Why do Women do this on Dating Sites?

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So now Giant is a potential mass murderer just for having an arrogant moment.

Jeeez what a hyperbole, you know what, staying off WP isn't too bad for you.

if a guy does what this woman did we are told it's off putting, offensive and too negative. we are told to change/ remove the rant type things. yet a woman does it and its defended and if a guy finds it off putting we are told we lack respect for women o.O

I find it off putting. guarantee most women on dating sites get the same stuff she did, the difference they don't turn their profile into a rant, they block the messages and continue on. do most list they aren't looking for one night stands yeah, but that's more of what relationship they are wanting. if you don't think it should work both for men and women then you are basically saying women can afford to do it and guys can't.

also yeah hockey I don't get it either but i predicted it. if you show confidence you are an as*hole if you don't then you are a unattractive. seems there's no winning.
also i take your post to mean that I am a loser?

Nor do I.

- Don't send dick pics or "Hey bby yoo want sum f*k?"

- Don't cheat.

Simple.

Also, I thought people with AS would be happy to be actually told what they did wrong instead of having to play guessing games.

I have a likewise text in my tinder profile and it works VERY well. I totally get where she is coming from.

Have read through this website; The ladies of OkCupid and you'll get a little idea of what most women have to endure. And I do mean endure. Every day getting something like 8 of these, and if you log on at night-time... oh dear, it'll be something like 30 until you log off...
I don't see anything wrong with what she wrote and I can bet you it didn't even put off most those guys who will not even read your profile but tell you all these horrible things they want to do to you. Then get more violent if you say no or ignore them!!

Don't think women just read these things and turn up their nose, some posts make people feel really objectified, worthless and unsafe!

It's when either gender whines that it's off-putting. I don't see her message as a whinge, it's more that she's getting cross and telling people to f*** off, rather than going, "Oh woe is me".

As I said, this applies to both genders, and there is a big difference between whining and getting cross, agree? And getting cross can be a turn-on for some people. I know I like it when I see a guy who is "real" and honest (though constant grumpiness and whining is another matter).

As for the "high quality male" comment, it struck a nerve in me. I do like GHF because he's very open to criticism and is willing to see where he goes wrong. That is an excellent quality that lots of people don't have. I snapped at him though because like some have said, it appears really arrogant, like he is above other males...which is another way of putting them down. I'm sorry I snapped at you, GHF, but I think you need to realise that adopting that attitude won't help you.

Yeah GHF I don't get it either. As FMX said, the people who are going to send crappy messages/pics are not going to take notice of what she is saying anyway*.

I leave that kind of stuff out of my profile completely. It would make me sound bitter/negative/grouchy/etc and therefore would probably stop some decent people from contacting me.

It's really not very hard to click Delete on a crappy message, that's how I handle it. Filter later, don't whinge upfront.

*Well actually, if it DID cause a dickhead to reword his message so as to get a reply from me, that's basically just him manipulating me and I would rather see his crappy message so I can delete that, than get fooled by a reworded nicer message that he wrote "because he was told to".

Don't forget the threats, manipulation, etc. One guy I got bad vibes from kept messaging me until I eventually told him I wasn't interested and requested that he stop contacting me, in the hopes that an actual rejection would spoil his enthusiasm for it.

I came back to messages from him demanding to know why, how I could not be interested without even knowing him, and informing me that he was persistent and wasn't going to stop until he got the answers he wanted (yikes). There's worse out there, too, like insults, threats of violence or rape, etc.



I would recommend that both take it down to avoid accidentally intimidating people, especially if the content is a generalization (why are all x so y, etc). That's neither here nor there, though.

That's a great idea!

I don't get what is wrong with how they wrote the profile, sounds like they are getting messeges they don't care much for and so trying to put a stop to it by being clear they are not looking for that sort of stuff. I'd be bitter if I had a bunch of guys sending me dick pictures or asking for sex/insinuating that is all they are looking for right off the bat. Why should she be respectful towards the sort of people she is directing the bitterness in her profile at? Seems like you are taking it as an insult towards you when sounds like she is talking about specific sorts of guys shes sick of getting messeges from....if you're not someone who just wants to get in someones pants and are serious about a relationship I do not think she is referring to you or people like you.

My profile mostly says some stuff about me and a bit of how I feel about life and some intrests, then I say i desire actually meeting people not just a bunch of online messeging or text talk...also not into guys who clearly are just looking to get laid, just not into that I need a bit more substance than that in a potential relationship.

You should put what you 'dont' want on your profile to help weed out women you wouldn't click with. Also for a woman looking for a guy who doesn't smoke/drink/do drugs, with a stable job in a well respected organization with no legal trouble who would adore having children some day.......yeah you'd be a superior 'catch' than a lot of people on that site. But then there are woman such as myself who don't want children, do smoke/drink/do drugs and maybe don't put so much stock in a stable career...and then me personally for me if the crimminal record has to do with like rape, child molestation, murder or assaulting someone just to hurt someone then that would be a problem, if its they got ticketed/arrested for smoking a joint in public or got caught with drugs I really wouldn't care.

As for why this other female did not word things that way, well perhaps a different sort of personality....if you find that wording more appealing then obviously maybe message her rather than the other one whos style you don't like.

Some points:
-The lady is just writing what she doesn't want, not having a rant about what she doesn't like. If you don't like that, you two aren't going to get along anyway. This is before taking into account she might never like you to begin with. Why cry over spilt milk?

-The_Face_Of_Boo - Thank you for your comment abotu hypberbole. It is the over-sensitivity from both genders in this subforum as well as a lack of understanding of norms and that nothing can truly be 100% equal by logical definition that creates the hyperbole you speak of, and further explains why everyone here who seems to think they know everything about dating and relationships are yet to form a healthy relationship of their own, and reside permanently in this subforum as a hypocritical monument to their failings. Hopefully, if the people of both genders with more "extreme" views could take into account the situation of everyone here, we could all work together to help one another instead of perpetuating a lack of understanding and an eternity of L&D misery. My view is brutal and unkind and applies to myself as well. Deal with it.

Of course we would not get along. If I would message her I would tell her how ridiculous her profile is and that there are many men who don't want casual sex under any circumstances. My point is why not rephrase this and say "I like to take things slow and see where they lead." It's just frustrating how few profiles actually point out what THEY have to offer and what kind of man they are looking to attract. eHarmony seemed far better in this department. One girl even flat out said she was saving herself for marriage (on eHarmony) and you know what, I contacted her. What's wrong with highlighting the positive and ignoring the negatives? There is being honest, but I'm not going to mention that I love BDSM activities on my profile if I want to attract decent, quality women and not crazies.


I understand where you are coming from my you are again missing my point. Is that going to motivate a decent guy in general to contact her? She literally took out the parts about what she has to offer and replaced it with this rant. My first thought is "geez, if I am not perfect she is going to find an excuse to break up with me. F-that." Again I am sick of getting messages and dating emotionally unavailable women who are too attached to their girl friends but if I spent my profile ranting about this, my response rate would probably drop to almost zero and people would get the wrong impression that I wanted a girl to give up her life when that could not be further from the truth.

So..this raises some questions on my part:
*You find these profiles frustrating, so why bother with them at all? Why not skip them?
*Why would you want to tell this person ANYTHING? What would it even achieve?
*You seem to have found your niche which is eHarmony. Should you maybe focus your efforts there?

Beyond those questions, all I can say is good luck and use your time wisely.

Liiike...you? As for hyperbole...there isn't really a lot to learn from your message, is there?

I think you forgot to read the part at the bottom which clearly says my views are unkind and apply to me as well.
But I applaud your efforts for trying to make fun of me. That post was directed at everyone as a whole but I guess guilt works incredibly well in evoking a response!

Hopefully, if we all step back for a bit we would realise the reason we're here is because we have Asperger's and we don't always get it right, and maybe we could help each other with the bits we do/don't get right instead of arguing or trying to find yet more labels for each other. A lot of people here might only hold misogynistic and sexist views towards women because they haven't had guidance. They might not hold them at all but be very bad at conveying their thoughts (something we can all surely relate to).

I edited this post to tidy up 2 words.