 
Support Wrong Planet Awareness!
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Chuck
le concierge de muse'e imaginaire
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Posts: 1893
Location: with you :)
|
 Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:47 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| Sedaka wrote: | ...that passage was refering mainly for when i teach... depending on the interaction required for the lesson... sometimes i feel like i may be coming across as if i don't know what im doing... and it's just that aspie issue of the interaction itself.... i know i may never improve there... am just glad my teaching days are coming to an end!
woohoo RAs!!!!!!!!! |
My sister teaches at a nearby college. She has a PhD in psychology, and is the director of the department. She's autistic/Aspie/ADD. Everyone wants to take her classes because she's funny. She transposes her words, freezes up when her eyes meet any one else's, forgets where she was going mid-sentence, gets stuck trying to find a word...
She tells everyone on the first day that she's like this, she embraces it, and they will have to too. She says "Sometimes it will seem as if I don't know what I'm doing, and maybe I don't, so it will be up to you to figure that out for yourselves". She smiles and explains "If I get stuck searching for a word, you'll have to throw it out for me, or I won't be able to continue". So later, when she does get stuck they start throwing out random words: "Banana!" (she shakes her head no) "Swimming pool!" (no) "Chihuahua?" (no) "Long-legged Frenchman wearing a green beret going for stroll along Champs-Elysees? (she looks up into that student's eyes, freezing completely, the class laughs, she gets out her ping pong ball rifle and attacks everyone.....
She makes it all into a game and they love it, and have to pay attention to help her out.
Hope you learn to have fun with it!!!  |
|
| Back to top |
|
methinks
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 07, 2007
Age: 40
Posts: 348
|
| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 12:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| That is brilliant. |
|
| Back to top |
|
DeaconBlues
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide - call me...
Joined: Apr 22, 2007
Posts: 1621
Location: Earth, mostly
|
| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 12:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Chuck wrote: | | She tells everyone on the first day that she's like this, she embraces it, and they will have to too. She says "Sometimes it will seem as if I don't know what I'm doing, and maybe I don't, so it will be up to you to figure that out for yourselves". She smiles and explains "If I get stuck searching for a word, you'll have to throw it out for me, or I won't be able to continue". So later, when she does get stuck they start throwing out random words: "Banana!" (she shakes her head no) "Swimming pool!" (no) "Chihuahua?" (no) "Long-legged Frenchman wearing a green beret going for stroll along Champs-Elysees? (she looks up into that student's eyes, freezing completely, the class laughs, she gets out her ping pong ball rifle and attacks everyone..... |
Please, please tell me you're not just exaggerating for effect, and the ping-pong-ball-rifle thing actually happens!
_________________
If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion. - Robert A. Heinlein |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chuck
le concierge de muse'e imaginaire
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Posts: 1893
Location: with you :)
|
| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 1:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| DeaconBlues wrote: | | [Please, please tell me you're not just exaggerating for effect, and the ping-pong-ball-rifle thing actually happens! |
Yep! It's true. (She carries a ping pong pistol as well). She took a long time selecting just the right weapon - something balanced and sleek, easily maneuverable, left and right hand accessible, rapid-fire, that wouldn't hurt anyone, and would make a loud cartoony "ker-POP"- ing sound when it fires. Of course, they are allowed to shoot her back. She also shoots anyone who's cell phone goes off, and anyone caught talking on one.
The point being, Sedaka (and thank you for clarifying the issue for me): If you think you've got a weakness, just lay it on the table on the front end. Let the cat out of the bag. Expose the Boogey Man. Point at it. Make fun of it! Smile! Laugh at it!
Example, if you think you are going to be boring with today's lecture, say, "You'll find stowed beneath each of your chairs a small emergency cushion. If today's lecture gets as boring as I think it might, and your eyes get heavy and your neck gets wobbly, please put the cushion on your desk. We don't want any skull fractures today." (use the postures and exaggerated motions and pasted-on smile of an airline stewardess). Then if you see someone nodding out shout "Hey! Get the cushion! I warned ya' didn't I! Sheesh! I don't wanna hafta do CPR!"
Now they are on your side.
Learning show tunes helps too. Randomly breaking into song "...I am, the King, of the FORRREEEST!!!" , especially when it makes no sense, will crack you up anyway.
But if things start going really bad: Hold up your finger and widen your eyes like you've just come up with a great idea. Say, "THAT reminds me!!!" Now run out of the classroom. Run to your car. Get in. Crank it up. Peel out of the parking lot. Floor it to the nearest Wendy's. Go in, grab the drive-thru cashier, and two large ice teas. Stuff them all into your car. Jump in, and drive to the ocean!!!
Feel free to ask the Wendy's drive-thru cashier anything. I think he/she is/am god. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2598
Location: Middle East
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 3:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| That was a hilarious read, thank you! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 4:24 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Chuck wrote: | | Sedaka wrote: | ...that passage was refering mainly for when i teach... depending on the interaction required for the lesson... sometimes i feel like i may be coming across as if i don't know what im doing... and it's just that aspie issue of the interaction itself.... i know i may never improve there... am just glad my teaching days are coming to an end!
woohoo RAs!!!!!!!!! |
My sister teaches at a nearby college. She has a PhD in psychology, and is the director of the department. She's autistic/Aspie/ADD. Everyone wants to take her classes because she's funny. She transposes her words, freezes up when her eyes meet any one else's, forgets where she was going mid-sentence, gets stuck trying to find a word...
She tells everyone on the first day that she's like this, she embraces it, and they will have to too. She says "Sometimes it will seem as if I don't know what I'm doing, and maybe I don't, so it will be up to you to figure that out for yourselves". She smiles and explains "If I get stuck searching for a word, you'll have to throw it out for me, or I won't be able to continue". So later, when she does get stuck they start throwing out random words: "Banana!" (she shakes her head no) "Swimming pool!" (no) "Chihuahua?" (no) "Long-legged Frenchman wearing a green beret going for stroll along Champs-Elysees? (she looks up into that student's eyes, freezing completely, the class laughs, she gets out her ping pong ball rifle and attacks everyone.....
She makes it all into a game and they love it, and have to pay attention to help her out.
Hope you learn to have fun with it!!! |
yeah im learning to roll with the punches...
im not too sure how much i would divulge... does she tell em straight up about AS?
i can do ok looking at people... i look at one eye and usually we have something they want me to look at... so it's not too bad.
but i do get eye contact moments.
_________________
got free science papers?
www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chuck
le concierge de muse'e imaginaire
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Posts: 1893
Location: with you :)
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Sedaka wrote: | yeah im learning to roll with the punches...
im not too sure how much i would divulge... does she tell em straight up about AS?
i can do ok looking at people... i look at one eye and usually we have something they want me to look at... so it's not too bad.
but i do get eye contact moments. |
Dear Sedaka,
I'm glad that you're learning to roll with those punches! (Your aikido training, perhaps? ) I know that you are very smart.
My sister divulges everything that she feels comfortable sharing with her classes, which is a lot more now that she's 50 than she did when she was your age. (There is only one thing she isn't comfortable divulging, and so neither will I - but it isn't her Asperger's). The first time she decided to open up, she was scared to death. Would she lose her job? Would her students accept her? Would it be unprofessional? Would there be complaints?
She found out that they loved her for it! She became a real person for them, someone willing to accept and share herself, and they saw that she would also accept them for who they were as well. (She wasn't doing a good job of hiding it prior anyway! ) People started opening up in her classes. They now felt comfortable asking her questions, especially seeing how she joked around about her own "problems", and many began admitting that they themselves also had autism, Aspergers, ADD, auditory and speech problems, etc. Now whenever she discusses a particular "disorder", any in the class who have it are encouraged to provide their life perspective about it. The learning is made memorable and real, and not just "from the book". She could be herself, get that part out of the way, and be free to assist her students in understanding and loving the cousework.
My sister has eye contact problems that are very severe. I have learned to deal with it somewhat - but can still get"brain freeze" when it happens! If you figure out how to solve this problem, please share it with me! (Although, honestly, I just think it's funny when it happens now).
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Aside: I hope that you don't think that I think that you need my help - it probably seems to you that I'm always "diving in" when you post!
I must divulge the truth so that you understand what's been going on. And first and foremost, please forgive me if I have ever offended you - I would never intentionally do that. And I hope that what I am about to say won't make you uncomfortable or embarrassed. So, on to the explanation:
Until I became too old to do so, I always wanted to have a little girl! I would have loved to have raised a daughter. Of course, that never happened. I started reading your posts and getting to know you: an intelligent, very kind and somewhat quiet, yet funny and slightly quirky aikido biology lover! WOW!!! If ever I would have had a daughter, I'm sure that she would have been very much you. So I have been following you around fascinated by the person that you are, until it dawned on me that it may seem to you like I'm stalking you at this point. Please forgive me if I have creeped you out!!! 
It was just very nice for me to have had the opportunity to see through you who she might have been. Meeting you, I know and mean in all sincerity, I would have been very proud and honored to have been her dad. You are a wonderful person! I'm very impressed by who you are. I hope that you will never change. But change is inevitable, and you will change, as everything does. In your case, the outcome will surely be a masterpiece!
Best wishes to you, Sedaka, in whatever life path you decide to travel! I hope that you will have a long, fun-filled, happy life - however you define that for yourself.
Chuck
If you ever need my help with anything, please feel free to ask. Not that I think you need it, or ever will!
PS. I may still respond occasionally to your posts, as I am always interested in your thoughts. Unless I am making you uncomfortable. If so, just let me know, and I will stop.
Take care my friend! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chuck
le concierge de muse'e imaginaire
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Posts: 1893
Location: with you :)
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Greentea wrote: | | That was a hilarious read, thank you! |
You're welcome! I think, as I said once before, my life would make a funny movie, but it's kinda already been done - Forrest Gump Meets Dumb and Dumber.
Note to Sedaka: that's how I know you couldn't be my daughter - you're waaaaaaayyyy too smart to have come from me!
(As Forrest said of Bubba: "We are no relation.") |
|
| Back to top |
|
blessedmom
Cynically Optimistic Daydreamer
Joined: Apr 10, 2007
Posts: 4284
Location: Western Canada
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Chuck wrote: | | Greentea wrote: | | That was a hilarious read, thank you! |
You're welcome! I think, as I said once before, my life would make a funny movie, but it's kinda already been done - Forrest Gump Meets Dumb and Dumber.
Note to Sedaka: that's how I know you couldn't be my daughter - you're waaaaaaayyyy too smart to have come from me!
(As Forrest said of Bubba: "We are no relation.") |
Who in the world ever accused you of not being smart?  There are many, many kinds of SMART and you have the best kind. The "make people feel fully understood and validated" type of smart. The deep-thinking philosophical type of smart that most intellectual people don't "get".
_________________
It is what it is....... |
|
| Back to top |
|
blessedmom
Cynically Optimistic Daydreamer
Joined: Apr 10, 2007
Posts: 4284
Location: Western Canada
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
And I find it easier now that I know what's up with me. I think we also become easier on ourselves with age. I know I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. If someone doesn't like the fact that I wring my hands while I talk to them, it is there problem. They don't have to like it and it helps me focus on what they are saying. I also knit ALL OF THE TIME. It bothers people when I am waiting for an appointment and I am knitting. Someone on WP pointed out that it is the ultimate form of stimming. I calm myself, I can avoid other people's eyes and I make a fabulous pair of socks or a washcloth.
It also helps that I know about my kids having AS and my father and some of his relatives. It has helped me get past a whole lot of things that have occurred in my life.
_________________
It is what it is....... |
|
| Back to top |
|
kittenfluffies
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2007
Posts: 567
Location: Gulfport, MS
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have been a lot easier on myself. I am not as embarassed about my behavior because I understand why I do certain things. I no longer try to hide things like my obsessions - I just make a mental note not to talk so much about them around people who aren't interested.
Now, I have gone through the whole "WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS SOONER???" depression that still bothers me. I went through years of hell in school not understanding myself or other people's reactions to me. It scarred me deeply and if I had known AS maybe I could have had access to people who could have helped me.
_________________
Mew mew mew, mew mew mew mew? Mew. Mew mew mew mew, mew. Mew mew, mew. Mew! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gromit
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: May 20, 2006
Posts: 519
Location: In Cognito
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Chuck wrote: | They walked up to the table and everyone said, "Hi _______! Hi Tom!" My wife was all smiles. She scanned the table. Spotted me and froze. I was all smiles. She tried to make a recovery, then stammered to the table: "Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my husband Chuck."
Now, I wish it would have been possible to take a picture of the face of every single person seated at that table at just that instant, because THAT, my friends, that right there, was a Kodak moment. |
Oooh, yes. I would pay money to see that. This is the kind of stuff that makes good memories.
| Chuck wrote: | | I told my wife that night that I could see that she was happy with Tom, and that I wanted a divorce. She fumed," That's just like you! Abandon me now, when I've been invited to get a cancer specialty degree at Emory! How could you?!" |
Now that is real chutzpah. You could almost admire it.
| Chuck wrote: | | So when I was diagnosed, my psychiatrist told me that, erm, Chuck, we've got to get a handle on your money management skills. |
Not necessarily. Let's just call you the Buddha of Compassion, and refer to the Chinese saying that giving and receiving are like breathing. If you try only to breathe in or only to breathe out, you suffocate. So long as you have enough money left over for yourself, where is the problem?
| Chuck wrote: | I do recharge at home alone. I thought living in the woods would clue people in that I'd like to be left alone "thank you very much". But people kept coming by. So I went to Goodwill and bought the biggest pair of worn-out work boots I could find. They must be size 22. I set them outside the front door. Then I went dumpster diving and collected a bag full of empty beer cans. I scattered them all around the deck. Then I posted two signs. One says: "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again." The other says: "Marine sniper. You can run, but you will die tired." Downstairs, in a chair that you can see from each window, and both doors I made a dummy that looks very lifelike. And he's HUGE. and there's a sawed-off shotgun across his lap. And a chainsaw at his feet.
Now, even the church people never come by. |
The perfect way of making sure you do have enough left for yourself. You are a great guy.
Gromit |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gromit
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: May 20, 2006
Posts: 519
Location: In Cognito
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Sedaka wrote: | | that passage was refering mainly for when i teach... depending on the interaction required for the lesson... sometimes i feel like i may be coming across as if i don't know what im doing... |
I teach, and I worried about it before I started, but it's been OK. Big classes (200 or so) are no problem, smaller classes can even be fun, if I can get the students to ask questions occasionally. Look at it like that: I get to talk about my special interest for hours on end without having to back anyone into a corner, no one is offended, they even like it when I am enthusiastic, and I get paid for it! It's the administration and the grading which bore me so much, my toenails curl up.
The answer to your original question depends on whether you mean has it made a difference to how I judge myself (none) or has it made a difference to what I do (yes). Once I saw the pattern of what was going wrong (before I ever heard of AS), the only practical option I saw to minimize harm both to others and to me was to avoid close involvement.
If I had known earlier, I think I could have developed tolerance to some normal behaviours, and I would have had more opportunity to learn what I would have needed to make myself more compatible with the norm. Then I would have had other and better options. But after some years of adaptation I am OK with avoidance, so it has worked out just fine. The adaptation process is a bit rough, so in that sense I have been harder on myself.
Gromit |
|
| Back to top |
|
Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 3729
Location: New Zealand
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
I would have to say, that I am alot harder on myself since of my diagnosis. If I do something that is considered "weird" or not "normal" and I notice it , I will be dissapointed in myself because I know I have AS, but I am letting it "defeat" me. In some cases, I go a little easier on myself...such as failing a test, or things that are considered "normal". Because I know that there are ALOT of people out here who do these things, whether they are Aspies, Auties or NT's etc.
_________________
The hero is no braver than the ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You haven't failed until you quit trying.
- Unknown Author.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Chuck
le concierge de muse'e imaginaire
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Posts: 1893
Location: with you :)
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Gromit wrote: | | ...Oooh, yes. I would pay money to see that. This is the kind of stuff that makes good memories....Now that is real chutzpah. You could almost admire it... |
Hahaha!  Thank you for your kind words in all your comments Gromit.
Chuck |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
