seeking vs waiting

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If you want to play the "waiting game", you have to surround yourself with new people, otherwise nothing is going to happen. So no I'm not a big fan of waiting.

I believe a balance of both is more important, but this wasn't part of the answer so I just chose 'seeking'.

The way I see it, for any/most relationships to really begin and work well, things need to gradually happen naturally.

I've gone through stages of endless seeking, it doesn't work out.

But completely remaining inactive in your friendship/love life doesn't work either.

Both are the two extremes.

Just try and form friendships, meet people, hang out with people, etc. and if chemistry is there, then maybe it's meant to be.

Unfortunately society doesn't work this way and it's rare for it to work out.

I will give an example of what I am saying:

You meet a small group of people who are all friends and are similar to you. They like/accept you for who you are but barely know you, but want to hang out and meet up more.

You are friendly to all members and they are the same to you.

Now, imagine there's ONE particular member of the group that you get along with a little better than the others. Perhaps ask to hang out with them PERSONALLY, one to one.

Close friendships/best friends can form out of this, or even a relationship sometimes.

If you hang out with this one individual more and find out things work between you guys, then by god, test the waters with them. See how far they let you go.

All you need to do is expand your circle of friends. Im not even sure that deliberately looking for a relationship is necessarily the best heading to take. Just seek out new acquaintances and connections with people. Probably the best advice ive ever been given by an NT was to treat every girl like a friend at first. I think the guy who gave the advice was trying to get me to be more relaxed and less awkward around girls. He was right. Only online do you progress from anonymity to dating in one step. In the real world there is always a measure of familiarity. This can only be cultivated by getting to know peoplefirst.

People who say they are waiting are ommitting this crucial fact. I seriously seriously doubt that they sat at home waiting for invitations to dates. They may not have been consciously and actively seeking a relationship but they were probably doing the right things which amounts to the same thing to all intents and purposes

'expanding your circle of friends' is a lot easier said than done by most with AS. It's kind of hard to get people to care about you if you are invisible or alien to them.

It's not that I do not want it or do not want to work at it, I simply can't build a proper social network. I have met plenty of people through mutual interests and they act friendly, but I fail to maintain any sort of friendship. At first I think I am their friend, but then I see that they go out with each other and maintain contact and I notice I am simply on a different level. When I try to get involved with that I am constantly a third wheel, it just doesn´t feel right. I am not the kind of person they would seek out and want to get involved with because I am just too different for them.

I've been with a moderate sized group of other autistic people a few years back and made and maintained friendship with them very easily. It was a world of difference from trying to communicate and become friends with NTs. I've only had a similar bond of friendship with two NT people in my life, and that was only because they were extremely friendly and empathic people. It feels like I am powerless and just have to rely on the pity and empathy of others to get genuine friends.

if your a guy you can't be passive

I can't wait for the day that people stop their stalking BS, so I can actually approach women freely without having to pay attention to body language.

Everyone, you'll make the same mistake I made. I was seeking for a girl like you guys but every time they break our hearts.

A girl usually wants to hang with friends, they just don't know us and we are forcing a relationship to a friend just to lose a friend.

Just like me and Kayo. What happened was that I was being romantic to her by giving her a peach, an apple, a rose, and a picture I drew.
The last gift I wanted to tell her if we can just be friends and she said no. it's not a surprised I completely annoyed her and crossed the line to ruin a friendship all for listening to a love calculation app.

The point is They just want to be friends and have their space.

So don't cross the line.