Lets face it nobody wants to date an aspie

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AspieOtaku
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12 Sep 2014, 3:13 am

Lets face it nobody wants to date an aspie unless all the good men are taken were merely the leftovers. If they knew we had aspergers syndrome or some other form of autism they would avoid us like the plague and scramble to find an NT who is successful and stable who makes 6 figures a year and drives a nice car and doesnt annoy them with meaningless obsessions or topics like we do. Were too weird we are freaks i dont know why we exist but we do just to know well never be fully accepted into society without being ridiculed and hated. :(


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progaspie
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12 Sep 2014, 5:16 am

I wouldn't be so downcast. There's somebody out there for everyone.



Chimaira
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12 Sep 2014, 5:31 am

Society can indeed suck, but people often don't, it just often depends on the people. I don't know what it's like from the aspie POV as I'm neurotypical, but there are NT's who would see past the spectrum, which is kind of one of the reasons I'm here, I want to understand it better.

Love is out there and it's not easy even for those of us who are neurotypical, but I've lived with the argument that all good things in life are never easy. However, it seems like this place is a good place for support. I am by no means a paragon when it comes to all things love related, so whilst I'd like to be able to offer useful advice, I'd be bad at it.



Klowglas
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12 Sep 2014, 5:52 am

I share your pain, let us gloom and contemplate dark things.



Aspie1
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12 Sep 2014, 6:44 am

progaspie wrote:
I wouldn't be so downcast. There's somebody out there for everyone.

I wouldn't go that far. Top 20% of all men (the alpha males) have sex with 80% of all women. The second 20% of men get the remaining 20% of women. The bottom 60% are pretty much SOL. Since most aspie men have no hope or means to get into the top 20% (it's mostly genetic, based on looks and natural social skills), our best bet is to get into the second 20%, by brown-nosing at our jobs (to get promotions), exercising, eating healthy, and getting trendy hairstyles. Then your statement would hold true.



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12 Sep 2014, 7:05 am

Aspie1 wrote:
Since most aspie men have no hope or means to get into the top 20% (it's mostly genetic, based on looks and natural social skills),


I'm pretty sure being born with AS doesn't affect a person's physical-features by default unlike something else such as down-syndrome. Especially since a lot of guys in that top 20% are semi-ugly in my opinion.



cubedemon6073
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12 Sep 2014, 7:20 am

Chimaira wrote:
Society can indeed suck, but people often don't, it just often depends on the people. I don't know what it's like from the aspie POV as I'm neurotypical, but there are NT's who would see past the spectrum, which is kind of one of the reasons I'm here, I want to understand it better.

Love is out there and it's not easy even for those of us who are neurotypical, but I've lived with the argument that all good things in life are never easy. However, it seems like this place is a good place for support. I am by no means a paragon when it comes to all things love related, so whilst I'd like to be able to offer useful advice, I'd be bad at it.


I don't understand your first statement. If people make up society and you say people often don't, it just depends on the people then how does A not lead to B. If society sucks then by logic wouldn't a good chunk of the population in a given society suck then? This makes absolutely no sense to me and I do not grasp this at all.



b9
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12 Sep 2014, 7:22 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Lets face it nobody wants to date an aspie unless all the good men are taken were merely the leftovers. If they knew we had aspergers syndrome or some other form of autism they would avoid us like the plague and scramble to find an NT who is successful and stable who makes 6 figures a year and drives a nice car and doesnt annoy them with meaningless obsessions or topics like we do. Were too weird we are freaks i dont know why we exist but we do just to know well never be fully accepted into society without being ridiculed and hated. :(


it is not good to use the word "we" in place of the word "me".

you seem to me like a very dissatisfied person. i am not like you at all. i am just as far away from the surface of the social lagoon that everyone is condemned to swim in as you, but i do not care if i am "with" them or "against" them.

you seem to consider yourself to be incomplete on your own, and therefore you crave other people's attention in order to validate you as a "lovable" person.

i am not the same way. i do what i please how i please, and i always know what i want to do, and i do not consider other people when i am doing what i want to do.
what i want to do is in no way influenced by other people either.
i know that would feel lonely if everyone else on earth but me died, but until then, i am quite happy being on my own.

don't you feel like you have anything to give without being given it first?



dilanger
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12 Sep 2014, 8:30 am

One must educate themselves on AS to date a person with AS. In my case I needed to educate myself due to the fact I had no idea that I have aspie traits myself. How the heck can a person attempt to know some one else when they do not have complete understanding of themselves.



AlexanderDantes
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12 Sep 2014, 8:48 am

Wow that's a big stereotype towards women, claiming they only want millionaires and sports cars...

If that were true, there wouldn't be guys like me, Kurgan or bill is cool who are actively seeing attractive women but the partly because we got off our rears, believed in ourselves and worked towards improving ourselves as men.

Think of ways you can improve yourself.



Kurgan
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12 Sep 2014, 9:18 am

AlexanderDantes wrote:
Wow that's a big stereotype towards women, claiming they only want millionaires and sports cars...

If that were true, there wouldn't be guys like me, Kurgan or bill is cool who are actively seeing attractive women but the partly because we got off our rears, believed in ourselves and worked towards improving ourselves as men.

Think of ways you can improve yourself.


I'm not actively seeing women now that I'm working on my master's degree. :P You're right about bettering yourself, though. Focus on working around drawbacks (lack of social skills being the big elephant in the room), rather than blaming others.

Anyone can buy a sports car if they make sacrifices. Women with "drawbacks" such as ADHD, AS, TS, etc. are more likely to date a man with AS.


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Kurgan
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12 Sep 2014, 9:26 am

Aspie1 wrote:
progaspie wrote:
I wouldn't be so downcast. There's somebody out there for everyone.

I wouldn't go that far. Top 20% of all men (the alpha males) have sex with 80% of all women. The second 20% of men get the remaining 20% of women. The bottom 60% are pretty much SOL. Since most aspie men have no hope or means to get into the top 20% (it's mostly genetic, based on looks and natural social skills), our best bet is to get into the second 20%, by brown-nosing at our jobs (to get promotions), exercising, eating healthy, and getting trendy hairstyles. Then your statement would hold true.


People need to realize what an alpha male really is. In the "cool" clique in high school, there's one alpha man surrounded by his beta and omega men, who still get laid.

Getting laid is no big deal; getting a relationship is a big deal. Some girls even sleep with shy guys because they're less likely to kiss and tell.


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Alyosha
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12 Sep 2014, 9:53 am

i was dxed with classic autism and ive had multiple romantic partners (two girls one guy). it is possible certainly possible. although to be aware that they may take advantage of your social naivety is definitely something. i agree with what the other people say about bettering yourself. as ive worked on displaying my empathy better people want to be around me more. im not at the point where i have enough people who want to be my friend that i have to pick people to be my friend team and leave the rest on the bench of not friend team. but im not sure if i want to be there.

mainly it is about putting yourself around where peopel are. i dont just mean go out. my first girlfriend i met online lasted i think 4 months (bad bad bad girlfriend and i would have been much better off not having one) my second one i met through friends lasted i think 3 months and boyfriend i also met through friends and is on going and we have been together for four years i think. it can happen.



AspE
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12 Sep 2014, 9:56 am

Not true. 3 women want to date me right now.



Mike_the_EE
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12 Sep 2014, 11:00 am

Well, I have no idea what women think about Aspie guys (or anything else for that matter), but as an Aspie guy, I would LOVE to date an Aspie woman!


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AspieOtaku
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12 Sep 2014, 2:12 pm

AlexanderDantes wrote:
Wow that's a big stereotype towards women, claiming they only want millionaires and sports cars...

If that were true, there wouldn't be guys like me, Kurgan or bill is cool who are actively seeing attractive women but the partly because we got off our rears, believed in ourselves and worked towards improving ourselves as men.

Think of ways you can improve yourself.
Well to be frank it also goes the otherway as well tons of aspie women are expected to be feminine and super models and such by NT men or reject them after finding out they are too odd for them.


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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList