Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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Why are you being rude?

I don't understand how the numbers work and that's my question.
A- I just want to be able to understand the chart since everyone else seems to get it and obviously I dont. So I feel kind of stupid and I don't like feeling that way.

B- If it's so easy for everyone else to see it, evidently I've missed something blinding so it shouldn't take you very long to explain the numbers to me so we can all be on the same page. It shouldn't be so much to ask if I am trying to meet you in the middle, which I've been trying to do this entire time, even though you are coming from an insistance upon the idea that you are some how defective [which I don't buy].


I notices that the poster before you raised similar questions to mine, only you responded singularly to me.

If this is how YOU personally treat women: Just accept it and don't ask questions, it may possibly be some insight into your troubles.

My [asd] boyfriend doesn't tend to do that.
Oh.

ETA:
But I get the hint
ASD men ask about dating women.
Autistic women want to respond.
Input from ASD women is unwelcome.

...again, there may be some clues here as to the predicament you find yourself in, billiscool.

I'll go dare to ask questions elsewhere haha.

I get along with women.Most women are not feminist,or least
the one's I meet aren't.I've had 4 girlfriends before.

I guess the truth hurts

The asd make a higher % of single men than of taken men, about 5x times more (4.5/0.9) the prevelence (of each group, single and taken seperately).

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 12 Sep 2014, 1:04 am, edited 2 times in total.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Some men will project their bitterness externally and women are the first easy target. I find the Autistic ones that are single rarely put themselves out there, I have steadily dated women and I'm with a beautiful woman now.

The ones that struggle do not approach many women, ask them how many they have approached? You will never get a response.

I think bill is one of the guys who approaches a lot of women.





You know why? because It's none of your business really , when I was in dating mood I've asked whoever seemed interesting, kinda compatbile and attractive to me and those don't come in mass, yeah I know I would have got more chances if I'd asked out every breathing single woman available on the list but hell no, won't never do it.


And you keep boasting about your beautiful woman over and over again, without saying much else about her, let's see 10 years forward if you're gonna stay loving your "beautiful" woman when she's no longer...god forbids...beautiful, that would be the real test of your love.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 12 Sep 2014, 11:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

i suppose if you restrict what it means to approach. I don't go to bars and hit on women. I did message women on sites and still do every so often. the general response is i'm not good looking.

so yeah if a good looking man approaches women he'll likely get dates, if a ugly one does he'll be called a creep and rejected. and if both don't approach women then nothing happens.

I've constantly been putting myself out there, hasn't been successful. I start to dislike you " i get tons of dates, it's easy. so those who an't just aren't trying" same logic as " I have a job and those who don't have jobs are just lazy" so near sighted.

lol.I've had 4 girlfriends,approach and talk to alot of women,and believe
it or not,women actual get along with me.

Thanks for posting some more objective evidence. I have to admit it was kind of difficult to understand this table even after going to the document and reading more, but did find out it was done in England in 2007 and at that time their estimate was that 1.8% of the adult male population had ASD.

I looked up a few more, more recent studies and both showed a lower marriage rate among men with ASD then the general population. The most recent I found was from Canada in 2013:

"In a study done by Toronto?s Redpath Centre, just 32.1 percent of people with autism had had a partner and only 9 percent were married. This contrasts with the statistics of the general population where about 50 percent of adults are married."

Within that study however it was noted that while ASD marriage rates where very low at younger ages, they spiked upwards as autistics got older.

Well you are saying you are not a handsome guy, Sly, how do you know you're not a handsome guy? Did someone tell you that you were not? See this negative self image portrays in your inner confidence and the image you project to the world...

It is not impossible in my opinion. Back in high school I had a relationship with someone for about 4-5 months, and she was the one that sought me out. It ended because I was starting college and she was starting senior year of HS and we were more than an hour away from each other, but we are still friends to this day and that is all I care about in the end.

I haven't had a relationship since, but there are women that will accept you and love you for who you are. You may have to search around for a while for the right one, but they are out there. I really believe that good things come to those that wait, though you should take action whenever possible. It may not happen right away, but if you want something badly enough, in one way or another you will get what you want.

I feel like a majority of my problems are caused by me approaching women. If I could just not have feelings and not approach them and talk to them and then not get rejected....that'd be super. I approach women all the time, and they are all equally ambivalent to my existence as anything other than just a friend. I die a little inside everytime I hear the phrase "just a friend"

Whether you are objectively handsome or not, always go through life with your head held up high, pretending that you are. Even if people have told you you look like s**t in the past, ignore all they said. Force yourself to look at your own face in the mirror, and tell yourself you are a handsome Motherf***er and any girl (or guy, I don't discriminate) would be lucky to have you. This is the only way to do stuff.

As far as AS and dating in general goes? I have never heard AS causes one to be less authentic, less charming or less funny. And those are attractive traits in any person. I am not the handsomest man in the world though I would love to be, but I am not bad looking either. I am tall-ish and well built, and I can make a joke easily to make someone laugh and break the ice so to speak. As a result I never had trouble making people like me... the problem was always with deeper bonds, with real friendship or lasting relationships. I've had flings, I got around, but nothing ever came of it until about a year ago when I met my now-fiancée.

We have to not forget that not all people on the spectrum are identical. Because one guy stays single for too long doesn't mean others will. There are probably thousands of people who are somewhere on the spectrum but who camouflage so well, adapt so well to their surroundings, that you'd never in a million years guess they are "one of us". Hell, maybe they weren't even diagnosed? Lots of women, I hear, are only diagnosed later in life. And plenty of men too. It happens fairly regularly that a child is diagnosed with AS and the parents are asked if they have some of the traits associated with it as well. And it turns out the father or mother (or even both!) actually has it.

Having Asperger's isn't a death sentence to your love life, that's the biggest BS I've ever heard. It can be a complicating factor, certainly, but so can being morbidly obese or having burn wounds, or being cripple or blind or deaf or what-have-you. And still the most unusual of couples exist, of outgoing men and silent women, of tall women and short men, of fat women with skinny men, of older women and younger men or vice versa... there are so many couples that seem 'mismatched' outwardly, so many people that you would never guess could get a date in a million years, and yet they all get around one way or another. Nobody is incapable of being loved, or loving someone else.

...while I [sort of] appreciate this response Alexander, it almost seems like you and Bill could possibly even be two sides of the same coin? ...and if I am not particularly helpful in this thread, neither of you seem to be either- since one of you is insisting that ASD men have all this trouble dating yet then has stated repeatedly that he specifically has no trouble dating and then the other constantly boasts about his very beautiful girlfriend who gets lots of attention, yet offering no substantial assistance or legitimate encouragement [only really "what's your problem"], while other individuals are discussing difficulties they are experiencing.

Since I have been labeled as feminist [which I don't actually identify as] apparently I don't belong in the conversation. I don't actually think that, but this was becoming mildly annoying at some point. I don't need to be treated like a child who can't hold her own either. Not "first time at rodeo". Thanks though.

Note to sly, even though my opinion has been declared irrelevant: I got along with my BF WAAAY before I knew what he looked like and had already developed a great friendship [see: established compatibility] before we physically met. I don't think he is traditionally "handsome" but I am deeply attracted to him. Point two: I have never ever gone to a bar, party or anything like that to meet anyone of the opposite sex and it's usually sucked on the rare occasion that a guy has tried to use that opportunity to express that kind of interest. I'm there to find a corner with a couple people and be silly, not be intruded upon.

Also what Boo says about not hitting on every person out there, but investing energy only in those that might be compatible is worthy of thinking about. [If I got that right, that is]

Honestly, I think you're constantly being a big drama queen in this thread "Boohoo, I feel so unwelcome" , "Boohoo probably because I am asd woman"; he simply disagrees with you and he simply believes that asd men struggle in dating (and he's showing sources to back his claims, and even your sources show that asd struggle socially). And I can't see where it shows how he treats women in all his posts here, or why even him saying "most ASD men struggle in dating,accept it." is considered rude for you and indicative of how he treats women; your assumptions are so baseless and make little sense.

Seriously, grow a spine shall you.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 13 Sep 2014, 9:14 am, edited 2 times in total.

Being mildly overconfident does tend to produce better results than having a realistic assessment of the situation - studies support that. Unfortunately, I don't see how it's possible to become overconfident on purpose. I mean, if you know you're overconfident then aren't you, by definition, aware of the real state of things? Sure, you can stand in front of the mirror and say the words, but I don't know how it's possible to actually believe them. If you can do that... well, I envy you.