Did anyone ever recover?

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I wonder, for all pining dateless duds here, did any of them ever manage to lift themselves out of that state?

Is there anyone here who got well into adulthood without a partner then later managed to fine one?

Or is inexperience a death sentence? A catch-22 of, you can't win unless you've already won.

Is there a certain cut-off age, if you didn't get into a relationship by the time you're XX years old you never will?

Or is this wrong? Someone tell me it's wrong.

before 2013, I believed that I would die alone and terminally INCEL. but life has a way of throwing one a curve. granted I am in the September of my years which makes this particular curve all the more unlikely, but it did happen. IOW it ain't over 'til it's over.

Woah! If there was hope for you there's hope for anyone... I mean, you're what, 50 or 60 or something?

my dad didn't get far with women until he met my mom at age 27.

honestly, until you're in your late 20s, relationships are all just a big game about social status, self esteem and sexuality anyway. most people don't get real serious about it, either because they don't want to or don't know how, until they're like 28 or so.

True 886 but I think a lot of people start their serious relationships when they're older using experienced they gained with non-serious relationships they had when they were younger.

Sometimes I just wonder if it's a catch-22. Like maybe it's past a certain age you can't start a relationship unless you have experience in them, even if it's from non-serious ones.

There is some truth to that. The dating scene doesn't take kindly to the inexperienced folk, especially if you approach it with little confidence. But by no means is it impossible, you can always find someone who suits your personality, it just isn't always easy.

Yeah, it's hard to feel confident when you don't know what you're doing. I can feign confidence but that can only take me so far. It doesn't make up for unknown knowledge.

Unfortunately I've found the only way is trial and error.. it's a pain in the ass and let to more heartache than I care to admit. It's the only way to get better at it.

I think that your options do narrow a bit as you get older, but there's never 'zero' chance of finding love.

Think of it this way... I've never had a 'serious' relationship... I recently met a girl who also hasn't. The potential is there.

Now in reality, I think I've gone and ruined not only the chance of a relationship but our friendship as a whole (which I am having a hard time dealing with ) but for what it's worth... For a while there it was going really damn well. I wish I knew what I did wrong. Yeah, I'm getting started on that again.

I don't think there's zero chance. If you've had this life experience, there IS someone else out there who has had the same experience AND SHARES YOUR FEARS. Only problem is, those fears tend to distort ones' self esteem. That and the whole thing about if we're on the wrong planet, we also exist in a parallel universe to the female of the species. Just to make things interesting.

P.S. 886- DECONSTRUCTION IS A RAD ALBUM
See, if we were like in the same country and compatible in a gendery kinda way, it'd totally be on right now

EDIT EDIT: There is also the chance that I am deluding myself, we're doomed and we're gonna die alone. If that's the case... I'm sorry.

Just thinking about dating and relationships in my early 20s compared to now, the following thoughts come to mind from what I experienced.

-looking for a spark. Typically the anxious feeling I get when I was sexually attracted to someone was that spark. Usually the other felt it too
-friends opinions of you mattered more than hers. Social life was too much to give up.
- people often didn't know what they wanted. I didn't know either. All I know is that I wanted a hot girl and I wanted to sleep with her. This wasn't going to develop any relationship with anyone.
- people often confused things about the opposite sex which did open the door for abusive relationships: I found some women would be confused between a mans ego and confidence and man would confuse forgiveness and trust.
- most relationships were often superficial and people would break up or halt relationship momentum over the silliest arguments or because the other "gulped too loudly and it was really annoying". (The last was an excuse I got for being dumped... Over a physical attribute I had no control over)

Yeah, that's why I should've been doing this when I was younger. I missed so many opportunities when I was younger... to think of some of the girls in high school who were interested in me who I ignored. I just need to go back in time and kick myself.

And nowadays the problem with trail and error is I only get to go on a few dates a year... and each one is slightly less of a disaster... I'm getting better but I'm getting better at a glacial pace.

Maybe but I know some couples out in meatspace who seem like complete opposites. They have opposites strengths, opposite shortcomings... it seems to work for them. If there was a girl who had the same fears as I do, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

whats meatspace ?

real world life, f2f, IOW the real planet and not the wrong [right] planet.

The space between cheese and tomato sauce on a pizza. Also occurs between lettuce and bottom burger bun.

Though slightly more tricky to find, meatspace constitutes a subset of hammerspace from which a person might obtain a giant salami for use in self-defense. Rabbits excel at sniffing these areas out, especially when pursued by revolver-weilding bandits.

I recovered in the sense that I went from a dateless dude to a dude who gets plenty of dates. I've honestly been getting a little too much attention lately...ain't nobody got time for that! However, I haven't recovered in the sense that none of said dates have actually led to a relationship, which is ultimately what I'm after. I nearly always end up getting 2-4 dates from each person, but there's a wall there that I can't break past. I feel like I'm *almost* there, but I still struggle quite a bit with one particular aspect of dating that I think is significantly holding me back.

I think that inexperience is only an issue if you actually tell someone the extent of your inexperience. I am pretty much always honest to a fault, but this is the one and only thing that I would even consider lying about to a potential partner (I would probably tell the truth though just because it's a hard lie to cover up if they ever ask about past relationships in detail). I think that never having had a relationship sends a huge red flag to most women, since it makes them wonder why you've never had one and what prevented you.

There is no cutoff age, but I think that the older you get, the less accepting your potential partners will be of your inexperience.

so meetspace or meeting in public? o.O
people on the interenet are real people there for it is real world life. the people i kill in gta are computer generated there for not real life. i hate when people are like the people on the net are real people >:(