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carolgatto
Snowy Owl
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 142
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 Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 10:15 am Post subject: What do you think goes on in an all NT household? |
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OK, so today I am thinking about life in general and thinking about all the positive things we experience because we have our children to help us see the world in a different way. I wonder if people in an all NT house think in the same way we do. Share with me some of the positives in your life...........
Do you think parents would look at their child covering himself in as many handfuls of grass as he can pull out of their lawn they worked so hard to get and just think, "He's Happy"?
Do you think that they know they should FEEL a flower instead of just look at it and smell it?
Do you think they give up at 2:00 am and decide to make popcorn and read stories to their kids who cannot sleep?
Do you think they know that numbers should be certain colors?
Do you think they know that the first spontaneous response from their child is just as important as the first homerun?
Do you think they know that having children who are different can be a wonderful thing and not just a burden? |
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Lo
Blue Jay
Joined: Jan 30, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 92
Location: Northern Ireland
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 10:18 am Post subject: |
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| I don't know - would there be anything that always happens in an ALL NT household? Everyone has their quirks so all households would be different, NT or autistic/Asperger. Anyway who in the world is UTTERLY NT in every way?? |
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carolgatto
Snowy Owl
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 142
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 10:42 am Post subject: |
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| I guess you are right to some extent, but in a house that doesn't deal with stuff like sensory issues and inflexibility do you think they have to deal with things like broccoli absolutely cannot touch the potatoes? I'm just wondering. I have never lived in a house that would be considered "normal." I know that all families have some issues, but let's face it we certainly have some unique things to deal with on a daily basis. |
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girl7000
Majestic Eagle Owl
Joined: Mar 11, 2007
Posts: 1263
Location: Somewhere in the Atlantic
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 10:49 am Post subject: |
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I'm still going through the phase of being cynical about NTs- I know I shouldn't, but I'm sure I'll grow out of it.
I imagine NT houses being disorded - no sense of routine or structure, having slow computers that don't work and they don't know how to fix them, being unnecessarily loud, smelly and dirty and loads of pointless conversations about superficial subjects. There would also always be loads of people around because NT's seem to want to socialise all the time - It's like they can't bear to be alone. |
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Kilroy
Establishment knows whats best
Joined: Apr 25, 2007
Posts: 10471
Location: Driving the Last Spike
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:01 am Post subject: |
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well (besides me) my whole house is full of NT's
I often wonder why they do what they do...
I've never met anther aspie so I'm stuck sometimes trying to be an NT and not...
I'm odd in that way you know...
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Hail Saltandor
supporter for the cure |
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KimJ
Legend in my own mind
Joined: Jun 11, 2006
Posts: 2538
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:32 am Post subject: |
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For the most part, I was raised in an NT house. It was very orderly and clean and everyone had their roles. My parents were children of the 40's and 50's and believed in all that conservative stuff. Everything was done and maintained to be "just like everyone else" and you were weird if you didn't fit in, it was a moral failing. They skipped the 60's by getting married and having kids and being very "responsible".
I slowly found out that a lot of the rules I grew up with weren't personally held beliefs or even decisions they came to by logic-but by the assumptions that "that's what everyone does or thinks". It was really frightening and frustrating knowing that a lot of their rules weren't out of reason but fear of "not being accepted".
I have a relative who is considered senile and she was made that way. She covered up family stories, skeletons in the closet, abuse and controversy by lying all the time and saying everything was alright. She had so many faces to put on, she finally tired of it and just lost her mind.
I fear my dad will go the same route. He goes to great lengths to justify his past and his present. For instance, he's had a lifelong battle with obesity. He's noticeably fat. However, he refuses to go swimming in case someone sees his stomach. He's very ill because he won't exercise and now he can really only swim. But "what would people think?" is his overriding thought pattern. It's caused his depression, isolation (ironically), disability and delusional thinking habits.
My brother was like them until he left the house and "grew up". He is NT but has limited his socializing. He decides his own rules for his family. We didn't get along as children because "I was the weird one" and he was always doing things for approval. |
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rushfanatic
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 11, 2006
Age: 42
Posts: 465
Location: Lovely Ohio
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:54 am Post subject: nt household........ |
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| I would guess they fill up their schedules with an overload of sports for the kids so they will be overachievers, even thought the kids want out of them, they have neighborhood bbq parties so they can brag about the huge plasma tv they just bought or the jacuzzi that holds 9 people, or wasting a day of golf so they can brag once more about their possessions....then they come home to a quiet home because the kids are not to be around to bother them, they drink until they are loopy because they can't afford to live such a alifestyle but feel they must keep up with the Jones.....Not being cynical, I just truly believe it this way..... |
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Eller
Deinonychus
Joined: May 02, 2007
Posts: 302
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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Aspies and NT people are both human, so there are not that many differences. My best friend's family (all NTs) do NOT have any weird parties every day (of course they socialise, but my family does that too, and I don't have a problem with socialising), they don't brag about things they bought, they definitely don't drink, their apartment is neither untidy nor unnecessarily loud, and they're totally nice people. (And not stupid or superficial either.) I always liked visiting that family. Could it be that some people here are a bit predjudiced about NTs?  |
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rushfanatic
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 11, 2006
Age: 42
Posts: 465
Location: Lovely Ohio
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 12:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh, no, no, of course not....but it is all around me... when I turn on the tv I am ambushed by the lame sitcoms who have their kids as overachievers, the mom is on the pta, they have get-togethers where it is standing room only and brag about all under the sun....as, in reality, I see kids who are doing 2 sports at once, sometimes on the same night, because the parents want their kids to overexcell, they want all the materialistic possessions, along with the biggest home and vehicle... I do not want to ruffle any feathers, but in my heart there is only simplicity needed in my life, a sense of humility and tranquility...NT"S seem to use a credit card like it is part of their breathing skills, it's just gotta be used to live...I have in-laws who are very competive, very sports-oriented, and if you are not on their same level, you are waved away and ignored...They buy the most expensive stuff that is not impressive at all.....Oh my, I am getting negative and I don't mean to be....I just see how differently I am to others...... |
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Danielismyname
Alone around people
Joined: Apr 03, 2007
Posts: 6031
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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Evil stuff. Definitely evil stuff....
I grew up in one...mostly anyway, my mother is 50/50 AS/NT so I understood her [and she me] the most out of our family. I cannot understand my sister or father who both are on the other extreme if autism is on one end; they just thought I was "weird", and they also thought the worst of me due to me not talking to them. At least my father never pushed me to do what I couldn't do, and my mother understood that I had trouble with mainstream schooling and society even if she didn't know I had a "disorder".
I haven't known any different..., and I think I did pretty well for someone who missed the overtly proactive diagnostic approach of today. O yeah, I was a mute "NT" until a few months ago.  |
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SteelMaiden
Electromagnet pointed towards the computer.
Joined: Aug 20, 2006
Age: 19
Posts: 1655
Location: Londinium
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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I can't say that any of my friends are very NT. One of them comes from a bizarre family. The other two come from rather above-average-IQ families.
I do remember seeing an article a while ago about the life of a normal boy... It was in the Guardian...
He did hardly any homework. Liked his trampoline... Nothing special.
One thing's for sure, the NT household would not adhere to a routine like my Mum does for me. And not many families eat dinner at 5pm. Or breakfast at 7am on weekends.  They would think it weird if their child started verbal diarrhoea on organic chemistry, or had pieces of paper with organic structural formulae all over their walls, or have pathology books piled up next to their bed! 
_________________
Diagnosed AS and appear to be continuously fighting the illness in my mind. |
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KimJ
Legend in my own mind
Joined: Jun 11, 2006
Posts: 2538
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Could it be that some people here are a bit predjudiced about NTs? |
I only addressed the NT household I grew up in as that was the original question. I won't even go into my parents' friends' households, which were even more extreme than mine. They were the neurotic peers my parents were trying to simulate.  |
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carolgatto
Snowy Owl
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 142
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:05 am Post subject: |
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So you don't think my kids are missing out on something they should have or need?
I grew up in a large family (11 kids) of very different individuals, some were all about fitting in, but most were doing their own thing. My father was very strict and my mother basically parented to be sure that none of us upset Dad if you know what I mean. Looking back now, knowing what I know about my kids I see that these aspie traits were all over the place. Dad who did amazing as a milatary man, but when out of the service didn't really know what to do and how to get along without the massive structure, my brothers who although extremely intelligent could not take the public school system and dropped out, my sister who basically became a hermit by the time she was a teen. All these things made us different from other families who like many have said were all about "keeping up with the Jones' "
I know that my parenting style is very different than most families around us, and I worry sometimes about weather or not I should try to conform. I know that my kids are different and need different things than other kids, but am I hurting them in anyway by doing things the way I do? |
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rushfanatic
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 11, 2006
Age: 42
Posts: 465
Location: Lovely Ohio
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:15 am Post subject: |
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| I also worry about this, keeping up with with the Jones....Are their cups half full, or half-empty? As long as they appreciate their life, their home and family,get lots of hugs and I love yous, get fed good things that they like, know the golden rule, and respect their world around them, then they have a full cup in front of them.....My daughter, who is autistic and 17 , refuses to spend any birthday money, she just puts it away for keeps. I asked her a couple of years ago why she does not want to buy things for herself, and she said," I have the sun and the moon". Bless her for appreciating the simple things.....There is a poem, Desiderata, which says it all...do not compare yourself to others, for there will be greater and lesser people than yourself..it is a lovely poem, and helps us to appreciate the true meanings in life, things that possessions cannot bring us....have a great day.! |
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carolgatto
Snowy Owl
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 142
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:18 am Post subject: |
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| rushfanatic wrote: | | I also worry about this, keeping up with with the Jones....Are their cups half full, or half-empty? As long as they appreciate their life, their home and family,get lots of hugs and I love yous, get fed good things that they like, know the golden rule, and respect their world around them, then they have a full cup in front of them.....My daughter, who is autistic and 17 , refuses to spend any birthday money, she just puts it away for keeps. I asked her a couple of years ago why she does not want to buy things for herself, and she said," I have the sun and the moon". Bless her for appreciating the simple things.....There is a poem, Desiderata, which says it all...do not compare yourself to others, for there will be greater and lesser people than yourself..it is a lovely poem, and helps us to appreciate the true meanings in life, things that possessions cannot bring us....have a great day.! |
Thank You!! |
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