sometimes it's difficult to believe love exists

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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Oct 2014, 11:46 am

Thank you Alexander :p.
But I am not pessemistic nor I hate people, you are confusing logic with bitterness.

What I said is purely based on logic: The more you get the market late, the more likely you find bad apples in the basket (in case they renew shelfs once in morning).



androbot01
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27 Oct 2014, 11:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Thank you Alexander :p.
But I am not pessemistic nor I hate people, you are confusing logic with bitterness.

What I said is purely based on logic: The more you get the market late, the more likely you find bad apples in the basket (in case they renew shelfs once in morning).


What about untimely death / Someone desirable might be widowed.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Oct 2014, 12:02 pm

I think the jerks are much more than widows, statistically.



androbot01
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27 Oct 2014, 12:57 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I think the jerks are much more than widows, statistically.


Not to mention the widows who are also jerks. Yeah it's pretty grim. Sometimes I feel like I'm grasping at anything that will make me forget how alone I feel.



em_tsuj
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27 Oct 2014, 9:31 pm

CynicalWaffle wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
i fear too many men out there are bastards, and that all the good ones are taken.


This is not just a fear, it's a reality, the good ones are more likely to be taken and the older you get the less likely to find good ones in your dating pool = and more likely to find worse leftovers.


Good ones are either taken or nobody wants them. There's no in-between. And the ones who are taken are quite lucky. Today's society values as*holes of both sexes.

Anyway, love really doesn't exist. Lust, sure.


There are too many long-time married couples for love not to exist. It might start out as lust, but it builds into love. I've seen it too many times to doubt its existence.



sly279
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27 Oct 2014, 9:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
i fear too many men out there are bastards, and that all the good ones are taken.


This is not just a fear, it's a reality, the good ones are more likely to be taken and the older you get the less likely to find good ones in your dating pool = and more likely to find worse leftovers.


depends on what you consider a good one

good man= has decent paying carreer with options of promotion, owns a decent truck/car, has own place.
or
good man= kind, caring, funny, doesn't abuse people

the first is far more likely to be taken while the 2nd is avoided like the plague but most modern women. '

now they'd probably prefer a combination but life doesn't always work like that. most of the 2nd are likely to do whatever it takes to take advantage of people in order to get promoted. I could never lie to people to make sales and get promoted, while i've been told most nt's will. in fact me saying I won't seems so crazy to them. but eventually i'll die and be free so who gives a frak.



Dillogic
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28 Oct 2014, 12:00 am

Sure, it exists, but it comes with an expiry date.

For some it's short (one night, yo), for others it's till death.



Toy_Soldier
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28 Oct 2014, 7:40 am

Yes it is real. It may not happen to everyone. But it does exist and there are different kinds and different stages. And as already mentioned it can have different lifespans.

Its not going to be exactly the same for every person. There are too many nuances in personalities.

But sometimes it can be a very powerful emotional experience, at times almost overpowering, and if going well, almost magical. The words people use to describe it might lead one who has not experienced it to think it is fantasy.



Cryptex
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28 Oct 2014, 8:51 am

Here's how I think it works:

Yes, love exists. But it's difficult to find.
Asking "Why do you love me?" doesn't make sense. Love is a feeling, created by your brain.

Biologically speaking, "the perfect one" doesn't exist. But during your lifetime it can happen that you start to feel a connection with another person. It's based on survival instinct. You try to find a person that you think gives you the highest chance of survival and reproduction. You can't explain why you experience it, it just happens. The first thing you notice about another person is the looks. If you say looks don't matter, you're lying. Beauty is important to give a good first impression. Then comes personality. And when you think there's a "perfect" balance between similar interest, and opposite personality traits, it's possible that you will start to fall in love. Sometimes in happens within seconds (love at first sight, although I think I wouldn't be able to experience that), sometimes it happens after many years, spending time with that person (friends -> lovers).

During that relationship you both love each other very much. It feels amazing. You think you've found "the perfect one". There's nothing wrong with that, but know that it's just "the best one, you've seen in your life". If you would have met more people in your life, it might just as well have been someone else.

When you break up with someone, that feeling should fade away. And after a certain period of time it can happen again with someone else. If you break up with someone, and after a while he/she finds someone else it will probably make you angry. I understand. But in fact it's perfectly normal.

This is probably a very autistic way of thinking :). However, should I and another girl fall in love, I would do everything to stay in that relationship. I would love her with my heart. And should anything happen (being it pure the pure biological feeling, or something else), I would try to reinforce it. Losing someone after you've found her/him is worse than not finding someone at all.

So take your time, but if you want to fall in love, spend time talking to people. Meet more people.

Edit: I've read about aromance and asexuality. The above doesn't apply for them. There's still a lot to learn about that. I totally respect these people.
Some people call it bullsh*t. I perfectly understand what it means. It's not a choice, it's just...you. It's a sexuality like another. The fact that they don't experience everything of this is not necessarily sad. If they don't know how it feels, they can't miss it.



AlexanderDantes
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28 Oct 2014, 9:02 am

Cryptex wrote:
Here's how I think it works:

Yes, love exists. But it's difficult to find.
Asking "Why do you love me?" doesn't make sense. Love is a feeling, created by your brain.

Biologically speaking, "the perfect one" doesn't exist. But during your lifetime it can happen that you start to feel a connection with another person. It's based on survival instinct. You try to find a person that you think gives you the highest chance of survival and reproduction. You can't explain why you experience it, it just happens. The first thing you notice about another person is the looks. If you say looks don't matter, you're lying. Beauty is important to give a good first impression. Then comes personality. And when you think there's a "perfect" balance between similar interest, and opposite personality traits, it's possible that you will start to fall in love. Sometimes in happens within seconds (love at first sight, although I think I wouldn't be able to experience that), sometimes it happens after many years, spending time with that person (friends -> lovers).

During that relationship you both love each other very much. It feels amazing. You think you've found "the perfect one". There's nothing wrong with that, but know that it's just "the best one, you've seen in your life". If you would have met more people in your life, it might just as well have been someone else.

When you break up with someone, that feeling should fade away. And after a certain period of time it can happen again with someone else. If you break up with someone, and after a while he/she finds someone else it will probably make you angry. I understand. But in fact it's perfectly normal.

This is probably a very autistic way of thinking :). However, should I and another girl fall in love, I would do everything to stay in that relationship. I would love her with my heart. And should anything happen (being it pure the pure biological feeling, or something else), I would try to reinforce it. Losing someone after you've found her/him is worse than not finding someone at all.

So take your time, but if you want to fall in love, spend time talking to people. Meet more people.


It is a feeling that can be induced, I was watching a comedy 22 Jump street and I thought to myself that we become immersed in the characters and share their laughter, sadness and embarrassment even though it isn't real. We are allowing ourselves to go into a certain state that connects with us emotionally and on a deeper level, some people immerse themselves in soap dramas as if they are watching a real community.

There's are even programs that use binaural beats to induce a certain state. Some people need a subject to induce this state such as a person, a higher power or nature but you can induce the state of being on your own, Buddhist monks do it through meditation,



Cryptex
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28 Oct 2014, 9:21 am

very good point :).

*like*



hurtloam
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29 Oct 2014, 8:05 am

Toy_Soldier wrote:
Yes it is real. It may not happen to everyone. But it does exist and there are different kinds and different stages. And as already mentioned it can have different lifespans.

Its not going to be exactly the same for every person. There are too many nuances in personalities.

But sometimes it can be a very powerful emotional experience, at times almost overpowering, and if going well, almost magical. The words people use to describe it might lead one who has not experienced it to think it is fantasy.


Nice comment. I would agree with all of that.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Oct 2014, 10:59 am

hurtloam.... yes love exists...

I can't hold this any longer...

You know why?


because...

















I LOVE YOU! :heart:






















I am a very bad liar, am I?