manly men vs vulnerable effete men

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really cause al I get is telling a woman about your emotions and troubles means you're clingy and lack confidence. saying that I am afraid of losing her = no confidence. saying I feel unsure about finding work = no confidence. however the women i tell nothing say I am confident, but as soon as I express my concern or pain, bam they like where did your confidence go.

I am hopeful but I can't dis-knowledge reality either.

so confidence is never crying never showing fear or anxiety. whether you have it doesn't matter but don't show it. course they also complain you don't ever talk to them about stuff. but as soon as I do i'm told I have no confidence.

i don't consider that macho, macho would be doing tough stuff, lifting heavy things, getting cut and acting like its no big deal etc.

I prefer realism. Not all problems are fixable. Sometimes people hurt and just need to vent and be heard. Confidence is telling people who can't deal with that to go f**k themselves.

Last edited by marshall on 15 Sep 2014, 11:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

As for confidence, people tend to be confident when they're doing things they're good at. They tend to not be confident when they are forced to do things they suck at. I think this is a fairly universal trait. A fish will never be confident climbing trees and an elephant will never be confident swimming under the water. The only trick to confidence is to focus on the things you can do, not the things you can't.

Its' never been a realistic goal for me to be an idealized lover, and in my relationships lately, honesty has gotten the best of me, though what I am confident in is my indispensability among those I love as a free thinker and a student of the universe, people may not always want to see me, but I have little doubt they'll bring good questions my way. I love learning, and I'm sure enough that will distinguish me enough in time.

I understand confidence as marshall has said. confidence is built through success.
so I have more confidence in things i've been good at like, history, video games, firearms, money collecting, political knowledge. I follow those and learn and i've gotten decent at some.

I haven't had success in relationships, work or automotive. so I lack confidence in those. I also don't have much in social stuff given my failure to understand it. I am confident in my skills as a cashier and that I work hard at jobs.

women/people tend to concentrate solely on my relationship, work and automotive anxiety and say I have no confidence. except for women I dated in the past before I opened up to them about that stuff. in response I just prefer not to talk about automtovie, my degree or lack of being able to work in it. I would rather forget I have the degree cause to talk about it people say I lack confidence. I tried hard did my best and failed. don't see how that would build confidence.