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steambubble
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06 May 2014, 2:57 pm

I have a very hard time feeling anxeity, if I understood the definition correct.

I did ask some questions about it in a psychology chat (irc freenode net #psychology), like if there is a word for that condition or any more information that I could research about it. They told me the closest was Autism or Asperger.

I have brush my teeth 2-3 times during a 5 months period, I know it will become bad soon but I still do not care.
I do very rarely get depressed. Its more neutral than happiness.
I didnt open any letters during a 4 months period, noticed that I will get kicked out from my apartment which will result being kicked out from university (which is my whole life) and with big debts from studentloans. I still dont care and all I am doing it keep going to my school and do my work which I've been told to do.
I've been eating the same meal for 2 years now.
I do never miss anybody, even my father or dead mother. I like being alone and just do my work in school.
I will become homeless and have no one to talk with. I just want to know what is wrong with me.

If I do feel anxiety, it does only last for maximum of 1-2 seconds before I focus on something else. Maybe I have a bad short-memory or hard focusing on anxeity-things?

So, is this common for autism? When I read posts here it seems like most aspergers have anxiety.



MindBlind
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07 May 2014, 4:38 am

In my experience, that is very unusual for autism. Anxiety is very common with autism, usually because the world seems very uncertain and frightening when you don't have the tools to survive in it. Most people with ASD that I know or knew growing up had a form of anxiety (myself included) or they were, at the very least, somewhat anally retentive.

But I have met a small number of autistic people who were a little bit like you. They never seemed to have any kind of basic instincts to do with self preservation and seemed to be pretty apathetic to everything.

I don't know why they are the way they are or if its even an autistic trait. Some autistics are quite aloof, but what you're describing is beyond me, sorry.



Raziel
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07 May 2014, 6:16 am

In my experience having no emotions is very common in ppl with psychopathic tendencies.
It could also be a sign for alexithymia, but usually the symptoms present itself differently.


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steambubble
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07 May 2014, 2:15 pm

The major traits of a psychopath doesn't fit me at all, like egocentric. I love to help others before myself. I've lent out money to friends which was for my rent or food. I've almost "starved" a few times because I given money to friends.
I do not manipulate people. I am not a good speaker, I do actually rarely speak. I do not like to hurt people.
I would like to do voluntairly work for anyone as long as there is food for surviving.

I'ts hard to know, since I cant compare with someone else's mind. But I think I am able to see people's emotions but not "feel" their feelings. I cant really know if I can feel my own, its too hard since I cant compare with other "normal" people. I can feel happy, sad and so on, yes.

I felt anxeity today because of the not-opening-letters thing. It comes very hard but its over and totally gone from my mind after maximum 1-2 seconds. This happens maybe once a month, no matter how bad the situation is.


According to Wikipedia, Alexithymia is close related to Autism;
"Alexithymia frequently co-occurs with other disorders. Research indicates that alexithymia overlaps with autism spectrum disorders.[8][41] In a 2004 study using the TAS-20, 85% of the adults with ASD fell into the impaired category; almost half of the whole group fell into the severely impaired category. Among the normal adult control, only 17% was impaired; none of them severely.[41][42] Fitzgerald & Bellgrove pointed out that, "Like alexithymia, Asperger's syndrome is also characterised by core disturbances in speech and language and social relationships".[43] Hill & Berthoz agreed with Fitzgerald & Bellgrove (2006) and in response stated that "there is some form of overlap between alexithymia and ASDs". They also pointed to studies that revealed impaired theory of mind skill in alexithymia, neuroanatomical evidence pointing to a shared etiology and similar social skills deficits.[44] The exact nature of the overlap is uncertain. Alexithymic traits in AS may be linked to clinical depression or anxiety;[42] the mediating factors are unknown and it is possible that alexithymia predisposes to anxiety.[45]"

But some people describe Alexithymia as depression. I am not depressed.
-

I did some research with my father, he told me I had trouble with speech and sligthly Tic/Tourettes as a child. I was also medicated with Sertralin/Zoloft (SSRI), but it didnt work for me, if I understood him correct. For long periods (several years) I did only eat 2 kinds of food. I did not know any of this until now.
The reason why I am here on this forum, is because two friends with experience of autistic childrens asked if I was autistic. These two friends do not know eachother.

I would appriciate more information about this!



DevKit
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07 May 2014, 5:38 pm

sounds like dissociation to me!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociati ... chology%29


I have gone thru it my self for long periods. A few years sounds about right back when i was on a certain med. I had the exact same neglect of things I logically knew were important. Something eventually usually brings me out of it. Both Rx and illicit drugs can cause this state. I think every time I have had it was from Rx drugs.

It is a very uncomfortable and dull living. Get this checked out as soon as you can and scrutinize any Rx or recreational drug use you are doing.



steambubble
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08 May 2014, 5:31 pm

Dissociation suits better, but it feels a bit unreal.

It is mostly triggered by stress or a trauma. I cant really see that in my life.
Multiple personalities seems very unreal, but I've read many people felt the same before they realized it was true.
I do not daydream as when you cant difference between reality and dream. I do however hyperfocus on things all the time. I do remember most details of my waking time.
The part when you "block" the anxiety could be true, since I do feel it once a month for 1-2 seconds. I mean, how does it dissappear so fast otherwise? I remember having these symptoms 10 years back in time, when I was 15 years old.
Some papers also mention depression, derealization and selfhurting, which doesnt fit me at all.

This all could be true, only if I dont notice it because I've had it such a long time it has became normal for me.
I do not drink alcohol and take any medication, not even paracetamol.



Could this be related to autism somehow? Like MindBlind said about some people he met like me.

I am open for more suggestions. Thanks for the information so far.



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08 May 2014, 6:16 pm

I agree with DevKit.

When you mentioned that you didn't focus much on things that cause you anxiety, I immediately thought 'dissociation'.



steambubble
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08 May 2014, 6:51 pm

Thanks for the information, I'll do some more reading about it then.

Could you give me some examples of your experience with it? I wish to know how severe it is for me.
Like I said, I've had it like this constant (not periodical) for atleast 10 years and I do only feel anxiety atleast once a month for a few seconds before it disappears. I am not depressed and I cant really define depression in my mind. I am not lazy, I am a workaholic when it comes to my interests. I have no problem to do some cleaning in some random store, like moving trash or grocery where its suppose to be.

I've been very very close to becoming homeless a few times because of this. When thinking about becoming homeless, it doesn't really upset me, neither do suicide. I have no plans on suiciding, its just neutral when thinking about it. All I want to do is draw, code and experiment with thermodynamics.

My dream is to have a women who can cook for me and she can have all the money as long as I can keep working on my projects.



steambubble
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08 May 2014, 8:03 pm

I've read a few documents yesterday and today about dissociation and its five sub-diagnoses.
I cant really relate myself to any of those symptoms.

When I look on my bad teeth (only brushed them 3 times in 5 months, it has been ongoing for atleast 10 years) in the mirror and think how bad it will become, like the loss of teeth and the pain, I still cant feel anything bad about it. I do understand what will happen, maybe I cant understand how I will feel (the pain for example) later, I am not sure...
So I am trying to feel anxiety about it, but I cant, not even for a second. Just neutral, nothing special feeling.

Another thing that people have told me is that "I listen with only one ear". When people are talking to me, I have a hard time listening or maybe forget what they said. I tend to focus on something else instead. I always repeat words or sentences a few times in my head.

I do understand that I have big problems and they will become huge very soon, otherwise I wouldnt have come here and ask for your help. BUT I CANT "FEEL" IT...



Schizpergers
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12 May 2014, 5:39 am

I seem to be lacking several emotions including typical anxiety as well.
I do feel anger which seems to be a type of anxiety, but I feel unable to worry about anything.
Unlike you though I do keep good hygiene because I am sensitive to smell and like to be clean.
But when it comes to things that most people worry about, I just don't care.
To me most people seem extremely emotionally weak and I don't understand why.
I seem to be missing a lot of the same emotions as a psychopath, but unlike a psychopath I do care about people's well being and don't do things that hurt people. I'm actually very friendly despite not having a lot of the feelings most people have.
I don't know if this is related to my aspergers diagnosis or not. I also have schizoaffective and adhd though but it seems I have my own "disorder" that is not consistant with anything in the dsm.



steambubble
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15 May 2014, 12:23 pm

Its impossible to search for this in any search engine, the results are only about people having anxiety.

When I've talked about this with a few people, their first reaction is "No anxiety? Wow, that sounds wonderful.".
Its bad.. I think that anxiety is a must to live or maybe survive in this society.

@Shizpergers
Anger is more common for me too, but still rare compared to other people. Its the worrying part that doesnt exist for me.
Did you talk about this with your doctor, if so, what did he/she say about it?



USh94
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16 May 2014, 3:18 am

Steambubble I feel exactly the same way. I never feel anxious, except incredibly rarely in a similar way to what you described. I know I should be anxious and that I should be concerned that I never feel anxious, but that's feeling anxious and I don't feel anxious - not even about not feeling anxious.



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16 May 2014, 4:05 am

You're lucky that you can't feel anxiety. I fight with anxiety all the time and it sucks.



steambubble
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18 May 2014, 12:19 am

@USh94
What kind of problems do you have because of that?
Have you idea why we have this or if its related to autism?

@mr_bigmouth_502
I've understand that anxiety is good for you, maybe not too much. Its like an alarm; "This is bad, now do something about it!".



Raziel
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19 May 2014, 10:45 am

steambubble wrote:
@USh94
What kind of problems do you have because of that?
Have you idea why we have this or if its related to autism?


There are also many non autistic ppl out there who have issues like that. Most autistics are more anxious than average. I'm not convinced that it has anything to do with autism.


Quote:
@mr_bigmouth_502
I've understand that anxiety is good for you, maybe not too much. Its like an alarm; "This is bad, now do something about it!".


Yes, anxiety has a certain purpose, but my personal guess is that too much anxiety is worse than no anxiety at all.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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19 May 2014, 8:36 pm

steambubble wrote:
@USh94
What kind of problems do you have because of that?
Have you idea why we have this or if its related to autism?

@mr_bigmouth_502
I've understand that anxiety is good for you, maybe not too much. Its like an alarm; "This is bad, now do something about it!".


Anxiety may be a good thing to have if you're a hunter-gatherer and you're constantly fighting with the elements, but not in modern society.