Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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To answer the main question: No.

I'd say the answer is yes.

The majority don't.

In having some type of HFA, one size does not fit all. There some people that have some type of HFA that are married or in a relationship. Instead of saying that since I am in a relationship everyone else can/should be as well, accept that everybody is different. I used to think that I needed to be in a relationship to be fulfilled as a human being; thank goodness I don't anymore.

This year is the first year that I managed to get a gf, that was not over the internet.

So maybe this makes it special, almost like I won the lottery.

However I would like to think that most people go through this, both of us found each other attractive. I didn't really have to impress her, she was interested in me from the start. She wasn't just polite, because she could have declined politely, but she didn't... See the difference?

Most people also say, they will find you interesting if they can relate to what you have to say. I did try to find commonality in our conversation. It wasn't an effort. If there was nothing then I would have to move on, because only being attracted to each other sexually isn't going to be good for the long run.

So moving on is key. I have to say I have taken some bold steps. Offering her a lift back to her home, asking her out for coffee. My anxiety was going through the roof, but I did it. And now if someone declines me, I know now it would just be best to move on if they politely decline. In my view, politely decline, would be, not now, next week kind of thing. The difference is, if they were interested they would go with you soon and not delay. Yes there are what ifs, but most likely rarely going to happen, even if it does, then you miss out on the opportunity but remember that there is always a next time with someone else. I know it is hard to swallow, especially if you have put in so much effort already for it to crash and burn.

So it worked for me, because the environment was conducive to meeting people. I went to a meetup where this specific group's soul purpose was to do random things, not a specific interest. Plenty of members coming and going.

I just put it out there.

I'm 35 and I'm now going to EMDR therapy. My therapist is dealing with my Aspergers. I have intuition, but not when it comes to people, but objects/things.

Aspies can find love. We just need to work harder on the ability to understand our partner's emotional ques. I was able to find love in high school, and I feel could find it again. The overall issues that I think some of the male aspies( and female if so) on this site go though is that we don't really think of self value in a love relationship. Overtime, loneliness can overwhelm our thoughts of finding the right partner. We become so depressed, and disparate over finding love.

Probably not.

really you serious? well glad i'm not alone, and it surprises me because usually it seems there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers in the world of dating and relationships, as for what Dantac says that the majority of male aspies don't ever get a girlfriend, is there any evidence that proves that? because deep inside my mind, heart and core i don't want to believe that, don't want to let A.S. stop me or prevent me from getting a girlfriend.

I got my first GF at 22 as a college senior. Before that I struggled with the dating game. AS was virtually unknown then and I had no idea what I was really up against. I remember going to the school library and reading a dating book written for women (they did not have one for men) to sort of get an idea on stuff. One thing that stood out was women were advised not to date men which were inexperienced at dating or had no friends. I put this down in my "play book" and made up some lines (plays) that I was experienced and had frineds (even if I had to develop a mythical acctg internship in Cali as a backdrop) Now you have this site and Social Media. I married her at 24 the day after she graduated. She was 21.

I would advise go to a strip club where they pursue the men. Take some lap dances, get to know the girl. With the right offer she may meetup with you for sex. Dress up in a sports coat like you have a 9-5 professional job. Perhaps a business card to support that (fake or real). As you get more experienced as a SC hobbyist your confidence and skills will increase. Shopping money is to women like sex is to men. Remember, its about money with them....... A

from reading posts online, the vast majority of guys with A.S. do experience having a girlfriend in their lives, i'm guessing the guys with A.S. who still haven't had a girlfriend and are well into their 30's, 40's or even 50's, must be doing something wrong, but not be trying hard enough to overcome their disability.

I would like to add a new twist to the conversation by sharing my experience. My mom is clearly autistic and is where I got my autism from. She should never have gotten married and definitely should never have had kids. She does not have the ability to have a relationship that is that intimate. When my dad divorced her, I understood exactly why. I wonder why he stayed with her for so long. So what about NT's who are married to aspie females? The stereotype is the hapless aspie guy and the long-suffering wife, but my experience was the exact opposite.

By the way, my mom has poor hygiene, was incredibly emotionally abusive to me and my father when I was growing up, going into a rage everyday because she was forced to be in a situation she wasn't suited for (living in a house with a small child and a husband who wanted her to be normal.) All she ever wanted to do was in engage in her routines. When my dad left and when I got old enough to take care of myself (and leave her alone to do her special interests), she became happier and happier. She is living the life she wants to live, which is a solitary one.

I am not saying that all aspies are incapable of marriage or being parents, but there is a certain level of social interaction and intimacy that is expected in relationships like that, and due to our AS, some of us are not able to fulfill those roles. Obviously others of us can. The proof is that we have married members of wrongplanet who are good parents.

I find it disingenuous to say that AS is not the reason behind the marriages tarantella mentioned breaking up. A certain level of social functioning is expected by the NT spouse. The aspie cannot function on that level. This leads to unhappiness in both partners. I would chalk it up to being incompatible. The NT partner needs someone who can meet his or her expectations. The aspie needs someone who likes them and does not mind their aspie traits, or in some cases, the aspie needs a non-traditional relationship, one that does not require the intense social interactions typical of a marriage.

must believe that I can fulfill that role

My big issue is I just don't have any social network to use, my friends who are NTs are worse then I am at socializing which may explain why we became friends in the first place. I just can't feel comfortable flirting with a women right away or even having sex. People touching me makes me uncomfortable and would take me awhile just to get used to but the way relationships work now it is all so rushed.

first gf at age 35?

Overall, i have been having these negative thoughts in my head telling myself that due to aspergers it will make it impossible to get a girlfriend, and at the same time trying to install a sense of belief that it is not hopeless

There most be somsomething wrong with my personality that people don't tell me because I look good but never had a bf at 22. So it also happens to girls

well hope it does not remain permanently hopeless for us