Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

Post Reply New Topic

Whether you are objectively handsome or not, always go through life with your head held up high, pretending that you are. Even if people have told you you look like s**t in the past, ignore all they said. Force yourself to look at your own face in the mirror, and tell yourself you are a handsome Motherf***er and any girl (or guy, I don't discriminate) would be lucky to have you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Some men will project their bitterness externally and women are the first easy target. I find the Autistic ones that are single rarely put themselves out there, I have steadily dated women and I'm with a beautiful woman now.

The ones that struggle do not approach many women, ask them how many they have approached? You will never get a response.

Honestly, I think you're constantly being a big drama queen in this thread

he simply believes that asd men struggle in dating (and he's showing sources to back his claims, and even your sources show that asd struggle socially).

your assumptions are so baseless and make little sense.

Seriously, grow a spine shall you.

See above.

So... wait... was this your version of a pleasant and welcoming greeting [as opposed to something trying to get me to go away- so hard to tell the difference]?

By he I meant bill.

It's a forum, and forums are basically made for discussions - I don't have to greet you in every thread , if you want greetings you can check the "introduce yourself" section.

Ah. In regards to references- if you notes there, I also explained why his references kind of sucked but also said I was open to looking at others that didn't suck. I actually backed this up, when YOU posted a more reliable reference when I legitimately asked you for clarification on it because I couldn't make the numbers work in my head- it was at that point that bill did the equivalent of "shut up and accept it" and you really failed to provide an adequate explanation. It's not unreasonable to ask to understand the information presented to you if someone is presenting it to support their point- which I wasn't actually really totally arguing against in the first place. I just wanted to understand the chart.

sarcasm I see

The good news is that once you do attract one woman and crack it, you attract other women. It's a lot like learning a language or programming language, once you learn, learning others isn't as difficult as long as you practice the principles and stay up to date.

You guys need to be persistent and confident, it only take a one girl to bring you happiness.

You just now noticed this?

obviously I feel Asperger's hurts men more than women

Well you are saying you are not a handsome guy, Sly, how do you know you're not a handsome guy? Did someone tell you that you were not? See this negative self image portrays in your inner confidence and the image you project to the world...

Note to sly, even though my opinion has been declared irrelevant: I got along with my BF WAAAY before I knew what he looked like and had already developed a great friendship [see: established compatibility] before we physically met. I don't think he is traditionally "handsome" but I am deeply attracted to him. Point two: I have never ever gone to a bar, party or anything like that to meet anyone of the opposite sex and it's usually sucked on the rare occasion that a guy has tried to use that opportunity to express that kind of interest. I'm there to find a corner with a couple people and be silly, not be intruded upon.

Also what Boo says about not hitting on every person out there, but investing energy only in those that might be compatible is worthy of thinking about. [If I got that right, that is]

Whether you are objectively handsome or not, always go through life with your head held up high, pretending that you are. Even if people have told you you look like s**t in the past, ignore all they said. Force yourself to look at your own face in the mirror, and tell yourself you are a handsome Motherf***er and any girl (or guy, I don't discriminate) would be lucky to have you. This is the only way to do stuff.

As far as AS and dating in general goes? I have never heard AS causes one to be less authentic, less charming or less funny. And those are attractive traits in any person. I am not the handsomest man in the world though I would love to be, but I am not bad looking either. I am tall-ish and well built, and I can make a joke easily to make someone laugh and break the ice so to speak. As a result I never had trouble making people like me... the problem was always with deeper bonds, with real friendship or lasting relationships. I've had flings, I got around, but nothing ever came of it until about a year ago when I met my now-fiancée.

We have to not forget that not all people on the spectrum are identical. Because one guy stays single for too long doesn't mean others will. There are probably thousands of people who are somewhere on the spectrum but who camouflage so well, adapt so well to their surroundings, that you'd never in a million years guess they are "one of us". Hell, maybe they weren't even diagnosed? Lots of women, I hear, are only diagnosed later in life. And plenty of men too. It happens fairly regularly that a child is diagnosed with AS and the parents are asked if they have some of the traits associated with it as well. And it turns out the father or mother (or even both!) actually has it.

Having Asperger's isn't a death sentence to your love life, that's the biggest BS I've ever heard. It can be a complicating factor, certainly, but so can being morbidly obese or having burn wounds, or being cripple or blind or deaf or what-have-you. And still the most unusual of couples exist, of outgoing men and silent women, of tall women and short men, of fat women with skinny men, of older women and younger men or vice versa... there are so many couples that seem 'mismatched' outwardly, so many people that you would never guess could get a date in a million years, and yet they all get around one way or another. Nobody is incapable of being loved, or loving someone else.

cause and effect. while you might assume the wrong. cause:me thinking i'm urgly, effect put off to women.

the reality is cause: 98% of women I've met have told me i'm ugly/unattractive. effect: I accept the reality that i'm ugly and feel bad.

now have I ever thought I was handsome or good looking no. I use to think I was neither at some point. but 10+ years of being told you're ugly gets to one.

the question how does one change the ideal without experiencing positive experiences.

lets examine the the 2%. most are family/friends. they are in most cases required by family social values to say one is good looking even if they are not. to make them feel better. realty is that family wouldn't tell if a person is attractive as that would be incest which most don't do. so it not like they saying it is likely true. and if so impossible to know cause if they were lying to make you feel better the last thing they would do is tell you so.

the rest , a woman I knew online and never met could have all been a lie including her identity.
a woman I met on okc, who later confessed to compulsive lying.
so neither are trust worthy then add the 98% that say the other. so I have yet had a completely trustworthy woman say I am good looking and mean it and stick around. I somewhat acknowledge the possibility that some woman out there might legit find me attractive, but the matter is how to find her if ever I will.

mean while I accept that I simply do not meet the ideal facial attractive traits to be considered handsome by the majority of society.

cause and effect. while you might assume the wrong. cause:me thinking i'm urgly, effect put off to women.

the reality is cause: 98% of women I've met have told me i'm ugly/unattractive. effect: I accept the reality that i'm ugly and feel bad.

now have I ever thought I was handsome or good looking no. I use to think I was neither at some point. but 10+ years of being told you're ugly gets to one.

the question how does one change the ideal without experiencing positive experiences.

lets examine the the 2%. most are family/friends. they are in most cases required by family social values to say one is good looking even if they are not. to make them feel better. realty is that family wouldn't tell if a person is attractive as that would be incest which most don't do. so it not like they saying it is likely true. and if so impossible to know cause if they were lying to make you feel better the last thing they would do is tell you so.

the rest , a woman I knew online and never met could have all been a lie including her identity.
a woman I met on okc, who later confessed to compulsive lying.
so neither are trust worthy then add the 98% that say the other. so I have yet had a completely trustworthy woman say I am good looking and mean it and stick around. I somewhat acknowledge the possibility that some woman out there might legit find me attractive, but the matter is how to find her if ever I will.

mean while I accept that I simply do not meet the ideal facial attractive traits to be considered handsome by the majority of society.