dating sites are fraud period

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in my internet experience of dating, the sites that provide meeting people on them are basically a living joke on a pedestal. your only making a profile that shows you wanna get hired, when dating is basically simple going out and meeting people. dating is not a job, its a experience of having fun, the internet looks at it as a job. that's not really good. but like they say, you quit the online realm for a while and meet others outside cyberspace. i just need a better social life and not this boredom s**t on the web talking to a bunch of robotic messages. and others on the other side of world on dating sites, are not really what brings up for real life dating, it's just fraud period. the way that dating works is really going to places where people are friendly and fun. not dumb and idiotic on sites. but still everyone still uses the internet as a free realm zone, when it's nothing but danger at the firewall gate to let out what the real people are online. any one wanna argue my point, go ahead and shoot the gun.

They are not a fraud. For example, dating sites are a good mechanism for meeting people who you would not otherwise meet if your social circle is very small.

I'm not sure what you mean by "the way dating works;" maybe that's the way you want dating to operate, but that isn't so for everyone. Maybe that's the way that leads to the most relationships, I don't know, but I'd much rather my dating life be like a job interview. Random socializing is tiring, time-consuming and inefficient (except for those who have few or very common partner requirements).

Going out where people are "friendly and fun" doesn't work for everyone, not everyone likes "friendly and fun" people (depending on what you mean by those terms), not everyone likes going out, and doing something with which they are uncomfortable may put them in a mood or physical state that lowers their attractiveness, thus their efforts can compromise their ability to reach the very goal for which they are are striving.

Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.

Hmm, I must have hallucinated the dozens of women I've met on dating sites then...

Dating sites do exactly what they say they do: give people another avenue to meet single people who are looking to date. I've met quite a few people from them, and thus far they've all been perfectly normal and respectable people.

It seems I've been frauding myself and never noticed

My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.

+1

I know perfectly sane women who've used and met dates online. Some people are very prone to projection, is all.

Not that the environment is very healthy for people. It's just an extension of the already questionable Internet.

There are certainly plenty of downsides to online dating but I cannot be too critical, especially of eHarmony. I dated numerous decent, quality women (and one ended up in my bed only 4 hours after meeting her!) and while my latest relationship from there didn't pan out, she has a huge circle of friends that adopted me as a friend. In fact, I am meeting up with one of her friends tonight and another on Monday. Turns out this friend WAS on eHarmony (she is drop dead gorgeous) but only logged in once a month or so and I skipped over her.

As for "women are social so she must suck", my last date had a HUGE social circle but it was of women, not men. I am lucky in that I prefer the company of women and didn't mind tagging along with her friends.

well then she is right, that's my whole point of what my argument is, confusion with other members.

that is basically this girl i am talking to has problems. they all do.

you sound like this girl i talk to that was basically born in south africa unaccidently. she is polish, if that will help you out.

the word unaccidentally in this context confuses me. This sentence feels cryptic

Dating sites are like beauty pageants. I havent used one in ages but I may consider using eharmony or something like it in future under the following conditions:

1) I can immediately wade out into the deep waters bypassing the mass of shallow humanity, that is, I can set search criteria that eliminate certain types of undesirables from my search
2) I can search the database with extremely specific search criteria which would require a checklist approach whereby a profile is actually a set of items you can check off. Im not searching through thousands of profiles which all say "Im cheeky fun loving up for a good time and ready to rumble". I want to be able to search for people who are primarily intellectual and open minded (which doesnt mean that you like dogs AND cats it means that you have an open inquiring mind).
3) I dont want to search for profiles that SAY "im incredibly smart and open minded". I want profiles which demonstrate this through a variety of means. A long 100 item checklist ought to do. I could search for people via discipline (philosophers musicians and the like) and via personality.

Of course this probably doesnt exist so i'll just keep to my usual half a**ed routine which has thus far served me fairly well

Sounds like you want OKcupid, it's possible to configure it to look for some pretty specific things, or you could go completely all out like this guy:

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/ ... k-okcupid/

I've never used it quite that deliberately, but I've found it pretty simple to compare what I value with what other people value using the 'sort by' feature and come up with good prospects, though it does take a little time and practice.

Hmm i'll give that a shot. I did think of all those questionnaires that appear on OKCupid but I thought that most people wouldnt bother with most of that stuff given how time consuming it probably is.



EDIT: The questions are just inane! How happy are you with your life, When would you sleep with somebody? I had to give explanations for most of them and after 30 mins of questions I ended up marking them all irrelevant. Basically I wasted 30mins of my life and ended up eliminating a tiny percentage of the population.

Last edited by Ectryon on 26 Sep 2014, 4:18 am, edited 1 time in total.