AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
19 Sep 2014, 12:14 pm
Ectryon wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
Well, like I said, in my case the first girl I dated post-high school was the same girl I'd been dating for some 4 years already. Our history went back so far our parents had to drop us off/pick us up for stuff or otherwise chaperone us. I'm not good at much in life, but I've ALMOST completely mastered the LTR!! ! Back in the day I thought hanging onto a gf for so long was really cool?nowadays, I look back on it as being totally pathetic. But that's another thread.
The other girl was someone I was well-acquainted with for some time prior to dating. It's not like I was going around different high schools looking for poor suckers to hook up with. I saw it as, "hey, I've known this girl for years, she seems interested in me, and she's a sweet kid. Why not?" I didn't look at it as any different than anyone college-aged.
"Legal" age varies by jurisdiction, btw. AOC in Mississippi is 16. I've never had sex with anyone under 18, anyway, and dating someone isn't the same thing as having sex with them. But I agree? What IS a 20+yo adult doing with a 15yo?
I'd be careful with that if someone INSISTS on doing it. I certainly wouldn't openly admit to "dating" if that were the case. Tutoring/mentoring, sure. Having a latte just before going to the HS football game, fine. You hang out because she grew up right next door and her parents used to hire you to babysit and you're still friends. GREAT. Once you call it "dating," it just gets creepy.
I briefly swapped spit with a girl I met doing community theater (and yes, it DID have to do with acting opposite each other in a production?I'm happily married). We first met when she was still in high school?come to think of it, she might have been 15 at the time. Doing the role was WEIRD because even though she was 20, all I saw was that teenager. I don't think I have it in me to deliberately pursue someone that age.
