The UCSB shooter--an Aspie with a rant against women

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trollcatman
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08 Aug 2014, 11:18 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
"Researcher Roy F. Baumeister mentions in his work that while 80 percent of women have historically managed to reproduce, only 40 percent of men have.


One reason is also that women can only conceive once, and then they are "infertile" for 9 months. So the first man to succesfully conceive with a women has claimed her reproductive system for 9 months, while he can still conceive with other women. That doesn't mean the other men didn't have sex with the pregnant women, just that they weren't in time to make her conceive.
If you wanted to quickly and efficiently populate an uninhabited island you would send lots of women and a much smaller amount of men.



tarantella64
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08 Aug 2014, 1:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
I've said this elsewhere, but my experience is that women by and large are pretty okay outside relationships -- the "I'm taking time for myself" business is endemic -- and tend to be pretty picky. Most of us don't, as far as I've seen, go throwing ourselves at men, because we're not interested enough to do that. If there's a particular man we're interested in, we'll go after him pretty vigorously. It could be that the percentage of men women are really interested in is pretty small. I hadn't thought about it before, but most of the men I've been involved with are pretty accustomed to female attention. My recent exbf, the one with AS who struggles to get his life together, has had three women come courting in the last year. I can certainly see why. He's a very handsome, charming fella, mannerly and well-spoken, looks like a great boyfriend and husband manqué. (He does not, incidentally, have a car or drive at all, and is chronically unemployed, has no money, does not have his own place. None of this seems to matter.) If initial courtship were the whole game, he'd be in great shape.


Your anecdotal evidence indicates that there's some truth in the Alpha male theory in pua culture.
Okcupid showed that women find only 20% of men as above average (looks wise only) and the rest as significantly less than average.

A majority of women find a minority of men attractive...yes, sounds pretty much Alpha-thing to me, this whole alpha-thing in pua had been theorized based on this very observation that you are talking about, Tarantella.


I'm aware of this, but long ago stopped pointing out the obvious to those guys: they can remediate this by not being awful. There are a lot of grown, experienced women out there looking for boyfriends and husbands, but they're not going to involve themselves with jerks when they don't have to. They just stay on their own instead, and then the guys cry about what b*****s the women are. Yes, it helps my exbf that he's handsome, but what really gets women is that he talks a great game up front: terrific accomplished background, very attentive and mannerly, great conversation. Soon enough they find out that he's got real problems, and that's it.

The pua types are fixated on things that allow them to avoid growing up and stopping being jerks. They decide that the way to get into that magic 20% they believe in is to have lots of dough and a six pack and a Lamborghini. Not "be a good, emotionally available, responsible, interesting human being who doesn't embrace hatred and resentment for a living, and doesn't fear and despise women."



tarantella64
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08 Aug 2014, 1:13 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
honestly I just wish I could punch and hit a random man so hard for him telling me to grow some balls and man up, be a man, how hate how life and society expects us guys to toughen it up all the damn time


And yet oddly enough I don't want to punch and hit you, but I do think you're unbelievably selfcentered about this. Because this single mother has had to toughen up in ways that would reduce you to a little pile of pencil shavings, and did it. Just like every other single mom out there. Just like most *people* out there. Yes, life is tough if you don't have people guarding you from it and doing for you.

Us guys. Whoo-ee.



tarantella64
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08 Aug 2014, 1:15 pm

trollcatman wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
"Researcher Roy F. Baumeister mentions in his work that while 80 percent of women have historically managed to reproduce, only 40 percent of men have.


One reason is also that women can only conceive once, and then they are "infertile" for 9 months. So the first man to succesfully conceive with a women has claimed her reproductive system for 9 months, while he can still conceive with other women. That doesn't mean the other men didn't have sex with the pregnant women, just that they weren't in time to make her conceive.
If you wanted to quickly and efficiently populate an uninhabited island you would send lots of women and a much smaller amount of men.


Why is anybody in the world taking Baumeister seriously?

Also, the fixation on reproduction here is borderline offensive. I know, it's crazy, but women are more than walking uteruses.



sly279
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08 Aug 2014, 1:20 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
I've said this elsewhere, but my experience is that women by and large are pretty okay outside relationships -- the "I'm taking time for myself" business is endemic -- and tend to be pretty picky. Most of us don't, as far as I've seen, go throwing ourselves at men, because we're not interested enough to do that. If there's a particular man we're interested in, we'll go after him pretty vigorously. It could be that the percentage of men women are really interested in is pretty small. I hadn't thought about it before, but most of the men I've been involved with are pretty accustomed to female attention. My recent exbf, the one with AS who struggles to get his life together, has had three women come courting in the last year. I can certainly see why. He's a very handsome, charming fella, mannerly and well-spoken, looks like a great boyfriend and husband manqué. (He does not, incidentally, have a car or drive at all, and is chronically unemployed, has no money, does not have his own place. None of this seems to matter.) If initial courtship were the whole game, he'd be in great shape.


Your anecdotal evidence indicates that there's some truth in the Alpha male theory in pua culture.
Okcupid showed that women find only 20% of men as above average (looks wise only) and the rest as significantly less than average.

A majority of women find a minority of men attractive...yes, sounds pretty much Alpha-thing to me, this whole alpha-thing in pua had been theorized based on this very observation that you are talking about, Tarantella.


I'm aware of this, but long ago stopped pointing out the obvious to those guys: they can remediate this by not being awful. There are a lot of grown, experienced women out there looking for boyfriends and husbands, but they're not going to involve themselves with jerks when they don't have to. They just stay on their own instead, and then the guys cry about what b*****s the women are. Yes, it helps my exbf that he's handsome, but what really gets women is that he talks a great game up front: terrific accomplished background, very attentive and mannerly, great conversation. Soon enough they find out that he's got real problems, and that's it.

The pua types are fixated on things that allow them to avoid growing up and stopping being jerks. They decide that the way to get into that magic 20% they believe in is to have lots of dough and a six pack and a Lamborghini. Not "be a good, emotionally available, responsible, interesting human being who doesn't embrace hatred and resentment for a living, and doesn't fear and despise women."


idk this really hasn't helped me get attention of women. and the lots of money, six pack and Lamborghini certainly gets those men atttention. whether it gets them real love or not I could care less. as I won't ever have those things. I do wish I did except the lambo. having those things wouldn't nessicaly change who I am as to the bold.

to be honest I am jealous of your ex then atleast he gets to date women even if it doesn't last. seems far better then I could have a relationship that last but get no dates. as having good qualties but being alone is useless. I'd rather have dates and get to enjoy companionship for atleast a little while each time. then be alone forever.

so having those things may not gurrentee you a relationship but it makes you 60% or more likely to get one then if you don't have them.

just as one can have a degee but be aweful at the job, but if having the degree makes you way more likely to be hired then a guy who is good at the job but lacks the degree.



Suncatcher
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08 Aug 2014, 7:17 pm

The first few pages were an interesting discussion.. Now it's just people who believe the ladder theory is the theory of EVERYTHING. I used to believe that crap too when i was younger - like 17 and wanted a girlfriend - and a virgin. Now? it is a silly joke to suck dollars out of losers who think b*****s only want money.

Yeah you can envy people like Dan Bilzerian, but hey.. do you REALLY think these hot girls want him for the person who he is? Those girls are not women!

You all need to get out of your caves and actually start to get REAL LIFE experience before you ever take a look at that pick up artist bible bullcrap again.

I have friend zoned women.
99% of the womens have the attractiveness of a potato to me, even when i consider them very good looking and i do want to have a photoshoot with them.
And no, i am not gay.

And hey, guess what?

GIRLS THINK EXACTLY THE SAME WAY ABOUT US!

So, keep paying your 'desperate' dollars to these PUA websites and still be a virgin next year.

And please, spare me the biological bullcrap about breeding. I mean, even a loser like me had 6 relationships in like 4 years time, all of them were good looking. You can study ALL the bullcrap that is out there about dating and the so called law of attraction (LOL) but it still will not help you in anyway, it will just let you believe things that are not real.. like the loch ness monster



AspergianMutantt
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08 Aug 2014, 7:47 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4zSRkBMPng#t=392[/youtube]


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Suncatcher
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08 Aug 2014, 8:04 pm

AspergianMutantt wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4zSRkBMPng#t=392[/youtube]


QQ :cry:

It must be rough for you, hardly understanding the neurotypical world yet desperatly trying to learn how to pickup women, dating, and the most difficult part of life : getting & sustaining a relationship.

Keep googling man, you will get your b***h eventually..

/sarcasm



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09 Aug 2014, 3:43 am

When I see anyone in an expensive car I think to myself: "I wonder what they do for a living?" I wonder what their job is like and whether it is an interesting line of work or do they work and work and work at a job they hate so they can have a certain lifestyle. I wonder if it's the kind of job I could handle or would it be too difficult for me. I also wonder if it's all bluff and they are massively in debt. Sometimes I just look at the car because I am interested in design and I think "That's an interesting design for headlights. What a clever idea."

Thinking about reproducing with the driver of the car never comes into my mind.

When I see a man who says intersting things, seems quite balanced and reasonable, has nice, kind looking eyes and who seems an all round good sort of person, even if I'm not immediately attracted to his looks, he tends to grow on me and I start thinking about him more and wanting to spend more time with him. It's how he treats other people that draws me to him in the most part. Someone can be really interesting and clever, but if he has a short temper, is moody and takes offense easily I won't go out with him. Negativity and being judgemental about others is a huge turn off for me.

At this point I probably haven't even noticed what kind of car he drives or how much money he has. Someone who is good at his job is attractive to me because of the skills he has, say a carpenter because I'm rubbish at woodwork and I think that's clever that he can make a table and I can't. It's not how much money he earns that is important to me, it's that he is sensible and intelligent enough to be a responsible person that I can share my life with and converse with on my level. I want someone as equally capable as myself on an intelligence level.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Aug 2014, 3:49 am

^ Were you like this 5 years ago? 10 years?



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09 Aug 2014, 4:24 am

Yes, I've always been this way. 10 years ago I thought myself to be madly in love with a man 20 years older than me. He was very surprised by this to say the least. He thought I should be with a handsome, young man, with hair, my own age. But looks don't matter to me as much as personality. Poor guy nearly died of shock when I told him how I felt. Anyway, he told me to look for someone more age appropriate. My first experience of limerance.

Everyone I've ever been interested in has been an interesting kind of man with a good sense of humour, whom I could have good conversations with. My only boyfriend quite possibly has AS. I was 17 when we were dating and he was 9 years older than me. He wasn't a very nice person though, he was the sarcastic type that put others down and that's how I learned that I don't like negative people because it turned out that he was charming at first, but started putting me down too, but if we are talking about the kind of cars men drive, he couldn't even drive, so that's a moot point in my attraction to him. He was an unskilled labourer too, so no fancy home or high income either. I liked him because he was quirky like me and was obsessed with music too.

I now have a crush on someone 5 years younger than me who I did not find attractive at first (I was going to write specifically why, but it seemed really unkind when I typed it out) but getting to know him better I'm very impressed by his outlook on life. He always has something positive to say and he has a lovely smile and people who know him have good things to say about him. My hang up is that he might think I'm too old. His friends are all younger than me and that intimidates me. I see him in passing quite often around town, but don't have the courage to have much conversation. He's shy too. Oh no here comes limerance again!



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09 Aug 2014, 8:35 am

hurtloam wrote:
When I see anyone in an expensive car I think to myself: "I wonder what they do for a living?" I wonder what their job is like and whether it is an interesting line of work or do they work and work and work at a job they hate so they can have a certain lifestyle. I wonder if it's the kind of job I could handle or would it be too difficult for me. I also wonder if it's all bluff and they are massively in debt. Sometimes I just look at the car because I am interested in design and I think "That's an interesting design for headlights. What a clever idea."

Thinking about reproducing with the driver of the car never comes into my mind.

When I see a man who says intersting things, seems quite balanced and reasonable, has nice, kind looking eyes and who seems an all round good sort of person, even if I'm not immediately attracted to his looks, he tends to grow on me and I start thinking about him more and wanting to spend more time with him. It's how he treats other people that draws me to him in the most part. Someone can be really interesting and clever, but if he has a short temper, is moody and takes offense easily I won't go out with him. Negativity and being judgemental about others is a huge turn off for me.

At this point I probably haven't even noticed what kind of car he drives or how much money he has. Someone who is good at his job is attractive to me because of the skills he has, say a carpenter because I'm rubbish at woodwork and I think that's clever that he can make a table and I can't. It's not how much money he earns that is important to me, it's that he is sensible and intelligent enough to be a responsible person that I can share my life with and converse with on my level. I want someone as equally capable as myself on an intelligence level.


Beautifully said, and I couldn't agree more.



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09 Aug 2014, 9:47 am

Eureka13 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
When I see anyone in an expensive car I think to myself: "I wonder what they do for a living?" I wonder what their job is like and whether it is an interesting line of work or do they work and work and work at a job they hate so they can have a certain lifestyle. I wonder if it's the kind of job I could handle or would it be too difficult for me. I also wonder if it's all bluff and they are massively in debt. Sometimes I just look at the car because I am interested in design and I think "That's an interesting design for headlights. What a clever idea."

Thinking about reproducing with the driver of the car never comes into my mind.

When I see a man who says intersting things, seems quite balanced and reasonable, has nice, kind looking eyes and who seems an all round good sort of person, even if I'm not immediately attracted to his looks, he tends to grow on me and I start thinking about him more and wanting to spend more time with him. It's how he treats other people that draws me to him in the most part. Someone can be really interesting and clever, but if he has a short temper, is moody and takes offense easily I won't go out with him. Negativity and being judgemental about others is a huge turn off for me.

At this point I probably haven't even noticed what kind of car he drives or how much money he has. Someone who is good at his job is attractive to me because of the skills he has, say a carpenter because I'm rubbish at woodwork and I think that's clever that he can make a table and I can't. It's not how much money he earns that is important to me, it's that he is sensible and intelligent enough to be a responsible person that I can share my life with and converse with on my level. I want someone as equally capable as myself on an intelligence level.


Beautifully said, and I couldn't agree more.


Yes and yes.



tarantella64
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09 Aug 2014, 10:08 am

Right, exactly. And yes, Boo, always. Back in college I knew a number of rich boys with fancy sports cars and I wasn't interested in any of them. I wasn't even all that interested in having a ride in the cars. I wasn't interested in cars. The boys were interested in cars.

I like my car very much, but if a guy started hanging around because he thought I had a cool ride, I'd think there was something very, very wrong with him.

ETA: Multimillion-dollar apartments in beautiful spots did catch my eye, I'll admit. But once I found out what the maintenance costs on those things I just wasn't interested anymore. Because that's insane, paying that kind of money, unless you're so rich you don't even know what money means. People could use that.

Editing again: just returned from a trip where I stayed with very wealthy people, old friends. The guys who made all the loot are dead now. They were horrible human beings who crippled everyone they spent significant time with. That's usually how you make a giant amount of money: you're a sociopath, and you'll do things sane and kind people won't.



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09 Aug 2014, 11:20 am

I've asked you that hurtloam because often people say that "people change" but I've always noticed it's not the case especially when it comes to this matter, people who were shallow in their 18s are still shallow to this day, and the ones who weren't still aren't.



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09 Aug 2014, 2:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I've asked you that hurtloam because often people say that "people change" but I've always noticed it's not the case especially when it comes to this matter, people who were shallow in their 18s are still shallow to this day, and the ones who weren't still aren't.


That explains why I've seen some profiles of women in their late 20's on OKCupid specifically saying "no nerds" in the "message me" section, they're just as shallow, snobbish and immature as they were as teenagers. I avoid such profiles like the plague, even if the matching algorithm makes me a good match with them.