling them. I don't understand why you don't see this though?

I have just met you but I feel confident in saying that this stuff in bold, sir, is a bear faced lie. I bet that you wouldn't have to think very hard before coming up with at least one person who you'd run to hide from in a heartbeat.

Why would it be belittling them? I am not leading them on to ask me out but they're free to try if that what they want to try.

I would not accept them as partners if their life is just about shopping and gossip but I wouldn't have the "How dare you ask ME out??!" attitude; plus some of these shopping girls are friends with me (yet not everything about them is just shopping) and they are better than me in other aspects.

Is it possible your entire orientation here is so competitive that you read everything through that filter, even when it's inappropriate?

I know my limits with skis: namely, I should not put them on my feet. Me and Mr. Olympic Skier - no chance, unlikely we'd even be in the same bar. Does that mean I suck? No. It means I'm a total klutz who doesn't want a torn ACL. Good luck to him with being beautiful on the trails with a good match.

I don't know how old you are, but I'm not interested in guys "giving a try" with me when it's obviously a bad match. It wastes both our time and energy. By midlife, it seems most guys value these things and are also aware that hey, the lady's time and energy might be worth something, too. So they recognize it's not going to work, say something nice about the profile, and wish me luck. It's nice. I don't have to deal so often anymore with guys trying to prove something.

A bare faced lie? A tad harsh, but that's OK! I suppose I should add the extra qualifier " And they're a basically nice person", which would obviously discount some people, but other than that, it's the truth..at least as far back as I can remember.

Think about it.. even if someone is so far "down-the-scale" as it were that on the face of it they had nothing at all of interest to say.... isn't that in itself, interesting? I'd be wondering about the neurology of it all, trying to understand their view on the world. In some ways it's like opening the bonnet of a car. You can see the engine, the workings, and all the other aspects of consciousness and the human condition, and realise that classic "intelligence" is just one layer of a far deeper and more complex system that is the human mind.

Or maybe it's just me.

Our chief accountant is extremely obsessed about snowboarding and surfing - he would check every morning the snow/wave level on a website and he completely rejoices if things are good for the upcoming weekend, and gets bad mood when things are not.

Yet his wife, an auditor, is not the sporty type at all nor she ever engages in these activities.

They are of two different religions too, He's Maronite Christian, she's Sunnite Muslim. None of them is atheist or totally non-religious.

They're completely understanding with each other in every way.

And they have been married for more than 4 years with a child.