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Fear I will never get girlfriend

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WantToHaveALife
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27 Oct 2014, 9:23 pm

From seeing many posts from aspies, a lot who have relationships or had, that sounds reassuring to know it is possible



Andreger
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28 Oct 2014, 2:44 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
From seeing many posts from aspies, a lot who have relationships or had, that sounds reassuring to know it is possible


Jump from stratosphere is also possible but it doesn't mean we'll do it. The fact is it's really much harder for AS then for NT to get girlfriend or even have long relations with wedding or something like that.

I'm writing lots of messages on dating sites to girls that seems to be more or less common to me. Each message is unique, it's not just copy and paste of same cliche. No result at all. Offilne dating attempts (like in the office) also failed. It was okay in 18 or in 20 but not in 27.



WantToHaveALife
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29 Oct 2014, 11:48 am

Andreger wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
From seeing many posts from aspies, a lot who have relationships or had, that sounds reassuring to know it is possible


Jump from stratosphere is also possible but it doesn't mean we'll do it. The fact is it's really much harder for AS then for NT to get girlfriend or even have long relations with wedding or something like that.

I'm writing lots of messages on dating sites to girls that seems to be more or less common to me. Each message is unique, it's not just copy and paste of same cliche. No result at all. Offilne dating attempts (like in the office) also failed. It was okay in 18 or in 20 but not in 27.
well I don't want to give up, I refuse to give up on my search for my first girlfriend, I'm a member of a lot of Aspies groups on Facebook and a lot of the users on there have experienced being in a relationship before, have had a boyfriend/girlfriend, so it inspires me saying g if they can do it then I can do it as well



Andreger
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29 Oct 2014, 1:01 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
well I don't want to give up, I refuse to give up on my search for my first girlfriend, I'm a member of a lot of Aspies groups on Facebook and a lot of the users on there have experienced being in a relationship before, have had a boyfriend/girlfriend, so it inspires me saying g if they can do it then I can do it as well


Good for you. I had last relations 6 years ago. After that nothing - hundreds of attempts failed.



WantToHaveALife
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29 Oct 2014, 6:55 pm

ya now I just need to know what is the best action plan so I can practice and improve my ability to approach women, start conversations with them, flirt with them, be confident with them, overall getting a girlfriend, etc.



Jjancee
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02 Nov 2014, 5:18 pm

Andreger wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
well I don't want to give up, I refuse to give up on my search for my first girlfriend, I'm a member of a lot of Aspies groups on Facebook and a lot of the users on there have experienced being in a relationship before, have had a boyfriend/girlfriend, so it inspires me saying g if they can do it then I can do it as well


Good for you. I had last relations 6 years ago. After that nothing - hundreds of attempts failed.


There are no guarantees in life. It's entirely possible you might be single FOREVER.



WantToHaveALife
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02 Nov 2014, 5:34 pm

Being pessimistic never helps



Vatnos
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04 Nov 2014, 1:31 pm

I have always had tremendous social anxiety issues, and I had a very pessimistic view about my future as well. It took me until the age of 24 to lose my virginity. And if we're being totally honest here... if I weren't bisexual, but totally straight, it would've taken even longer. Didn't get a girlfriend till 25.

The good news is the last few years have been great and my social life really turned around. Now that I've had a few relationships I feel far more confident asking people out.

Basically, things can pick up any moment. They will if you try, and you face your fears. There is hope for everyone.



WantToHaveALife
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04 Nov 2014, 3:01 pm

Vatnos wrote:
I have always had tremendous social anxiety issues, and I had a very pessimistic view about my future as well. It took me until the age of 24 to lose my virginity. And if we're being totally honest here... if I weren't bisexual, but totally straight, it would've taken even longer. Didn't get a girlfriend till 25.

The good news is the last few years have been great and my social life really turned around. Now that I've had a few relationships I feel far more confident asking people out.

Basically, things can pick up any moment. They will if you try, and you face your fears. There is hope for everyone.


Vantos, what did you do to specifically practice and improve your approaches, social-skills and conversation-skills with women?