To pay on a date or not? Is it a trap?

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I had another date this evening, and I'm worried I screwed up (again). Things were going well, then she got up to use the restroom, and the check came. I picked up the tab. She came back and saw what I had done, and Idunno I 'm not sure if she liked it or not. Or if I embarassed her, or was implying anything?

I just did it to be nice. I guess when it comes down to it, I'm really grateful for each person who agrees to go out on a date with me, so I feel like it's the least I can do. But is that old fashioned? Is it wrong to do?

But if I DON'T offer to pick up the check, if I suggest we split it, is that implying anything negative? Do I risk offending?

Is there ANY correct answer, or am I damned either way? Maybe I should just ask dates out on things that don't cost any money...to bad there's not much out there these days, and it seems a lot of women don't like to go on walks for first dates. Dunno why, I love them.

Anyways there you have it. Did I blow it (again)?

I don't know, is she happy to see you again?

I don't know, we just had the first date. I sent her off a quick message saying I enjoyed meeting her and hoped we'd do it again, but no response yet. I mean, when we parted ways I suggested we get together for a run (we're both runners) and she said "yeah sure," but nothing specific, so she could've just been polite. I sure hope she meant it. I'm praying this time will finally be the charm. I'm due for SOME success, I hope.

She doesn't sound interested I am afraid; nor she's acting like it.

No, you didn't. You just did something nice, and you really don't sound like the kind of person that was implying anything by doing so. If she sees it as something negative, well, then that's really her loss. Splitting the bill I find a terribly Dutch thing to do, better be old fashioned.

Well first off, the fact that you ended up paying for the bill is not something to be looked upon as "bad behavior", cause actually it's quite the opposite, you were being nice, a gentleman i'd say since you chose to pay for the food. If she looked upon that act from your side as offensive, well then that just makes her the strange person, not you. I can admit though that i often do feel a sense of shame if someone pay's for something for me etc., but if a guy chose to pay for the dinner on one of our first dates i wouldn't get offended by it, instead I'd find it sweet from his side

The fact that she didn't respond though to the message you sent later on, most likely is a sign that she isn't interested any longer.
If not she's very very caught up in trying not to look to eager, or maybe something has happened, but yeah, i think that most likely in this case it just might be because she has lost interest. Well then, that's to bad for her.

There are many other girls out there, who would appreciate you, and your kind ways, so don't let those silly girls who doesn't get you down, move on from these time wasters and keep trying, and at some point you will find yourself in the company of someone who likes you just the way you are.

You shouldn't overthink small things like that.. just pay. I find it's easiest to just pay because it avoids conflict. I don't think any date has been ruined ever because a guy paid, but if she cares, if she really prefers to split the bill, she'll speak up and do it. If not.. just pay. Problem solved.

I think it was a very nice and gentlemanly thing to do. I personally don't mind going Dutch at all.

I agree. Don't overthink it. Paying is a better option (the worst it comes across is still nice). Offering to split the bill carries more risk. Just pay.

Think statistically --> you'll upset less this way.

Getting into something you both enjoy is a great idea. I'd say give her a little space to digest the evening and then text her about a concrete group of times to choose from to run together. The group of times gives her a chance to work around schedule issues or suggest an alternate time. If she isn't interested, this will gently force her to say so (or not reply, which is rude, but happens).

It would be ridiculous for her to be offended by you paying the check.

If she's offended, then she has problems.

You did the right, smart thing.

You didn't screw up.

If she's not interested, there's other fish in the sea.

LOL....at least you didn't try to kiss her (you know I'm just kidding, right?)

I'm Dutch, and always a bit embarrassed by our reputation.

I'm Dutch too and I think it's hilarious

I am of Dutch descent--yet I've rarely gone "Dutch" in my life

I am a Dutch Boy customer, I buy it to paint my walls.

Never understood this. Women want equality but then still expect the man to pay for a date, even if she asked the man out on a date first.

Can somebody explain this to me? I just don't get it.

For the same reason why engagment rings for women usually have diamonds, while for men don't. Good they don't, because he has to buy both of them anynway .