lying to women on dating sites?

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I just had to look up "mudding". Well, I learnt something to today.

Anyway, I always get mixed feelings when I read posts about the whole "job/car/place" thing. I don't know whether to feel fortunate, because those things are not a problem for me or unfortunate, because I feel I have no hope of ever getting a partner despite those things not being a problem.

So I would just caution you to not pin all your relationship hopes on the financial aspects of your life. Certainly, improve your life situation, but do it for yourself, not because you think it will be the answer to all your relationship problems. Because it won't be.

I had to look it up when I first heard it too.

It's complicated. having those things like other aspects doesn't guarantee a relationship. but not having them is harmful to getting one. just as being gorgeous doesn't mean you will get one, but being the hunchback type will almost certainly be harmful.
I see all these women that I would match up good with. I am the type of guy they want and they seem the type of woman I want. but they won't consider me cause I don't have a decent job/place.

I suppose I am doomed even if I get a job as I won't have my own place if that means living alone in an apartment/house. In reality I do have my own place ish. I rent with family which is same a renting with strangers as roommates, just safer. I can't bring myself to kick my family on the streets just so I can say I have my own place. so it seems wise to wait til I have a long term gf that would want to live together, but that's the paradox I suppose.

if we are talking just general or technical. I have a 94 corolla, I work at lane community college, and rent a place with family(not from family) but the ones I talked to did not consider those real job/car/place. which is why my sister suggested I lie about it in order to message the women.

You don't need to look further than our closest relatives. In chimpanzee packs, everybody f***s everybody as long as they find each other attractive. Most primitive tribes practice polygamy, and monogamy isn't the standard in any country that wasn't ruled by or heavily influenced by the Roman empire.

Any lie has to have a well developed lie system. Lying on dating sites is like job search lying. If your good at it then it will be very rewarding.

As far as dating sites I would develop a profile that gets you dates. Being able to present you have a good or successful career is vital. I date women from a sugar dating site. I inflate my income and net worth and have never had them question this (at least not openly). While I am a professional with a graduate degree and good job, I am not wealthy.

Lying on dating sites depends on what your goal is. Is it just short term fun or what is it. The priority should be getting that first date and maintaining the relationship. All things eventually and so do relationships.

That's interesting. So what is your goal?

Do "sugar babies" work out cheaper than prostitutes? I'd have guessed "no", since the "sugar daddy" is assumed to be rich. So even if you're lying about being rich, you still have to pay a lot, as if you are, right? And if you do that then I suppose they don't care too much whether you actually are rich or not.

I'm against lying, incl. on dating profiles.

Lying bothers me & is way too much hard work, I don't want to unless I absolutely have to for safety reasons-
and I don't want to interact with someone who lies any more than necessary.
That just means we're both giving out a lot of bad data, which is a waste of both people's time, IMHO.

I'm a female, and stating in the profile my true income (SSI doesn't amount to much), my lack of transportation (can't drive), lack of cell phone, etc. makes me a less appealing prospect for many.
I don't want to "sabotage" myself in the least, but adequate funds, a car, and mobile device are "normal/typical" expectations that many people seem to have esp. nowadays.

In terms of what I look for in a guy's profile (or what info. might come up in msgs.):
Don't care if he owns a home, so long as he lives someplace not so scuzzy/ramshackle that I can't bear to visit.
Don't care if it's a snazzy/new car, so long as it runs reliably (so he can come visit me), isn't filthy, and the muffler isn't deafeningly loud.
Don't care if his job is "impressive" or if he's got lotsa' assets-all that matters is that he's no poorer than I am (a pretty low bar to set), because at my level of poverty, I cannot be of financial assistance to anybody else.

Dunno' what % of women or single people are similar to me in my minimal requirements, though-I can't be the only one who's more humble/modest in our "list".

Heck, I don't even touch on any of that in the "message me if" section-all I wrote was "seeking liberal atheist with clean-shaven face".

I can't lie in general, so lying on a dating site would be next to impossible for me. For job, I just put "Private", I find it better than saying I can't work due to extreme anxiety and panic.

I agree. I don't think I've ever been rejected for my car/job/place because no girl has ever seen my car/job/place. I still want to have a nice car/job/place but for me, not someone else. I guess, it doesn't matter if you have those things or not, when you're undateable for a million other reasons.

You take them shopping in exchange for sex, it sounds like you've met some quality women there, pal...

I suppose all relationships tend to be financially costly to some degree but wouldn't you prefer a woman who wants more than money? Women I date tend to be managers who earn more than me oddly enough, I have no idea why I never meet these money hungry strippers..

If you are going around bragging about your finances, maybe you are showing that as your best asset and attracting that type of women because of it?

It's the never saw each other again part of your statement that is implausible, rather than the polygamy part.

you've never given them rides or taken them home?

job usually comes up in the first 4 messages if they didn't state that you have to have one in their profile. my problem is I am date able except for my face looks, job, car, home.

it'd be one thing If I just imagined this or made it up. but its something I've been told by women and see on a majority of profiles/ads.

"must have a decent job, car, own place. " or others say " life together, know where his life is going, or have ambition."

I wish I was imagining it, that would be far easier to surpass then outer demands placed on me by the dating women.

I have a lot to bring to a relationship. it just isn't $22 an hour and a bmw.

No, I never get this far. This may sound pathetic but there's only one woman who was ever in my car. It's my mother.


I've never really dated, I assume that's because I'm undateable. Why that is, I'm not sure. My job is fine, I get paid more than the average salary in my area. It could be home, because I'm still living with my parents to save up for a down payment. But I know a guy my age who's paid less, doesn't have a degree (college dropout), lives with his parents, has no driving license, but has a girlfriend. I guess it means that it's either my appearance or communication skills (or both) that make me undateable.


That's great. I'm sure you'll find someone.
I have no idea if I could sustain a relationship or not. It's quite likely that I'll die without knowing.

After hearing you (and others) say this so many times I was curious if many OKC profiles really say this, so I did a Google search for "decent job" car site:okcupid.com/profile and got 159 results. So yeah, I suppose there are some that say this in their profiles, though 159 out of all the public OKC profiles doesn't seem like that many.

It's worth noting that not all those results were female profiles (though the majority were). Some males ask for this, too, eg. this guy:





Do people making $22/hour have BMWs?

Well, E30 is a BMW.

True.

Just found this gem on a woman's OKC profile:



Speaking from bitter experience, I'm guessing. OK... maybe there is, after all, a good reason why many women insist that a guy is financially stable!

they don't all say decent. some will say just job, or make above min wage, etc. they use different words to mean the same thing. or wanting a guy who has a degree. have a job or be attending college. be working towards a degree. etc. theres many ways to list must be successful.

yeah I wouldn't deny that a lot of guys tend to liste the physical looks requirements. there are women that list it too. just about every cl ad list that the guy has to be attractive.

there's a lot of bmw for around 50k. I thought they were super expensive too til I looked at the site. so if you do payments over years then yeah. I also know poor people who have used older bmws.

plus if you buy a bmw you get maintenance for 4 years for free. If i could afford it i'd buy a bmw. they are a sweet deal. though after the 4 years you better be able to afford the parts lol.

its really two fold anyways. most the women that say those things on okc are gorgeous, thin, and under "replies very selectively."
all 100% signs they won't want anything to do with me besides having me help them at work. I really never expect to be good enough for a thin woman. I do find my self attracted to them slightly more then bigger women though. rather have average women though.

of course I find a mojorty of women to be thin in my eyes. also gorgeous. :'(