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autisticstar
Raven
Joined: Jul 31, 2007
Posts: 101
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 Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:52 pm Post subject: Inexperienced over 40 men |
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| Should I be concerned if a man is over 40 years old and has never had a sexual encounter? I have met and dated some men who are over 40 who said that they have never had sex before. Some of them I suspect are on the autism spectrum. They were socially awkward but not at all bad looking. I sure hope this doesn't mean that they are gay. Is this common for men on the autism spectrum? I don't mean low functioning; I am referring to men with Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autism. |
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zghost
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 874
Location: Southeast Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Go rent "The 40 Year Old Virgin", it's the worst case senerio type thing. And funny. |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3249
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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well, you have been missing out on some of life's most rewarding (and amazing) activities. That being said, it's not all there is to love and dating.
Still, before you hit 50, I'd take the plunge. Use it while it works... |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1323
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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People who make a big deal out of this are incredibly shallow.
All it means is that it's not a high priority for you. |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 416
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe he has the desire not to simply have sex, but have it with someone special which he hasn't met yet? I'd say that isn't totally uncommon. Depends how strong his beliefs in such matters are and how seriously he takes them. Also, he might have a low sex drive and simply not care that much about having sex in the first place.
He won't know what he's missing if he never trys it right?
I have no desire to smoke pot, but that doesn't mean I'm weird for not trying it "just to see".
Plus, would you not date a man because he has no "experience"?
I don't see why it should be seen as a downside. That's like not dating a guy that's never been on a date.
"He's never dated anyone! He must be unworthy!". Someone has to date him, and if everyone said this the human race would go extinct in ~80 years.
Last edited by Rynok on Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:30 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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CanyonWind
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2006
Posts: 1385
Location: West of the Great Divide
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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I'd say it's no cause for concern at all, especially if that's your only concern.
A lot of people dislike individuals with aspergers, just on account of their style, not because of anything they've done, so it's nothing unusual for an aspie guy to have experienced an extreme shortage of girlfriends. It doesn't indicate that there's anything wrong with him.
And hey, nobody gets wrapped up in a subject of interest like an aspie. Just consider the possibilities.
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Thou out of heaven's benediction comest
To the warm sun.
Approach, thou beacon to this under globe.
Nothing almost sees miracles but misery.
- from King Lear |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 667
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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| It shouldn't make any difference to you. You either like him or you don't. I can promise that most aspies aren't porn stars, but they can be good guys if you let them. Aspies can come in all different sexual orientations - Straight, gay, and even asexual. Most aspies are not gay. They can take a bit of getting used to in that they don't send or receive body language. You have to communicate in plain English and no other way. |
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traveller011212
Velociraptor
Joined: May 27, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 483
Location: Right here!!
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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When you are used to dealing with men who have been around the block a few times and you encounter a 40 yr old virgin it can be scary. I wouldn't worry about his sexual preference. I just means that his priorities have not allowed him to have sex yet. If you can remember what you thought of sex prior to that first crush then you may understand a lot better.
It is hard to miss something that you never had. |
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Sorenna
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 362
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 9:19 am Post subject: |
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40 year old virgins are nice. They are not going to use you, demand stuff from you, hurt you, get you pregnant, give you a disease or cheat.
I say stay how you are and someone might come along. And if they no one does, well, at least you won't be like everyone else.
Don't sell out just to make some point to someone. |
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0_equals_true
Quack!
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 5079
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:24 am Post subject: |
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| Is this a serious question? What are you expecting as an answer to be that inexperienced people are the work of the devil? It is a fact of life that some people are more inexperienced than others, and might be less socialy clued up. It doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't make it one. |
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Cynic
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Age: 34
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:11 pm Post subject: Re: Inexperienced over 40 men |
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| autisticstar wrote: | | Should I be concerned if a man is over 40 years old and has never had a sexual encounter? I have met and dated some men who are over 40 who said that they have never had sex before. |
Why would you if you can get someone more experienced?
| Rynok wrote: | | "He's never dated anyone! He must be unworthy!". |
That is most probably true.
| Rynok wrote: | | Someone has to date him |
Why should they when there are plenty of better choices? |
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Kilroy
Establishment knows whats best
Joined: Apr 25, 2007
Posts: 10471
Location: Driving the Last Spike
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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if I go to 40 and am still a virgin then I will probably shoot myself lol
but that's just me
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 416
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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If you want experienced, just hire an escort. I don't understand how their sexual experience really matters if your looking for a long-term relationship. Is it possible your the first person that's taken interest in him perhaps? Maybe he is just very picky.
Most likely, there is a reason he's single, non sexual, and over 40...but I wouldn't dump him simply for the age factor.
Maybe he just sticks to his guns and hasn't found a girl that he's desired to marry?
| Cynic wrote: |
Why should they when there are plenty of better choices?
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How do you define better choices? You can't only date people that have already been on the dating field.
Humans would go extinct because everyone has to start somewhere, and if no-one was willing to be the "first"...you see my point.
Just have him go hire an escort and then come back to you in a week!  |
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Cynic
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Age: 34
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:46 am Post subject: |
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| Rynok wrote: | | If you want experienced, just hire an escort. I don't understand how their sexual experience really matters if your looking for a long-term relationship. Is it possible your the first person that's taken interest in him perhaps? |
You must ask yourself why no one took interest in him at 18, or 21, or 25? Nearly everyone has lost their virginity by the time they hit adulthood, so obviouslly someone who's a virgin at 40 isn't going to be appealing to anyone.
| Rynok wrote: |
| Cynic wrote: | Why should they when there are plenty of better choices?
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How do you define better choices? You can't only date people that have already been on the dating field.
Humans would go extinct because everyone has to start somewhere, and if no-one was willing to be the "first"...you see my point. |
Anyone who hasn't had a partner in their teens can't be very desirable or they would have been taken long before then. |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1323
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:11 am Post subject: |
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| Cynic wrote: | | Rynok wrote: | | If you want experienced, just hire an escort. I don't understand how their sexual experience really matters if your looking for a long-term relationship. Is it possible your the first person that's taken interest in him perhaps? |
You must ask yourself why no one took interest in him at 18, or 21, or 25? Nearly everyone has lost their virginity by the time they hit adulthood, so obviouslly someone who's a virgin at 40 isn't going to be appealing to anyone.
| Rynok wrote: |
| Cynic wrote: | Why should they when there are plenty of better choices?
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How do you define better choices? You can't only date people that have already been on the dating field.
Humans would go extinct because everyone has to start somewhere, and if no-one was willing to be the "first"...you see my point. |
Anyone who hasn't had a partner in their teens can't be very desirable or they would have been taken long before then. |
The flaw in your logic is that you assume everyone to be "easy." |
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