Ever worry you'll marry someone you DON'T love?

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Oftentimes, yes, and I bail early if things don't suggest a good future. The last one didn't care to make an honest effort to split speaking in each other's "love languages" 50/50, so even if I made an effort to do things to make him happy the only things I received were ones he would enjoy (not me). I didn't want a stressed-out, couples-counseling marriage like my mom, so between that and our other difficulties I called quits.

Maybe I'm too quick to give up, but having seen just how bad relationships can be I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'm afraid of not taking a red flag as a red flag, and winding up stuck with someone who's unhealthy for me or doesn't think about my feelings. Caving to pressure and staying with someone who's a poor match just because you don't want to be too critical would only make for two unhappy people.

I can't imagine trying to raise kids with someone like my ex, if we ever decided we wanted them or I wound up pregnant. Changing diapers and feeding screaming younglings, most likely also while working my own job, with someone who tunes out even the smallest of requests if they're not the kind of thing he likes. I can see it now... come home from my own job and start dinner for him and the kids... do some cleaning... give him his Words of Affirmation and a bit of Quality Time just for us... and then zero physical (excluding sex) or verbal affection for me but a lot of plain old time together, because that's what he values most so that's what I get. Go to bed and repeat the next day.

Would he even help raise them? Who knows.

Guh, no.

tru true



LOl Cofeebean : )) you put it so plain and simple, gush it's scary
good thinking

Yeah all the time I at least don't want to marry someone who is abusive.

I am exactly the same.

I am afraid I will fail in life, that I will be alone forever, or that I will not marry someone i am truly in love with.

Actually what I worry about is thinking that I have fallen in love with someone, experiencing a rush of emotion and getting married because I think I am in love only to discover that the man and I are not compatible. It freaks me out when people I know get engaged after 6 months of dating. I don't think I could ever be that sure of somoene. But then I am scared that one day I will be so deluded that I imagine that I will be happy with someone and make the mistake of marrying them and find out I don't really like them.

Sometimes I have nightmares that I am the bride at my wedding. There is usually another woman there who I am talking to and I'm saying to her, "but who am I marrying? I don't know this person." Or I have a dream where I am married and I don't know who it is I am married to. We are estranged and I think, "why did I get married?" I don't have these dreams very often. Just once in a while.

yo, peeps get divorced when things don't work out. Just don't be super religious, and you can do what you like with your life.

I think before you marry someone, you should be in a relationship for a year, be engaged for a year and then get married. Also I recommend being about 25 years of age since that is usually when your brain is fully developed.

Anyway back in my middle school days when I wanted a son, I would often have dreams where I was pregnant and I never knew who the father was. My son would have blonde hair and blue eyes like me, so I couldn't even guess what the father may have looked like either. I don't have those dreams anymore probably, because I have no desire to procreate. My dreams now consiste of my having sexual relations with this guy I've liked since high school(I haven't met another guy to like yet). My nightmares consiste of finding out he's married or has a baby, but most of my nightmares are me being late to work.

Id rather be alone than be with someone who who will use me abuse me rape me and make me feel worthless again.

I have romantic love with my husband, it's real romance.

He was from Sweden and I from America, we met on the internet, he was a musician and I worked for a record label.
We met in June, started dating in August. He visited me in November for 2 weeks (the only time we were physically together) and asked me to marry him, I said yes. I moved to Sweden in January and we were married right away, only knowing each other for 6 months, 5½ of those months being internet contact only. I left everything I owned and everything I knew in America, only bringing a backpack with me.

Nearly 8 years later and three children later we are still happily married and still madly in love.
Our youngest has ASD and I as well but it doesn't matter at all to him.

I married for love, romantic love, and it worked for me.

So many people marry for all the wrong reasons, no matter what the reasons are you should make sure they are the right reasons for you.
And there is always a chance that people fall out of love, it happens, but the mature thing is to move on and to be grateful from what you have learned from each other.

luckyy you and your hubby

and you have a point with love and falling out of love


great photos

My boyfriend is afraid of being together with me some day (we are in long distant relationship) and suddenly finding out that he no longer likes me. I'm not sure if this issure has a decision. I am not afraid of me finding out I don't love him anymore and I would cope with him not loving me, but it is not only me who decides about our future.. We'll never know until we try, I think this is the only decision. Or else we could refuse everything right now or later, promising that no one of us will regret) Is it possible not to regret?

Thank you kindly, your gallery is great as well, I love your piece titled "The Old Ages", I am following you on Deviantart now.

Not really. No one would want to marry me anyway, so these kinds of issues tend to resolve themselves.

It isn't that simple. I've never been divorced, but I have ended a relationship with a roomate and that was not a pleasant experience. I was tied into a lease and we had financial responsibilities to fulfil. I couldn't stand the sight of her, but I had to see her everyday. We tried to part without acrimony, but that cold icy-ness that developed as we discussed the financial side of things, transferring payments for the utility bills to her account etc. I can't imagine what that is like when your relationship breaks down with a person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

If you are lucky your spouse will be agreeable and financials will be sorted out quickly, but if you've bought a house together or a car and have to work out who gets what that must be difficult.

It must be more difficult if children are involved. You realize you can't abide this other person, but they are in your life forever because they are the other parent of your children. You are never really free of them.

That is why I am cautious.

^ Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

And of course you have to love the person to marry with him/her but it's not enough.

Distance*
LoveforLoki amazing pictures!
hurtloam

That's exactly what I did. Engaged on second date, married in a month..