Fear I will never get girlfriend

Page 1 of 3 [ 39 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Einschmidt
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 142

17 Oct 2014, 10:26 pm

The reason I put the eye picture is someone said my eyes are my best part, tho I guess it is kind of weird


_________________
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable -John F Kennedy


Einschmidt
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 142

18 Oct 2014, 12:04 am

Also been a few times where someone did reply and we talked a bit but then they suddenly wont respond why?


_________________
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable -John F Kennedy


Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

18 Oct 2014, 5:44 pm

Einschmidt wrote:
Also been a few times where someone did reply and we talked a bit but then they suddenly wont respond why?


Various reasons, it happens to everyone. A few possible reasons:

-She was just replying to be polite
-Her life started getting busy and she no longer has time to reply
-She met someone else from the site that she was more interested in
-Your conversation was drying up



Einschmidt
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 142

18 Oct 2014, 8:10 pm

For some reason I am afraid my lack of success in OkCupid means I am too messed up to ever get a girlfriend


_________________
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable -John F Kennedy


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

19 Oct 2014, 11:48 am

I hate it when some guys say like over 80 percent of guys with Asperger's never get a girlfriend in their life, sounds like pessimistic thinking to me



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

19 Oct 2014, 2:42 pm

Here,s another angle, and please no criticism, I only state this in order to maybe make the OP feel better about his current situation until he does meet the right person.

Last girlfriend I had was 1992 and so I too was in the "I.m never going to get a girlfriend" school of misery.

So I tried OK Cupid, the way I did it was to be truthful about myself, whilst I didn't say I was Aspie I definitely didn't come across as NT.
As a result I got quite a lot of messages, half of which where with Women initiating the conversation. They all said what an interesting profile I had.

Now here's my point.
Only yesterday I was only too pleased to extract myself from the relationship I had formed with a very attractive Woman, first of all sex is nicer in your imagination, like hunger, once you have eaten its not such a big deal.
But the main thing is my life is much better on my own, I thought relationships with the opposite sex where supposed to put a smile on your face, make you feel happy.
What is it with modern Women where they are so selfish and controlling, whingeing and complaining because you dare do some essential work to your home instead of putting every aspect of your life aside so that you can be what they want you to be, to be only available for what they want to do.

Which by the way mainly involves walking around endless shops looking at dresses.
No wonder all the married men at work who found out I joined a dating site told me I was mad, that they envy my singleness and think its what makes me cool, I can see why they say this now.

Why do they think you want to be in the battle of the sexes so that you have to be careful about anything you say because they will consider you are trying to insult them, I should have realised the way things were going to be when I offered an interesting fact about an old buildings structure and was immediately accused of trying to make myself look better than her because I knew something she didnt!

I hate being lonely but I would rather be on my own than stuck with somebody who makes me feel bad.

And yes I know not all Women are like this, the good ones tend to be found and kept however.



Last edited by Nambo on 19 Oct 2014, 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

19 Oct 2014, 2:47 pm

^^ see that's the sort of thing that makes me wonder why I'm single. I'd much rather do essential work on the house than go shopping. I would love a guy that would help me paint the house and sand down and re-coat my furniture. I usuallly just get clothes from ebay. I hate shopping.



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

19 Oct 2014, 2:53 pm

hurtloam wrote:
^^ see that's the sort of thing that makes me wonder why I'm single. I'd much rather do essential work on the house than go shopping. I would love a guy that would help me paint the house and sand down and re-coat my furniture. I usuallly just get clothes from ebay. I hate shopping.


Where do you live?

What a relief to hear such a thing.
I was under the opinion that men who could rebuild car engines, fit bathrooms, plaster walls, all round handymen were more desirable to Women than men who can only watch and talk about football whilst they drink lager.
Seems I was wrong as I was given exasperated expressions of disdain because I didn't get some cowboy builder to do what I can do better.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

19 Oct 2014, 3:21 pm

Britain. Most of my female friends are married to men who enjoy making things or learning music, play guitar, drums etc. I've got one friend who is refurbishing a guitar. My brother in law is always making something. Another likes to fix up cars. Some of us are into sewing. But maybe that's just my social circle. We're in our late 20s/early 30s.

It's a circle of married friends with a few other single women. Our conversations revolve around cooking, reading, music and stuff we find interesting, oh and pets. We just sort of met each other over the years introduced new people into the group and we all live in different towns, it's not like I live in a specific area where we all met.

I sympathise with getting the "exasperated expressions of disdain", I was horrified when my old roommate asked if we should get a painter in to decorate. I was like, no lets go to B&Q or Homebase, get some paint, save a bomb and do it ourselves. She was bemused that I would actually be willing to paint a wall. She seemed quiet bemused that I would actually do housework, cook meals from scratch and gardening as well. Some people seem to think manual labour is beneath them.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

19 Oct 2014, 3:23 pm

must keep thinking positive



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

19 Oct 2014, 3:50 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Britain. Most of my female friends are married to men who enjoy making things or learning music, play guitar, drums etc. I've got one friend who is refurbishing a guitar. My brother in law is always making something. Another likes to fix up cars. Some of us are into sewing. But maybe that's just my social circle. We're in our late 20s/early 30s.

It's a circle of married friends with a few other single women. Our conversations revolve around cooking, reading, music and stuff we find interesting, oh and pets. We just sort of met each other over the years introduced new people into the group and we all live in different towns, it's not like I live in a specific area where we all met.

I sympathise with getting the "exasperated expressions of disdain", I was horrified when my old roommate asked if we should get a painter in to decorate. I was like, no lets go to B&Q or Homebase, get some paint, save a bomb and do it ourselves. She was bemused that I would actually be willing to paint a wall. She seemed quiet bemused that I would actually do housework, cook meals from scratch and gardening as well. Some people seem to think manual labour is beneath them.


Sounds like a bunch of Aspies, and maybe that's where the problem lies, Aspies are different from NT's we are deep, independent and have interesting things to do, its not just that NT's find certain Aspie traits difficult to fathom or get along with, its just as much that Aspies would find it hard to have an NT stifling their lives.
If only there was an Aspie sort of dating site, I tried to attract such with my profile but didn't have much joy.

I just painted my kitchen today, before for my new units arrive.
Looks great and I did it all myself :-)



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

19 Oct 2014, 5:44 pm

the natural order of things often sucks



Jjancee
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 107

23 Oct 2014, 9:29 pm

Einschmidt wrote:
For some reason I am afraid my lack of success in OkCupid means I am too messed up to ever get a girlfriend


Your profile is okay -- not stellar, not awful.

What sort of girls are you messaging? Are they more or less your age, living in your area and about as "attractive" as you?

If you're messaging, say, only drop-dead gorgeous 18 yos who live 5000 miles away, that'd explain your (lack of) success.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

24 Oct 2014, 7:58 pm

sadly even hobbies are not enough to get women off a lot of us guys minds



Einschmidt
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 142

24 Oct 2014, 9:42 pm

Jjancee wrote:
Einschmidt wrote:
For some reason I am afraid my lack of success in OkCupid means I am too messed up to ever get a girlfriend


Your profile is okay -- not stellar, not awful.

What sort of girls are you messaging? Are they more or less your age, living in your area and about as "attractive" as you?

If you're messaging, say, only drop-dead gorgeous 18 yos who live 5000 miles away, that'd explain your (lack of) success.


I am mostly asking within 50 miles. Most people say I look good but I'm not sure


_________________
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable -John F Kennedy


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

27 Oct 2014, 9:23 pm

From seeing many posts from aspies, a lot who have relationships or had, that sounds reassuring to know it is possible