Do you feel unattractive or asexual to the opposite sex?

Post Reply New Topic

I usually feel very unattractive since I was told daily in school how unattractive and ugly I was and it's hard to undo that conditioning but I have to admit as much as I hate dressing up whenever I wear a suit and tie out and about women blatantly stare and hit on me. In fact, the last time I wore my suit on a date (I did tell her I was coming from a formal event in case you are wondering) the girl was in my bed a few hours later! I counted 20 women who checked me out (they are quick at it ) and that's just the ones I noticed.

The last girl I dated even commented on how I looked completely different in every photo I posted in my dating profile and I didn't look like any of them. I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult. Apparently I should dress up every time I go out. My brother told me I could have a girl who is wife material in a week if I just dressed up all the time. Maybe I should test that theory

^^ Seems like you got hotter with age then?

I doubt the suit thing would work with every male.

I wish guys treated me this way.
I often get told I'm attractive, sometimes in over the top terms. And I don't know if I really believe them.
I think I'm very cute, but its personal and I don't expect others to see me the same way as I have a strange perception on what is attractive anyway.

I wish when I was friends with guys they'd see me as friends and not a potential sexual partner.

I was a bit confused by your title as I am actually an asexual... I wish the sexual interest wasn't as prominent, or that once it's obvious there will be no sexual relationship, my 'friendships' end... It hurts.

I get a bunch of strangers telling me I'm attractive, but I assume it's often said to people they even don't find terribly attractive because they're desperate for sex. I'm told I'm too easy to approach which makes people think they have a chance at having sex with me thus the attention.
I often suspect the people approached less are more attractive; people get intimidated by attractiveness and often won't say anything because they're sure they'll be rejected if they do...

I know how to look decent or even attractive physically. It's relatively easy to improve your looks.
But personality-wise I feel very unattractive. I lack the feminine softness. I'm too blunt, practical, and introverted. I don't know how to fix that.

Seeing as I'm 33 and haven't had my first date yet...yeah, I do feel that way sometimes. The worst part is having my best friend telling me I'm handsome and telling me what a great guy I am and how I have a a lot to offer when she knows I'm in love with her and there's obviously no chance she'll ever have feelings for me....I'm seriously *this* close to giving up completely and just accepting my fate, dying alone pining for my best friend.

I'm completely off putting to anyone I have the slightest interest in.

I feel like I'm the gay best friend of all my female friends. I mean I'm not gay, I'm just friends with a lot of girls and we talk about girl stuff and they don't see me as anything more than a friend so I might as well be a gay guy, because gay guys don't go out with women either.

All the time.

No, I don't feel physically unattractive. I know I'm physically unattractive. Nobody even bothers to lie to me about it.

I wonder if it's really worse opposed to getting false compliments all the time?

I would say false compliments are better, because one day somebody is bound to actually find your looks to be charming in some way. Will you believe them when they come?

No, it would be very difficult to believe a genuine compliment that sounds much like all the false ones - and that right there is a great reason why false compliments are not better.

I think it was more the case that since I was the bullying target, I could have been Brad Pitt and every girl in school would have still found me unattractive. I know it's irrational but it's hard to undo the damage it cause my self-image. For many years when women flirted with me my defenses went up looking for what they wanted out of me (as in money, to humiliate me, etc). With the suit I stand more upright and women just can't resist a sharp dressed super tall, fit guy


I always worry about that too. Like many Aspies I tend to get along better with the opposite gender. I was at a gathering of my then dates girl friends and made sure to make it clear even though I enjoy and prefer the company of women and view them as friends I am also VERY straight, I find female parts sexually attractive and cannot fathom how a woman can see a man being attractive. It might have worked as one of them is trying to get me to meet another available, single woman. Hopefully it will work out!

Agreed. If you're used to false compliments you'll not trust people. If they say bad things you'll believe it and if they say good things you'll assume it's a lie.
I think a lot of people have this already without having the issue of a bunch of people lying to them to 'be nice'.
If I want to let someone know they have positive points I'll make sure I can find them then point them out, but won't give out an empty compliment like they're an easily pleased child. It's insulting. Especially as everyone has something good about them so you needn't lie.