Sperm donor was AS

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I don't see this as a problem, OP.
I think it's fine for you to donate sperm without informing them about AS.
You have as much right to donate sperm as anyone else, and you have the right not to tell others about your diagnosis.
Maybe they are wrong for asking.
If someone wants complete control over what sperm they get, then they go invent tests for all kinds of genetic disorders and undesirable traits while also testing for the traits they want.
Otherwise, it's teh luck of the draw.
I think it's horrible that people are personally attacking the OP in this thread.
And also the things that they are saying about autism and by eggstension, autistic people.
I guess I know what a lot of people really think about about autism and autistic people now.
I would donate my eggs if eggs were as easy to get as sperm.
Who wouldn't want to get some of my genes?

Or perhaps they were just following legal policies and ensuring that customers are getting the services they are paying for. That INCLUDES screening. If he signed a form and actually lied in order to bypass their checks and balances he BROKE THE LAW. It is fraud.. you don't have to think there is anything wrong with it but there are many laws that people would think are unfair. Regardless people are still obligated not to break them.

A law that discriminates against me is no fair law, and I will not obey unfair laws that are detrimental to my own personal interests and the interests of the autistic community as a whole. I stand by what I did 100% regardless of any potential consequences. What I did was not any less immoral then the policy to screen and weed out my genetic material from sperm banks is. If immoral policies aim to prevent me from reproducing the same way an NT man can, such policies are to be disregarded and ignored. To not do so is a clear sign of weakness and defeatism. There is a lot of weakness and defeatism among autistic individuals, always abiding to laws and rules even if those laws and rules consistently screw them over... like lemming running off a cliff. Why would you want to be like that?

If the law screws you over and neglects your rights as a human being, and you still obey that law, then you are weak and pathetic. Period. I applaud whoever has the balls to not obey such laws, in a form of civil disobedience to those who wish to keep us down... they fear our genes being passed on, they fear us. I for one would rather be feared then ridiculed or made into a stereotype by people who consider themselves superior to me simply for being born with slightly differently wired brains.

Vilify me all you want but at the end of the day, I am the one making a difference and refusing to step aside and let others walk all over me... while others just lie down and allow their rights to be trampled. Life's about making choices, ultimately, and I have made mine. I made it and I will stand by it until the day I die.

To everyone here:

Dare think outside the box! If they tell you "you can't do this because you have autism" or we don't want this or that for you, or hire you, because of your condition... if they tell you that, or their policies say so, you are a fool not to go against such policies and the as*holes making them. Stand up for yourselves no matter the cost, and your life will be a life well lived. If you let people get away with discriminatory rules and policies (as we have done for FAR TOO LONG) then were does it end? Soon there will be tests in utero to weed out AS genes for good, and we are just standing here and letting it happen. How does that make all you hypocritical haters any better then the folks at Autism Speaks with their obsession over a 'cure'? Hell, this is even worse as the goal isn't to make things easier for us, it is to prevent us from reproducing and for those like us to die out so as not be an inconvenience to NT parents.

The law that discriminates against you personally? Ah now we have the crux of it.

You are trying to practice eugenics. Not everyone with autism is able to speak or even how to learn to read and write. You deliberately lied in order to inseminate women who may have said NO to your semen being inside them.

You have taken that choice away.

You have possibly taken away the possibility of your child having vital early therapies which could impact them for the rest of their lives. That is selfishness. That is NOT caring for those children but your own political agenda and I am absolutely disgusted that admin are allowing you to encourage others to do the same.

They are INNOCENT WOMEN and you have violated them with lies. They are NOT trying to "keep you down" that is all in your own mind. You just have a grudge against NTs and you are using innocent children as political weapons.

There is no need to "vilify" you. You decided to post and actually BRAG about what you have done.. and guess what? You have shown no concern for those kids, it is all about YOUR ego and your bs about "they want to cure us" etc.If you really believed you were doing the right thing, if you actually cared you would actually tell those parents so they are prepared. So YOUR child is prepared and won't have to go through the difficulties that your had to endure.. but you don't care about them. All you talk about is imagined NT oppression yet you have the audacity to use a lie to have your semen injected into women who may have said no. You cannot claim to be oppressed while you are taking rights away from others.

t riley
This is not to say don't respond, only to say that there has been 14 pages of this [and counting]. There is going to be no resolution with this person and you seem extremely passionate and emotionally invested. That is to say- what do most get out of continuing to engage with a brick wall except maybe a headache?

Entitled to his opinion [which he is], it is clear he also feels he is entitled to do what he wants, regardless of any rights, privacies or allowances that any other individual is entitled to which his actions may infringe upon.

At this point I'm considering much of his responses to be bait, to be honest. He doesn't much seem to care about any point of view, well thought out disagreement or argument.
I am actually a bit curious about the entirety of the thread.


ETA:

And I will make and observation here:





When I see this kind of stuff it does strike me as a bit unsettling, first because it stands out as behavior seemingly rather grandiose and secondly because it seems to echo writings of those who are clinically antisocial in nature.

How is that antisocial? If the law said, "If you are a Jew, you must wear a star," and if you openly disagreed and as a Jew you didn't wear the star, wouldn't that equally show the same antisocial trait?

As a literal matter, the thread does not violate that rule. That it could be considered sexually demeaning is a matter of opinion; that is how you have chosen to read it; but the OP has never talked about wanting to harm the women, and there is no direct sexual assault involved; he has only talked about what he thinks are his rights (an argument I really have zero respect for, btw) and how he wants to confront the sperm banks over what he consider inappropriate rules.

I despise his position for other reasons, as I have written, but I don't see how you can turn it into a sexual assault.

Personally, I think the appropriate solution would be to encourage full disclosure and not have any rules for completely refusing to allow someone to use the bank. By trying to use the screening rules to block donations from certain people, they are effectively encouraging determined donors to lie. Let the end users choosing the sperm decide, not the bank.

Yeah, STILL refusing to address any of the points I've tried to bring up.

So here is what I've been biting my tongue on since your most recent post prior to this one:

Quite frankly, I get tired of the "my rights" discussion. Your rights END when they run headlong into someone else's, which is exactly what they do in this case. You can talk about standing up for a cause and all that, which is something I am certainly willing to think about, but the concept you have brought up more than any other, as far as I can tell, is what you see as "your rights."

As a parent, I call #*@&*$!& on that. If you cannot think of the needs and outlook of your potential offspring ahead of your own, you have NO BUSINESS actively seeking ways to become a parent. NOT ONCE (that I have seen) have you mentioned how this plays out for your offspring, NOT ONCE. NOT ONCE (that I have seen) have you mentioned THEIR rights, needs or concerns. It is all about YOU, YOU and YOU. I read that and feel that you aren't advancing a cause, you are doing what you want to do because you want to do it, and refuse to see how that could potentially harm the cause you claim to want to advance, AND how it could harm your potential offspring. It is a parent's JOB, regardless of how someone becomes a parent, to put the needs of the child AHEAD of their own. Show me how you are willing to do that. Shoot, you have indicated you aren't even willing to tell your girlfriend about your condition out of fear of her rejecting you (even though you don't think she actually will). Do you EVER think about someone else's rights, or is it always about your own? Wander over to our parenting board and find the "Raised by an Asperger's Parent" thread and soak in how much damage can be done when as ASD parent refuses to consider the effects of ASD on his parenting, and refuses to figure out what the needs of the others in a family are. See how much damage all that does to the image of ASD, and how it fosters discrimination. The vast majority of ASD parents are not like those in the thread, but if your whole focus is your rights? Well, you should never, ever be a parent.

So, PLEASE, tell me that I've read you wrong or missed an important post. That you HAVE thought about the kids and your girlfriend and all the others, and DO care what your decisions mean for them. That you CAN see beyond "your rights" and DO understand that creating offspring means SUBMERGING your rights and desires to the best interests of the CHILD.

Because if you can't, you have no right becoming a parent, IMHO. I don't care if you are ASD, a genius, a superstar athlete, or the president. NO ONE who cannot put the needs of a child ahead of their own should become a parent through any means.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 25 Sep 2014, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Based upon your posts (here and in other threads), I recognize that you are not a troll. I apologize for insinuating otherwise.


Thanks for sharing this. I can imagine that someone receiving a ?specimen? would be quite upset, if the donor knowingly omitted information.


Charloz, you are barely an adult. Once you yourself, get married and have/raise children, and then your children begin contemplating having their own children, come back and let?s discuss the choices you made when you were 22. There?s no question in my mind that you will see things differently once you have more adult life experiences.

Good luck.

Animaster - To me, this is an offensive question. Do you have any idea what you are talking about?

He has spoken as if he wants to punish NTs and has gloated to that effect. I know if I had IVF done and I found out the father of my child lied in order to inseminate me with his sperm I might feel violated. I am not certain if I would feel sexually violated but he does seem to have a grudge against NT women. I would most definitely feel like my reproductive rights had been violated. Regardless I imagine my greatest concern would be for my child's well being and I imagine the desire to have a child could make that a secondary issue. If the child is really struggling developmentally then that is a whole other ball game and it's not fair for parents to be going into such a situation unprepared. I do not believe his claims that it's all about weeding people with ASD out. I have known couples who have had IVF and they tend to choose donors that are most like them. He talks about discrimination and the law as if his rights are being stepped on but no-one is forcing him to use IVF and it is meant to be a service for infertile couples. He has decided to enter into a world that has nothing to do with him and he is quite capable of fathering children so I see no oppression there whatsoever.

As do others.


Agreed. I think this is what concerns me most of all.. and that others may think it is morally okay too. He is coming off as fanatical and the world has enough fanatics as it is. ASD is not a religion or creed it is a diagnosis yet some are treating it like a religion or "elite club" which is disturbing to me.



I agree with you 100% on this. If it were a school or a workplace or he was being denied services in every day life then I'd say hell yes that is discrimination. IVF however is a medical service designed to help infertile couple have the families they crave for. IVF is not there to fulfill the whims of men to father as many kids as possible just to spread their genes for political reasons.

In any case yes my head does hurt from this brick wall. He does not care about the actual children he is fathering.. however he may care in twenty years when they turn up on his door step.

Even if it was a workplace turning someone away, I don't think it is necessarily discrimination, it all depends on why. Like, if the person's symptoms are severe enough that the accommodations they need are unreasonable for that employer to provide, then the employers have every right to not hire someone on that basis. It's only discrimination if they do so without a good reason, like if they simply said, "We won't hire you because you have Asperger's." or if they were unwilling to provide reasonable accommodations; that would definitely be discrimination and it is wrong. Which I'm pretty sure that is what you were saying, so I do agree, I just wanted to point that out.

As far as the original issue given by the OP, I know my opinion probably won't change a whole lot with this discussion, but I do agree with the people who say it is immoral to knowingly withhold that information. I agree because, like riley said, the purpose is not to allow men to spread their genes, it is for the couples who can't have children on their own to be able to have them. That has nothing to do with the rights of the donor, so withholding relevant information is infringing upon that prospective family's rights.

I totally agree with this. It bothers me a lot, because I understand the viewpoint that people with ASD should not be viewed as defective or useless, but some people are taking it totally to the other extreme. They say things that imply they think they are better than those who don't have it, which is quite hypocritical considering that this is what they claim others are doing to them; even if a person simply calls it a disorder in conversation, without even the implication of animosity, some people flip out about it, assuming the person is calling them defective. Calling it what it is isn't discrimination, it is simply being realistic, because like you said, it is a diagnosis, not an elite club, and it wouldn't be one in the first place if it didn't cause difficulty in some (or many) areas for those who have it.

I think one simple option here is for sperm banks to open their donor repositories to anybody (including people with disabilities), the proviso is that there is full disclosure.

That way if a parent proactively wants a child who had one biological parent with autism, Downs or other heritable traits it's there on the public record.

There will of course be no way to stop donors like the OP from concealing their diagnosis,